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  1. #361

    Join Date
    Nov 2007
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    Alaska
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    374
    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by MrFilthyLiar
    Tall boy was on vacation in Canada (?!?!?).
    You just ruined my suspension of disbelief. Who goes to Canada for vacation?

  2. #362

    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    Location
    Chilliwack, BC
    Posts
    132
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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Cheap Canadians?

  3. #363
    MrBadGuy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Location
    Seven Seas of Rhye
    Posts
    2,899
    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Omg omg omg. Guys, I had to share this with you. This isn't part of the story, but it should go to show you how hilarious my life is.

    Dynamite came over today, and brought a friend of his. I've met this friend a few times before, but he wasn't friend material. I will call him Glasses Know it all braces annoying pizza face, or GKIABAPF for short.

    I show GKIABAPF, at the behest of dynamite, the hilarious Gene Lebell instructional video seminar with all the screaming and yelling. We all crack up. GKIABAPF makes a comment that grappling is pretty hilarious.

    Wait, pardon?

    He goes on to say that none of that gracie crap would work, but he makes a point to say "Especially that guard thing."

    I ask for him to explain.

    "Well, your eyes are wide open. I'd just start gouging."

    "Would you like to test this hypothesis?" I ask him.


    We return to my living room. I lay down, and bring him into the guard.

    "Ready?" I ask.

    "Ready." He says.

    "Go!"


    I just push one of his arms under a leg, and put him in a semi-tight triangle. Then, for hilarity, I put both my hands over my eyes, like when you're playing peek-a-boo.

    Dynamite cracks up, while PKIABAPF flails and tries to get under my hands. I could probably tip him over, but I don't. Instead I let him bathe in the futility of his situation, while slowly but surely increasing the tightness of my triangle. Squeezing tighter, he eventually taps. By taps, I mean he semi-screams "YOU'RE CHOKING ME I CAN'T BREATHE"

    "WTF was that crap?"

    "Crap? Dude, I just fucking choked you!"

    "Well, it wouldn't work on the street."

    Dynamite explodes in laughter.

    "Seriously guy, we can go out into the Cul-De-Sac if you really want to do it on the street." I try to play along without laughing at the absurdity of this.

    "Alright, let's do it."

    ...


    We walk into the cul-de-sac; no one really drives down here except for people who live there, and Dynamite is on the look out for cars.

    "Same deal?" I ask him.

    "Yea, but this time no gay choking ****."

    I laugh, and reply "Fine with me."

    I have my plan set out. A move I've always dreamed of doing. A move I've always known, but never gotten.

    He goes for the eye gouge, I cover them for laughs again. In reality I could push him away with my hips, but I'm trying to demonstrate to him how silly it is. He then is starting to try and pick me up to slam me. He does this by grabbing under my arm pits; however, he hasn't stood up yet. I guess he's going to try and pick me up like a baby, or dead lift me. I could let go, trip him, and let him crack his head on the concrete, but I'm kind.

    After he is fully under my body, I go for it. The move of dreams. The move that can cure cancer.

    Double arm bar.

    I get it, and Dynamite is literally on the ground with laughter. I have my legs on his shoulders, and have him in the double arm bar. I apply a liiiitle pressure, and GKIABAPF says "OOOW OK OK OK". Then, in my best Gene Lebell impression, scream "YYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAA", and release him from the guard. They both leave; Dynamite called me a few minutes ago, and reported GKIABAPF was still unconvinced. Some people, I swear!

  4. #364
    Kentucky Fried Chokin's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    Seattle, WA
    Posts
    5,450
    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    LOL, the people you associate yourself with...*shakes head*

  5. #365

    Join Date
    Nov 2007
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    Alaska
    Posts
    374
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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Yeah, well... IT WOULDN'T WORK IN A VOLCANO!

  6. #366
    Robstafarian's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    Chesterfield, VA
    Posts
    1,822
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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by MrBadGuy
    Lots of text.
    I held out as long as I could, but you're now officially my hero. Next time get video so you can join The B Team.

  7. #367
    Rivington's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Location
    East Bay, CA
    Posts
    4,803
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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Oh, you live on a cul-de-sac? How nice.

  8. #368
    It is Fake's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Posts
    34,442
    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by MrBadGuy

    I get it, and Dynamite is literally on the ground with laughter. I have my legs on his shoulders, and have him in the double arm bar. I apply a liiiitle pressure, and GKIABAPF says "OOOW OK OK OK". Then, in my best Gene Lebell impression, scream "YYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAA", and release him from the guard. They both leave; Dynamite called me a few minutes ago, and reported GKIABAPF was still unconvinced. Some people, I swear!
    We have a new winner for Kkknnneeeebbbbaaaahhhhh!!!!!

    Pics or it didn't happen.

  9. #369
    MrBadGuy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Location
    Seven Seas of Rhye
    Posts
    2,899
    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Not on the cul-de-sac per se. Here's the diagram.

    T

    The horizontal line is the road that my house is on. The Vertical line represents the cul-de-sac. Where the two meet is where my house is. So, in theory, if a car with no breaks or a really wasted guy were to drive out of the cul-de-sac, they would drive straight into my living room.


    IIF; I didn't have anything during the time. It was so random, I wasn't prepared. What I CAN do, on the other hand, is invite GKIABAPF back over and be prepared with my web cam for the different sillyness that will eventually occur.

  10. #370
    It is Fake's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Posts
    34,442
    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by MrBadGuy
    IIF; I didn't have anything during the time. It was so random, I wasn't prepared. What I CAN do, on the other hand, is invite GKIABAPF back over and be prepared with my web cam for the different sillyness that will eventually occur.
    Searches for the BS flag............

    I still like the fact that choking doesn't work.

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