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  1. LThornton is offline

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    Posted On:
    2/10/2009 2:38am


     Style: JJJ/TSD/MT/BJJ/TLA

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Or there's Roy Dean... black belts in BJJ, judo, JJJ, and aikido... teaches BJJ and aikido both.

    I often wonder what his aikido class looks like.
  2. Squerlli is offline
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    Posted On:
    2/10/2009 2:41am

    Join us... or die
     Style: Hiatus

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by LThornton
    Or there's Roy Dean... black belts in BJJ, judo, JJJ, and aikido... teaches BJJ and aikido both.

    I often wonder what his aikido class looks like.
    He uses the whole concet of "flying throuh the air with wrist locks" and just takes 2 hours to show people how to pull off flying submissions in a gi. At the end they bow so as to make it seem like valid Aikido.

    ...

    Now I'm suddenly intrigued by Aikido.
  3. Squerlli is offline
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    Posted On:
    2/10/2009 2:43am

    Join us... or die
     Style: Hiatus

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Sorry double post, my bad.
  4. pittfrog is offline

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    Posted On:
    2/10/2009 10:59am


     Style: Judo/BJJ

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    I know a BJJ black belt who is also a Bujinkan budo taijutsu black belt (yeah, that's right, a ninjer). I bet none of you thought that was possible.
  5. Snake Plissken is offline
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    When I Get Back

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    Posted On:
    2/10/2009 11:45am

    supporting member
     

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by Kentucky Fried Chokin
    You actually thought that the aikido black belt might have a black belt in BJJ, but decided to teach aikido?
    Didn't you see "The Hulk"?
  6. MrBadGuy is offline
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    Posted On:
    2/19/2009 2:29pm

    supporting member
     Style: Grapplomancer

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Forever Fat Act Three, Part Three: She's Got Medals

    After emotionally dealing with the fact that the fight of my life was against a non-BJJ practicing opponent, I fell back into schedule. The days passed by, one after the other, each one remarkably similar; a hardy work out, epic battles against men of varying sizes (ranging from large to rather large), and all the mat space I needed. The blissful sameness of each day was broken when two former students had returned after a lengthy break.

    They walked in wearing matching "Lucky" brand gi's, and matching four stripe white belts. Their apparel coordination skills were impressive. After a brief introduction I find out they're husband and wife; I quickly drop any plans I had of trying to pick up the lady for some "extracurricular sparring".

    When sparring time finally came around, I was hoping to be paired against the man. I was still unsure of my rank; it had been a full two years since I had trained, and beating up someone just below me would boost my confidence back into normal limits. The instructor called out pairings and I got paired with a white belt four stripe.

    The wife. I was filled with dread.

    Now, before anyone starts shouting about sexism, I've had mixed experiences with women in BJJ. I've seen the whole spectrum, from women who get angry if you play too rough, will squeal if you lay too much weight on them, and cry if they get frustrated, to battle vixens who can master blast you harder than a man of her size. Sparring with women raises a lot of personal doubt on top of that; am I using too much strength? Am I crushing her too much? Whoops, did I just do Knee-on-the-breasty instead of Knee-on-the-belly?

    To make matters worse, while she practices with a gi, she spars strictly no gi in a skin tight rash guard. She also has rather large bosoms, so I try to maintain eye contact. To complicate things even more, our school has top notch air conditioners. This led to a certain reaction between the air, her rash guard, and her. She was...well, she was smuggling peas. She had the bright lights on. If you haven't caught my gist by now, her nipples were poking out in a nearly obscene manner.

    Now, I'm not some sex offender who ogles every woman in a rash guard. I can enjoy the sport for what it is, and disregard gender. After all, I've been getting male genetalia to the face regularly for the past few weeks. The real problem was that she was very attractive, and I didn't know if I still had the magic powers to contain the southern Mr. Bad Guy during sparring. Combined with the fact she had large breasts and her nipples were hard enough to slice a diamond in half, this would be the greatest test I had ever faced.

    We shake hands, and begin to feel each other up, er, I mean, out. She taps my head to pretend for a double leg, and I eventually break the ice by initiating pummeling. One hip throw later, we're on the mat.

    It becomes apparent after a few elbows to my face she is not the dainty type. I kick it up a notch and switch to side mount. Lady luck shines on me and as her elbow is trapped; she can't get it in where it's supposed to be. I take advantage of this opportunity and hook under her arm, which she instinctively pins to her ribcage. Without thinking, I drive my elbow straight down to turn her onto the side, and using this turning, push my forearm in harder.

