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  1. DHNK is offline

    Registered Member

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    Jul 2006
    Location
    Israel, TA area
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    262

    Posted On:
    2/05/2008 4:43pm


     Style: MT\KM

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    LOL @ Qwansa belt.
  2. PasleyPMT is offline

    Registered Member

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    Jan 2007
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    Memphis
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    Posted On:
    2/05/2008 4:50pm


     Style: Muay Thai

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by The Question
    Oh my God, it's Jim Crow himself.
    I was wondering about that remarkably offensive avatar...it all comes together:eusa_thin
  3. MrBadGuy is offline
    MrBadGuy's Avatar

    King of the Impossible

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    Oct 2007
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    Seven Seas of Rhye
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    2,902

    Posted On:
    2/05/2008 4:52pm

    supporting member
     Style: Grapplomancer

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Enough bullshitery, time for more things centered around me.

    Brazilian Jiu Jitsu Part 7: Mixed Martial Madness

    After the tournament, I return like a pavlovian dog for my stripes and/or new belt. I receive neither, and am distraught. I got 2nd place in the Universal Hall of Fame, that has to be worth something. Little did I know, that zany instructor was cooking something else up.

    Next class he announces he will be introducing "Kickboxing" Mondays and Wednesdays, and "Vale Tudo" on Fridays. I instantly know I will be attending all of these new classes.

    The Kickboxing is being taught by a resident BJJ blue belt; this man is, all bullshit aside, pretty bad ass. He is solid like a rock, yet gentle as if he were handling you like a baby. He is a TKD blackbelt, and the only man I have ever met who made TKD work. I know he made it work, because a friend of his taped him beating the christ out of 3 men. Allow me to explain.

    TKD man and two of his buddies were at some form of Mardi Gras, having a good time. 4 other men decide to start some kind of crap. Luckily, one of TKD man's buddies gets out a camera for evidence and pretends not to know eithet TKD man or the remaining friend. The four men begin their assault. Wasting no time, TKD man kicks one of the men in the stomach with a side kick, and he crumples. He does not move again.

    His friend is getting gangbanged by two men at once, but he still has another man to deal with. He roundhouses the guy in the face, and he ragdolls. Sidekicked in the stomach man is still crumpled.

    He runs over to the two guys who are molesting his friend. By molesting, I mean kicking him on the ground while he lies in a fetal position. He rear naked chokes one, and his friend gets up and starts to fight with the last. He chokes the man unconscious, then he and his friend finish up the final man. You can choose to believe this or not; I saw it with my own eyes, and was fucking amazed. I learned never, ever to mess with this man.

    After seeing this video, it only reaffirmed the fact that I needed to get into the Kickboxing class. I joined it, and it was actually very good. He broke the kicks down into steps which focused on proper body and hip movement. I still have a half decent roundhouse, although my front kick as gone to ****. The man was an excellent teacher. But no one cares about what goes right.

    5 months after its inception, TKD man leaves the kickboxing class to be taught by the instructor. The instructor, as far as I know, has had no prior instruction in kickboxing, so how he plans to teach it is beyond me. Every class is the same; jogging warm up, some sit ups, some push ups. Then we split into pairs of two to practice a punch. The final 10 minutes of class is spent hitting the focus mits; do not be confused, only one person is doing work doing this time, while all of the others stand around. His combinations are lackluster at best. He has a six punch combo; L jab, R cross, L hook, R uppercut, L hook, R cross. The mit work consists of picking a number, 1 through 6, and doing that portion of the six hit combo. For instance, if he said 4, we would go jab cross hook uppercut. Five was jab cross hook uppercut hook. You get the idea. It was semi-decent cardio, but the standing around meant that the cardio consisted of a 3 minute focus mit round. Now that I'm at a real boxing school, I feel only sorrow for my past self.

    The MMA class is an even greater abomination; Vale Tudo, to him, consists of BJJ without a gi. The techniques are nearly the same; the only difference is, when we're in the guard, we have to hug their head to keep from getting punched. He does not say how to, per se, sweep when we are in the head hugging position, but only that we hug the head until we figure something out. Sparring is gi-less jiu jitsu, NO PUNCHES ALLOWED. I rest my case.

    I continue going to each class for a few more months or so, until I notice the instructor has been promoted to brown. I inquire about his promotion, and he informs me that HIS instructor just came, and gave him the belt. I was a little confused how he could be promoted without actually training, or sparring with Caique. I keep this on the inside, because I assume my instructor to be a total bad ass.

    Next time: Brazilian Jiu Jitsu Part 8: Infinite Knowledge, Forever wise!
    Last edited by MrBadGuy; 2/11/2008 3:51am at .
  4. PasleyPMT is offline

    Registered Member

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    Jan 2007
    Location
    Memphis
    Posts
    133

    Posted On:
    2/05/2008 5:14pm


     Style: Muay Thai

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    You're pretty quick when I need my fix.
  5. Roidie McDouchebag is offline
    Roidie McDouchebag's Avatar

    Injury Waiting To Happen

    Join Date
    May 2002
    Location
    Kamloops, BC
    Posts
    9,419

    Posted On:
    2/05/2008 5:15pm

    supporting member
     Style: Snatch Wrestling

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by The Question
    Oh my God, it's Jim Crow himself.
    I was wondering when someone was gonna get it.
  6. MrBadGuy is offline
    MrBadGuy's Avatar

    King of the Impossible

    Join Date
    Oct 2007
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    Seven Seas of Rhye
    Posts
    2,902

    Posted On:
    2/05/2008 5:35pm

    supporting member
     Style: Grapplomancer

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by PasleyPMT
    You're pretty quick when I need my fix.
    You'll find I post faster on Tuesdays/thursdays. These the days where I focus on legs, which makes them impossible to operate. MWF, however, usually involves some form of arm hell, which means I don't post till later in the day.
  7. alex is online now
    alex's Avatar

    STOP POSTING!

    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Location
    New Zealand
    Posts
    8,185

    Posted On:
    2/05/2008 5:38pm

    supporting member
     Style: Muay Thai

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    this stuff is awesome, and is inspiring me to make my own thread... i had similar experiences with bullshit krotty schools, kung fu, tournaments etc.

    plaise post next!
  8. hpr is offline
    hpr's Avatar

    Knock-off Cthulhu

    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    Helsinki / Finland
    Posts
    2,181

    Posted On:
    2/06/2008 2:39am


     Style: BJJ

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    I'd hug your nuts real tight for this thread, but instead I'll just do the push-ups.

    Thank you for my daily dose of entertainment :)
    Curiosity killed the cat. But damn it had a blast.
  9. socratic is offline

    How do elenchus?

    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    Australia
    Posts
    1,837

    Posted On:
    2/06/2008 3:18am


     Style: gah, transition again

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    I just read through the whole dang thread.

    Damn man, you got's the funny. + rep liek woah.
  10. Truculent Sheep is offline

    KEIN HAAR APPROVED!

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    Jan 2006
    Location
    UK
    Posts
    972

    Posted On:
    2/06/2008 6:23am


     Style: BJJ

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    You seem to be the martial arts equivalent of those women who keep going out with wankers... Still, +rep ahoy!

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