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  1. --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!

    Not Without My Justice: The Aaron Boyd Story: By Aaron Boyd

    I promised you something epic and I'm delivering. What follows are my chronicles of my two years as a student at Radunz Isshin-Ryu Karate. No quarter has granted, no words marshalled. For those unfamilair with the story...well, I've got a link to the "Worst Techniques I was Ever Taught" thread at the end. Long version: I trained at the most Bullshido school not affiliated with the Bujinkan. Short Version: They taught me to punch people in the foot.

    The final document, typed out in Word with a variety of whimsical fonts, clocks in at 16 pages. I understand most of you aren't neglecting your jobs that aggressively, so in the interest of pacing, I'll be posting one installment a day for four days.

    Part I: Shake Hands With Danger

    Like all stories worth telling, mine begins with a teenage boy watching a kung-fu movie. Specifically, it begins in the balmy summer of 2001, those fleeting months after the divisive 2000 election and prior to the terrorist attacks of September The Eleventh. I’d like to try and justify my actions by holding them to some grand historical context, explaining these two tragic years away as the result of some misguided post-9/11 sense of revenge, or justice, or to sublimate my feelings of anger, or perhaps on a smaller, more intimate level, to never allow myself to be victimized. But I can’t bullshit you. All I wanted was to say I knew karate.

    But which style? I ran through a checklist of everything I knew about martial arts. Kung fu and karate were both generic, interchangeable terms for all fighting styles. Everyone knows that. Tae Kwon Do has kicks, or throws, or both. Two check marks for TKD. Dragon style has the twisting, evasive footwork but the Eagle’s precision strikes are without rival. Maybe if I just picked two animals and crosstrained...

    Decisiveness is not my strong point. I could’ve done this **** for weeks. And probably would have, if not for a certain serendipitous flyer from a local community rec center.

    ISSHIN-RYU KARATE

    Instructor: Mark R. Radunz, 6th Degree Black Belt
    Located at the Waterford CAI Building since 1966. Our program is designed for students who are interested in learning a martial art in a non-competitive environment. Focus is on kata (forms), bunkai (applications) and kobudo (weapons). Our goal is to teach highly effective techniques of self defense using both empty and filled hands in an effort to promote well being and security. $100 to join, includes first two months and $40/month thereafter (no contracts).
    REGISTER WITH INSTRUCTOR FIRST NIGHT OF CLASS.

    CAI Building, Ongoing
    Tuesdays & Thursdays
    6:30-8:30 PM


    I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t initially skeptical. First off, like I said before, everyone knows every martial art is karate. That’s just common sense. Second, karate dojos aren’t rec centers. They’re either pagodas (real schools) or strip malls (fake schools). And third, karate masters are not named “Mark”. They are named “Hirohito” or “DeQuan”.

    In spite of my reservations, I was too lazy to do any actual research so I drove to the CAI building, my mom in tow to illustrate I meant business. Also because I could not drive. The building’s façade belied nothing short of a prison; short, squat, white, wide, like a White Castle with the Downs. The parking lot existed more as an empty field of concrete and rubble, the sort of urban apocalypse dominating much of the greater Detroit landscape. And the interior smelled exactly as you’d imagine a low-rent publicly-funded Fun Hall to smell—predominantly damp, a heady bouquet of urine and bleach, buffered by an almost imperceptible papery texture.

    Ascending a short flight of stairs, we came upon the dojo proper, a rectangular room that was very, very obviously meant as a dance hall. The floor was tiled and unpadded, and save for two mirrors on the far end, completely empty. There were no bags, no pads, a small stack of mats we would use exactly twice during my tenure, and a coat rack near the entrance. I’d be lying if I said this jived with the candy-colored mats and nunchuk racks I’d envisioned.

    We were greeted by a man with peppery hair tied back in a ponytail, late 40’s, manic eyes. He introduced himself as Mark, sensei and 6th-degree blackbelt in the exquisite art of traditional Okinawan Isshin-Ryu Karate-Do, or the “Okinawan One Heart Method School Way Chinese Empty Hand Way” . Upon retrospect, however, I think the phrase “exquisite art of...” comes from Kill Bill. He delivered a short spiel on the history and nature of his art. I was told Isshin-Ryu evolved from Shorin-Ryu and Goju-Ryu karate and was a circular, soft style based on natural body mechanics to help defeat stronger opponents using a bare minimum of musculature. Instead of countering force with force, Isshin-Ryu deflects an opponent’s energy and seeks to retaliate with devastating blows to vulnerable targets utilizing absolute efficiency and power. Obviously a system this lethal could not permit free sparring, for the effects could be catastrophic.

    Through the discerning eye of an untrained, insecure teenager his story seemed airtight. I was indeed on the smaller side, so it made sense to go with something that would rely on technique over strength. And one of the very few things I knew about fighting was that you don’t want to act unnaturally. But one thing didn’t sit well with me. It was just a passing phrase in his monologue, but it flew in the face of everything I knew about everything. Why was there no free sparring? Isn’t that supposed to be the core of martial arts training? Doesn’t Jackie Chan have, like, a gold medal in sparring? I’d never heard of any human endeavor where you could improve your performance solely through mime (except perhaps mime), which, without physical contact or actual fighting, the training would probably devolve into.

