0h N0es!! Can it be?!!
Dear *NEW* Diary,
Welcome to the world of a Ninja. You were selected among all the other wide ruled spiral notebooks to be my companion and recorder in my new empire of awesomeness. One has failed where you will succeed, having been captured by the cops.
I'm hiding out in a secret compound from my enemies, who think I'm dead. Me, dead? Are you kidding? I'm a Ninja. We don't die. We only assimilate into shadow.
I'm starting a new clan, called The Nintenjutsu Ryu. I'd get the owner of the compound to join, but he stays drunk most of the time, and constantly goes off on rants about the government and not letting NAMBLA do their thing. I think NAMBLA stands for the National Association of Marine Battalion L33t Attackers. It makes sense, since he was in Desert Storm. This compound is small....portable so we can disappear at a moment's notice. We have to sleep in the same bed to be able to watch each others' backs. I don't really mind, aside from the fact that he likes to drape his leg over me, and he snores. It makes me feel a little crowded. I find that its a good time to astral project.
I visited my "grave" once. I found it to be soothing. I took one of my neighbor's Bingo daubers and drew the Kanji of the new school on my headstone. I live on, bitches...just like Rikimaru. Bingo ink is h3lla tough. It never washes off. I did that just for the cemetary caretaker. His grandson is a Muay Thai-er. Try and wash that off, ya old shin-kicking ****.
I dipped one of my shurikens into the ink and gave myself a tattoo of a shuriken on my arm. Ha. How cool is that? That's like using a bullet to pierce your ear and then wearing an earring in the shape of a gun or something. It totally fits. I think it made me sick, though, cuz I spent the rest of the night on the compound toilet with a mean case of the Shinobi Squirts.
I bet my parents are all upset and ****. Screw them. Maybe now they'll realize just what a kickass son they brought into the world. I mean, seriously. How cool must it feel to know that you squirted a ninja from your loins? Dad must have Ninjism. Sucks I had to die for them to notice me, though. I bet if I'd been in the Muay Thai gym they would have supported me. Shows what lame-asses they are.
Anyway, I'm going to sleep now. It's late and I have to get up and go refill the propane for the compound tomorrow, then I have asphalt shadow-glide training. Glad to have you with me, new diary. Just be sure and keep it ninja.
Wrong forum. This isn't YMAS
Edit--nevermind, thread has been moved
Last edited by bearich; 5/31/2007 2:51pm at .
Reason: Thread was moved from MABS to YMAS
I've been wanting more Ninjerism for awhile!
Today is turning out to be a slow day, so I'm just gonna kinda write about what went down with the whole dying thing. It wasn't me that got killed, it was one of my other students who was with me and D1ablo that day. I guess it was my fault. He once asked me what he would have to do to become a master at Danzig Ryu Ninjitsu. "Catch a bullet with your hand." was the answer I gave him. I suppose he was going for his master rank that day.
I got pepper sprayed. God that sucked. Apparently I'm allergic to Cayenne and I spent the next two days hallucinating in my uncle's RV. I found the last diary entry I made while I was in that state. LOLZ. I thought I was dead and in heaven. That's wicked queer. (Like that? I heard a guy from Boston say that once.)
So I'm still here in my uncle's RV compound. The other guys in the park are pretty cool, but they drink a lot. Some of them make fun of me when I'm out practicing. They call me "Kung Fu Man" and ****. IT pisses me off. Ninjitsu is h3lla better than "Dung Pu".
There is this one guy who lives in an RV with his 15 year-old girlfriend. He's an asshole. Sits in front of his house in a lawn chair wearing nothing but TAPOUT shorts and drinking Old Milwaukee. He calls me Ninja Fagg. I'm gonna teabag that ************ in his sleep and steal his girlfriend. She looks at me a lot, neways.
I'm currently working on the ranks and by-laws for Nintenjutsu Ryu. I'll write them down here when they're finished. My new Ryu is gonna be wicked sw33t.
Keep it Ninja, D-Izzle.
Nintenjutsu Ryu? Does this mean someone's going to try to use the Wii remote and Nunchuck as real Nunchaku at some point?
Last edited by kendamu; 5/31/2007 5:53pm at .
Reason: Added a pic.
Excellent. More ninjing!
And in a trailer park too! Splendirificas!
there's alot of ninja stealth to be had at a trailer park.
Originally Posted by colonelpong2
Is this the return of Diary Of A Teenage Ninja??
Best Thread EAVAHHHH!
I was at the store today buying a Sparks for Uncle Pete, and I almost got ran over by this truck that was pulling in to get gas. If I hadn't went back into ichicuchi no kamae to get out of the way, that guy's bumper would be dented like hell. Its nice to see I still have my Ninja reflexes. If I had trained the kamae as a stance, and not a posture, he would have hit me.
Then I would have been REALLY pissed...
He got out of his truck with his little poodle dog and his cabana shorts and penny loafers, yelling hysterically...telling me I was costing him money by getting in his way. I still don't know how. I stuck a shuriken in his windshield and ran. It was sweet.
That dude in the Tapout shorts wants to be me so bad. When I got back to the park, he was wearing socks with his flip flops. I told him he wasn't worthy to wear tabi. What a t00l.
I've been putting together a mix tape of Relient K and Simple Plan for his girlfriend...I'll slip it under the door when he goes to get more beer next time. I'm gonna try and get her to come over sometime when Uncle Pete is passed out.
Pretty short day today, Diary. I'll have more next time.
Keep It Ninja.
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