Some drunk walked into my house at 3AM

**Goju - Joe** · Posted On: 10/29/2007 3:26pm

Get a dog

**Sam Browning** · Posted On: 10/29/2007 3:39pm

But would Phil Elmore have done?

**SFGOON** · Posted On: 10/29/2007 4:00pm

Originally Posted by Soju - Joe

Get a dog

I found out just how worthless my lazy good for nothing beagle was last night. When I was out looking for burglars he jumped up on the bed and fell asleep on my pillow.

I live in Bellevue - an affluent suburb of Seattle. Not a lot goes on around here, but that doesn't excuse my stupidity.

If I was a bachelor, it would have been funny to me and I might have treated the guy to some naked BJJ. With my bride in the next room, dreaming of Linens 'n Things it was seriously unfunny.

Phil Elmore would have done the same as me, but with a DE .50 with a laser sight and a bayonet. He would have peed too.

**Lu Tze** · Posted On: 10/29/2007 4:05pm

No he wouldn't, he'd have fled to his fucking panic room and stayed there for 4 months. On his return to the world he'd then write a 18 page long essay describing his harrowing encounter with the brutal, crazed, heavily armed psychopath who broke into his home using demolition charges.

Edit: Honestly, do you know your neighbours well? It sounds to me like one of them, or a friend who stayed over, got confused and stumbled into the wrong house on the way back from a night on the piss. Happens all the time.

**SFGOON** · Posted On: 10/29/2007 4:11pm

That's what I figured - the guy looked confused as ****. It's the only reason I let him go.

**Sam Browning** · Posted On: 10/29/2007 4:19pm

You could have always hit him with a kettle bell, it would have been a documented win for systema.

**SFGOON** · Posted On: 10/29/2007 4:21pm

Well, if wishes and buts were clusters and nuts, we'd all have a bowl of granola.

**SFGOON** · Posted On: 10/29/2007 4:28pm

Besides, I can't yet afford the tuition for the Kombat Kettlebell(tm) seminar, nor have I earned enough piroshki points to attend,

**Sam Browning** · Posted On: 10/29/2007 4:31pm

But he was totally drunk, surely a wrist lock would have sufficed to throw him over your sofa, its not like one of those bad boys is useful any other time.

**Tonuzaba** · Posted On: 10/29/2007 4:38pm

I've never ever seen Americans lock their doors or cardoors, ever.

In the movies.

And movies strictly depict reality, don't they?

SFG - glad it ended up that way.