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  1. #11

    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Location
    Boynton
    Posts
    507
    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    I aprechiate it and i am aware my spelling and grammer are horiable with out a spell check. If it appeared tht i was becomeing definsive alas i probably was. The advice is still aprechiated.

  2. #12

    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Posts
    3,081
    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Just do what the cops over here in NZ are doing: Pick random people and arrest them for "Terrorism"

  3. #13

    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Posts
    3,530
    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by SFGOON
    So - they're going to be mean at the academy?

    I'd be fuckin sick of that kind of **** by now if I didn't find it so hilarious. I can't wait!
    We had but one funny drill instructor.

    "I'm afraid your dismal display is a portense of things to come in drill performance.
    Do you know what a 'portense' is? It's like an Omen! Ever see that movie? It's pretty scary. KIND OF LIKE YOUR PERFORMANCE RIGHT NOW!!!! (to the 'slow' guy)

    "You look like 50 pounds of dog food stuffed into a 25 pound bag!!" (to the fat guy)

    "What's with your marching?! You look like you're about to bust into a saloon!" (To the bow-legged guy)

    "Is there a toddler teething on your weapon?!" (to the guy who forgot his weapon)

    "I'll beat you like a baby seal. If you think that's unkind go ahead and call Peta, I'll smoke them too!" (to everyone).

  4. #14

    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Location
    North Carolina
    Posts
    16
    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by Kein Haar
    We had but one funny drill instructor.

    "I'm afraid your dismal display is a portense of things to come in drill performance.
    Do you know what a 'portense' is? It's like an Omen! Ever see that movie? It's pretty scary. KIND OF LIKE YOUR PERFORMANCE RIGHT NOW!!!! (to the 'slow' guy)

    "You look like 50 pounds of dog food stuffed into a 25 pound bag!!" (to the fat guy)

    "What's with your marching?! You look like you're about to bust into a saloon!" (To the bow-legged guy)

    "Is there a toddler teething on your weapon?!" (to the guy who forgot his weapon)

    "I'll beat you like a baby seal. If you think that's unkind go ahead and call Peta, I'll smoke them too!" (to everyone).
    Some from mine:

    "Oh, we wanna play games? I got more games than Milton Bradley." (prior to smoke session)

    "Ma'am, is that your ass in the air durring pushups or did a whale beach itself in my sandpit?" (To fat chick with her ass in the air attempting pushups)

    "That one-nut bike fag is still twice the man you can ever aspire to be" (To guy who decided to wear his "live strong" bracelet durring PT)

    "Aye Aye sir?!?! Who the helll are you, Captain Crunch? Do I look like Popeye the freakin sailor to you?" (To sailor who slipped up and responded "aye sir")

    And the funniest one of all:

    "Easy Day people, easy day." (Biggest. Lie. Ever.)

  5. #15
    SFGOON's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Location
    Seattle, WA
    Posts
    2,208
    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    The **** that comes out of those people's mouths...

    "Who the **** is you, cockstrong lookin' private?" My DS to me on the first day of training.

    "Marchand would eat the asshole out of a pig if it would hold still for it!" Mean DS to the fat kid as he ate his thanksgiving meal.

    "Ima - Ima smoke dem mutherfuckin balls privates - smoke them little balls!! Roodie to the toodie, la de DA!" I'm at a loss to explain that one - but it was said.

    God I loved every minute of it. Nothing like being terrified for nine weeks with hourly comedy breaks thrown in.

  6. #16

    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Location
    North Carolina
    Posts
    16
    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    And, of course:

    You? EWE? So I'm a fucking sheep now? Because that's what sheep are for, fucking. You want to **** me, don't you Recruit? You're a dirty sheep fucker.

  7. #17
    Gezere's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2002
    Location
    Rhineland Pfalz, Der Vaderland
    Posts
    10,579
    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Two of my favorites:

    "I'm going rip off your ears, stick them up your rear, so you can hear me kicking your ass!!!" (I don't remember where I got that but I use it often.)

    "Why are you looking at me? Do you like me? If so, and I like you then where do we go from here? Kinda awkward. I hate awkward. So we can avoid all that by you not looking at me." (One of our DS deadpans this so well its hilarious.)
    ______
    Xiao Ao Jiang Hu Zhi Dong Fang Bu Bai (Laughing Proud Warrior Invincible Asia) Dark Emperor of Baji!!!

    RIP SOLDIER

    Didn't anyone ever tell him a fat man could never be a ninja
    -Gene, GODHAND

    You can't practice Judo just to win a Judo Match! You practice so that no matter what happens, you can win using Judo!
    The key to fighting two men at once is to be much tougher than both of them.
    -Daniel Tosh

  8. #18
    bushi_no_ki's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2005
    Location
    Colorado
    Posts
    393
    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Asia, we actually had a soldier tell the Sr. DS that he did like him and thought he was cute when he got that routine. Made the remaining eleven weeks of OSUT hilarious.

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