resident sick ****
Posted On:10/21/2007 5:31pm
Style: Being a total psychopath
Iím not special or anything so I decided to create a thread for other people to talk about their problems so this wonít be a giant Mr. Jones emo thread and also so there wonít be more than 10 thread titles of individual people talking about their problems.
Iíve been a narcisstic asshole lately and itís been showing in my posts. I talked about me commiting suicide being a bad martial artist and totally ignored and even made fun of a posterís girlfriend dying. Iím talking about Maverick.
I havenít been posting here at all because Iíve been having personal problems. So itís not like I finally have a life or anything. If I remember correctly thereís a college student who post here who works, go to college and trains regularly all with a notoriously high post count. It all started mostly because I wasnít paying attention to my family and my mentallityy was Iím going to school getting decent grades paying rent to my parents and also helping out with the food bill since I like to eat so much. I thought since I was doing well other people in my family were doing well, I was so wrong. Iím not going to talk about exactly what happened because Iím too embarrassed. Talking about how it affects me and my hobby of doing martial arts will suffice I hope.
I signed up at this BJJ and MT place. It actually looked pretty good and I looked at similar jiujitsu and MT schools and I liked this one the best so I signed up. I signed up and a few months later that family event/problem came up and I started going to class less and eventually not at all. Mostly because I was too embarrassed to show up to class owing them money. I paid 90 dollars for BJJ and 80 dollars for MT. Considering this was a MMA gym it was actually pretty good. Iíve heard horror stories of places asking for more.
All in all it wasnít that much but I was giving so much of my money to help my family I couldnít pay them. It wasnít uncommon for me to owe them 3 to 4 months and the company that takes care of everything has late fees on top of it. So I would come back 3 or 4 months later usually. I felt embarrassed that I would have to learn everything all over again and plus I was getting in worse and worse shape.
Just recently I pulled my wrist lifting something I would usually not have any problems with. So I got mad at myself for becoming so physically weak. I was contemplaiting voiding my contract and just not paying them. But itís really a nice gym and Iím getting mine and everyoneís stuff together so Iím looking forward to going back soon. Those little guys are really good teachers and they really enjoy what theyíre doing. Iím big and tall so they are short to me.
When I came back people would disrespect me for not showing up. They would say things like ď why canít you do this you should know this stuff alreadyĒ or ďstart coming to class you have no excuseĒ Respect is earned not given so I deserved everything they said to me. Iím big and tall like I said earlier so they probably think Iím fat and lazy which is okay to me.
Youíre probably wondering doesnít Mr. Jones do Aikido or something. Specifically Tomiki style. Tomiki style uses the Judo syllabus to teach Aikido. That means they charge as much as Judo and thatís really realy bad since Judo and Tomiki style are usually cheap. Or it could be the club I went to.
Physically Iím okay. But mentally I feel really ill. My mother says it hurts her inside to see someone so young so stressed out. She says Iím 20 but I act like Iím 40. Hereís what I did just incase anyoneís curious.
Everyone has a full time job including me. I dropped out of college to manage everything and make more money to help my family. Everyone has to put their entire pay checks into my account. No one is allowed to own any credit cards or borrow any money from anywhere or anyone. After I look at my account and make sure to pay the electricity, gas, water, mortgage, life insurance etc. I give everyone an allowance. But they arenít allowed to buy any alcohol or spend too much money on stuff.
I broke down and started seeing a psychiatrist. And the medication is doing something to my eyesight so Iím sorry if this isnít very coherent.
**** you math class
Posted On:10/21/2007 5:32pm
Style: TKD, Ballet, Archery
Are you going to kill yourself or not?
This game is really hard and GIJoe6186 is a ******.
Color photos of the late Tsarist Russia.
Posted On:10/21/2007 5:40pm
Since I've started seeing professional help most likely not Mega Jesus San.
Edit: I mean no Sirc
Posted On:10/21/2007 5:42pm
So, why exactly are you posting this? In case you haven't noticed, bullshido is not renowned for compassion and soft mushy conversations about your feelings. Especially when trying to read what you posted hurt my eyes and made me question your sanity all at once.
Posted On:10/21/2007 5:43pm
You know, you could save money by canceling your psychiatrist appointments.
Posted On:10/21/2007 5:44pm
how can I make money if I kill all of my coworkers V Tech style?
Posted On:10/21/2007 5:55pm
Posted On:10/21/2007 6:04pm
Style: many; box,TKD,croty,BJJ..
:hello: Sorry to hear that Mr. Jones -sounds screwed up to me. I don't know you yet, but you sound like you train hard there man, and you sound like a hard frikkin' worker. Don't be too hard on yourself. The rest of the world can do that for you. (at least that is what my old man told me once and it sorta made sence and worked for me).
You know that there are studies a fit body is just as important to fight depression. Martial arts in particular is said to boost your confidence and self esteem. I couldn't agree more. You are in shape= you sleep better, eat better, everything better... Add focus training and you have aclear head too, not in a friggin fog that depression does to you. I know depression pretty bad man too- it gets better. Haven't needed pills (minor stuff not to worry) in like forever since i jacked up my training routine. Hard training is what gets you the respect- sweat man sweat.
Those bills you pay to the gym/dojo are just as important as the ones to your doctor sir. Stick with it. Your life will be wayyyy better. I work with crazy and I know crazy because I been there- its important to be the good kind of crazy though, and it sound like you are. Join the club. Muhahahaha
Training hard, working and looking after the family is hard- I truely know how that feels buddy. Its doable- just make it your priority. As far as collge goes, I think you recognize it can wait. If you have a good-enough job, it can wait until things settle down. You'll get way more out of it later. I wish I had worked right away out of high school- it would have given some more time to get perspective and to train better. For da fam---Hells, better yet- drag their butts in to the gym too. Get them involved so they can see how fun and important it is for you. Moms too :lol:
Last edited by praetorian01; 10/21/2007 6:30pm at .
Posted On:10/21/2007 9:18pm
Have you tried drinking booze? It works for me, and it's cheaper than a psychologist !
Stand and Deliver!
Posted On:10/21/2007 11:44pm
Style: JKD Concepts, Kyokushin
Have you tried drinking yet?
"Onward we stagger, and if the tanks come, may God help the tanks." - Col. William O. Darby
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