    This leads to the most spectacular breast smash in the history of man. My elbow coming down and my forearm driving in twisted her bosom in such a manner even her stalwart attitude couldn't hold out. She lets out a moan (of pain I assumed) as I go for the arm bar. Realizing I probably hurt her and she wants to stop, I let go and begin to sit up to apologize.

    She sits up and begins passing my guard; her mangled bosom the least of her worries. She turns around to side mount, and begins going for a basic shoulder lock. I bump and wriggle around, trying to recover both my position and my pride. She lays her weight heavily on my face to keep me from moving, and in the ultimate move of revenge, pokes me in the eye with her nip nip. I'm conflicted by how hot that is and by getting poked in the eye, and without considering my situation roll into her. She scrambles around to my back and I spin around to prevent it, and I end up in her guard.

    She begins working her rubber guard, and I begin passing her rubber guard. I'm not concerned with her gender, her mangled boob, or any other thing than victory. In the zone, I get stuck in half guard and start passing. I do the classic double underhook, jump onto your toes, and bounce until the foot slides down pass.

    While I usually fail to ignore the sexual nature of this pass, it becomes more apparent when she shoves her hips into mine to keep me from passing. The question of whether or not I should keep bouncing in this position while her husband watches pops into my head, and I'm out of my zone. She scrambles out, and I pull a crappy guard which she passes to side mount. I begin to escape, and she circles to north south. Back in my zone, ignoring her crotchal area, I begin to escape. I push on her shoulders as I almost escape, and she pulls my arms down. Straight on to her breasts. I put my forearms into her armpits to prepare to escape the situation and my embarrassment. She probably thinks I'm a sex offender from all the groping I've done.

    She slides down, and firmly plants both of her bosoms right on my face. I don't know what north south attack calls for this, but I was getting smothered, so I had to force my face through a breast to oxygen. It rests firmly on my cheek.

    The buzzer finally sounds and sparring is over. I had managed to survive the sparring session without raising the flag to full mast, and despite the many distractions, I had done rather well. My belt was still well deserved. We shook hands, and she seemed to bear no ill will towards me for the copious amounts of groping or smashing of her chest.

    I left that night in hopes that our future sparring sessions would seem less like a 13 year old that just stumbled upon his older sister's passed out friends and more like an asexual BJJ battle.

    My hopes went unfulfilled.

    Next time, Forever Fat Act Three Part Four: Unwashed and Somewhat Slightly Dazed
  7. 3moose1 is offline
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    Posted On:
    2/19/2009 2:42pm

    Join us... or die
     Style: MCMAP, BJJ

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    i lol'd

    PROOF that I'm not a completely useless poster:
    http://www.bullshido.net/forums/show...0&postcount=58


    Quote Originally Posted by Cy Q. Faunce
    3moose1 is correct. Sig THAT, you fucker.

    Quote Originally Posted by sochin101 View Post
    I went out with a delightful young woman who was on a regimen of pills that made her taste of burned onions.
    That is not conducive to passionate cunnilingus, my friend, let me assure you.
    Quote Originally Posted by HappyOldGuy View Post
    I agree with moosey
  8. 3moose1 is offline
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    Posted On:
    2/19/2009 2:43pm

    Join us... or die
     Style: MCMAP, BJJ

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    also, FIRST

    PROOF that I'm not a completely useless poster:
    http://www.bullshido.net/forums/show...0&postcount=58


    Quote Originally Posted by Cy Q. Faunce
    3moose1 is correct. Sig THAT, you fucker.

    Quote Originally Posted by sochin101 View Post
    I went out with a delightful young woman who was on a regimen of pills that made her taste of burned onions.
    That is not conducive to passionate cunnilingus, my friend, let me assure you.
    Quote Originally Posted by HappyOldGuy View Post
    I agree with moosey
  9. omoplatypus is offline
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    Merry Christmas! shitter's full...

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    Posted On:
    2/19/2009 2:52pm

    supporting member
     Style: BJJ/Judo

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    i refuse to grapple with women, unless it's the girlyfriend. but i don't like grappling with her so much because she kneed me in the balls one time.
    --------

    Quote Originally Posted by it is fake View Post
    yeah, normally i'd get a quote, but couldn't be bothered.
  10. DarkPhoenix is offline
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    I feel like you eyeballin' me, dawg!

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    Posted On:
    2/19/2009 3:07pm

    supporting member
     Style: Judo, JJJ, BJJ

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    My GF wants me to grapple with her, but I fear the significant weight advantage I have over her would be no fun.
    Quote Originally Posted by Holy Moment View Post
    BJJ JOE: I'm going to make hate to you. Right here, right now.
    ... Ohhhhhhhh, I'm going to make hate to you so hard that your kinfolk back in Africa will feel it.l
    Quote Originally Posted by Archer
    Karate is the Dane Cook of martial arts

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