    I brushed it off, of course. This isn’t the story of the time I checked out a crappy karate school for fifteen minutes and left.

    Before we’d even got into the car mom remarked that, this being Thursday, I had ample time to join in time for the Tuesday class. Though impressed by the sensei, the idea of no-contact training in an empty concrete hallway in a smelly old rec center stuffed between a driver’s ed class and Advanced Senior Waltzing struck me as oddly unappealing, and I asked if maybe we should shop around a bit more. Mom was appalled.

    “What’s wrong with this one?”

    “I dunno, I just think we should look around for something with more…props?”

    (I don’t know why I called heavy bags “props”. This tale is a tragedy and my own lack of articulation is but one facet of its sorrow)

    “We’re not going to drive around forever. This is fine.”

    I couldn’t figure out why she was so adamant about going with the first school we saw, but at the same time, what WAS wrong with it? Aren’t training tools just overrated gimmicks anyway? Isn’t the real issue the quality of the instruction?

    As we drove off, I lost the will to argue. Mom was right. There wasn’t anything wrong with the school.

    Right?

    END SCENE

    Tomorrow: Crisis in the Ashes

    CLICK HERE FOR PART TWO OF THIS ISSHIN-RYU TALE OF STUFF OR DON'T

  2. kwoww is offline
    kwoww's Avatar

    poser

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    Jan 2007
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    Lower Hudson Valley / Rochester
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    Posted On:
    9/20/2007 9:04pm


     Style: punching bag / crew jitsu

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Not epic enough for all the hype you gave it, but still a good read.

    I'm hooked.
  3. Boyd is offline
    Boyd's Avatar

    OFFICIAL Mayor of Cwcville

    Join Date
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    Cwcville
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    Posted On:
    9/20/2007 9:05pm

    supporting member
     Style: Electricity, Speed

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    "Karate" is code for "swarms of dragons having sex in midair".
    Captain's Log: Just a little update for all my TRUE and HONEST friends out there:

    1) I am STRAIGHT! I am STRAIGHT! Get it through your thick skulls, numbskulls!

    2) My name is not Ian Brandon Something.

    3) Kacey is coming with me now. I have stolen her from the other Christian Weston Chandler.

    REMINDER: I am still the one and only true creator of sonichu and rosechu electric hedgehog pokemon
  4. fes_fsa is offline
    fes_fsa's Avatar

    yes....

    Join Date
    May 2007
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    Sandy, UT
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    2,306

    Posted On:
    9/20/2007 9:06pm


     Style: drunken bjj

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by kwoww
    I'm hooked.
    seconded.
  5. Virus is offline
    Virus's Avatar

    Senior Member

    Join Date
    Aug 2005
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    Australia
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    6,967

    Posted On:
    9/20/2007 9:08pm

    Join us... or die
     Style: Judo

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    This is awesome.

    And that wasn't the r34l Isshin ryu.
  6. Axelton is offline

    Join Date
    Oct 2006
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    Tucson, AZ
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    Posted On:
    9/20/2007 9:08pm


     Style: Wing Chun, Hung Gar

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Aaron Boyd:

    Who cares?

    The End
  7. syberia is offline
    syberia's Avatar

    Here to kick your ass.

    Join Date
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    Australia
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    Posted On:
    9/20/2007 9:11pm

    supporting member
     Style: BJJ

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by Boyd
    "Karate" is code for "swarms of dragons having sex in midair".
    Still not epic anough.

    Good read though, well written.
  8. Teh El Macho is offline
    Teh El Macho's Avatar

    Senior Member

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    Porcupine/Hollywood, FL & Parmistan via Elbonia
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    Posted On:
    9/20/2007 9:13pm

    supporting member
     Style: creonte on hiatus

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Dude, what the hell? That's it? The suspense of what's coming next is killing me!
    Read this for flexibility and injury prevention, this, this and this for supplementation, this on grip conditioning, and this on staph. New: On strenght standards, relationships and structural balance. Shoulder problems? Read this.

    My crapuous vlog and my blog of training, stuff and crap. NEW: Me, Mrs. Macho and our newborn baby.

    New To Weight Training? Get the StrongLifts 5x5 program and Rippetoe's "Starting Strength, 2nd Ed". Wanna build muscle/gain weight? Check this article. My review on Tactical Nutrition here.

    t-nation - Dissecting the deadlift. Anatomy and Muscle Balancing Videos.

    The street argument is retarded. BJJ is so much overkill for the street that its ridiculous. Unless you're the idiot that picks a fight with the high school wrestling team, barring knife or gun play, the opponent shouldn't make it past double leg + ground and pound - Osiris
  9. PockSuppet is offline

    Featherweight

    Join Date
    Jan 2007
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    Posted On:
    9/20/2007 9:14pm

    Bullshido Newbie
     Style: Aikido, Judo

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    MOAR!
  10. Ronin is offline

    Senior Member

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    Canada
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    Posted On:
    9/20/2007 9:15pm

    Join us... or die
     Style: Shi Ja Quan

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    i'll show you something epic !!
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