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  1. Poo-Jitsu is offline
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    Posted On:
    9/10/2007 10:44am


     Style: BJJ

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Here are some gems from my two years spent training wing chun...

    - "your body is made of over 70% water. with a powerful (d34dly f1ing3r p0ke) you can burst someone's organs. but we dont teach that until much later in the curriculum"

    - one of the instructors cross trained in BJJ. he was showing the head instructor some things on the ground and the head instructor bit him(!). he was promptly submitted. "we dont practice grappling here. we do anti-grappling."

    - looking in syllabus for training revealed t3h d34dly dim mak techniques, which were taught to black belts. think that had anything to do with t3h organ bursting f1ng3r p0ke?

    - when learning arm bar defense, instructor looks around the room "does anyone know how to perform an arm bar so i can show how to defend against it?"

    - when learning takedown defense, instructor looks around the room "does anyone know how to perform a single or double leg takedown so i can show how to defend against it?"

    - elbow to back of the head defense to take down (you know, against the takedown that nobody actually knew how to perform.)

    - push forward for defense against arm bar that nobody actually knew how to perform.

    - we spent an entire class running and jumping into a diving forward somersault. why? well what if you were running and tripped?

    - "we are a concept based martial art"

    - sport martial arts don't train you to kill your opponent.

    -one of the most ridiculous ones was when i bought a book from the grand headmaster or whatever. he related wing chun and the body to the periodic table of the elements - thus taking the scientific principles to a whole new level. this thing was complete with diagrams showing little carbon and nitrogen atoms and what not all attached to various parts of the body (clustered around the knees, hips, feet, etc). this was supposed to, i think, teach you to build up your stance from the ground up, but WTF??? why was everything made so ridiculously complicated and fucktarded?

    oh right, because it's _ing _un.
  2. RunningDog is offline
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    nail conditioning

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    Posted On:
    9/10/2007 11:59am


     Style: Rehab

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by Tonuzaba
    GOOD NEWY I GAVED UP ZE WINGTSUN COZ RUNNINGDOG BEATED ME UP HURR HURR
    That's right. I flew to Slovakia and smashed up Tony, his wingtsun proved useless and he has now quit in tears.

    BJJ wins again.*










    *Translation: I hijacked Tony's computer and wrote that post.
  3. WingChun Lawyer is offline
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    Modesty forbids more.

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    Posted On:
    9/10/2007 12:25pm

    supporting member
     Style: Muay Thai, BJJ newbie.

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    My turn.

    Well, I started Wing Chun after having practiced Judo for about ten years (purple belt) and after doing some sport jiujitsu with lots of sparring (both striking and grappling). So I had absolutely no excuse for doing something that stupid, mea culpa.

    See, I was going through a kung fu seems cool phase, so I just had to. In fact I was doing Northern Praying Mantis kung fu and I decided Wing Chun was much better because of the centerline, etc.

    So I spent two years doing the siu nin tao, chi sao, little bagwork, and no sparring at all.

    The problem is that although I knew sparring was essential I never managed to convince my sifu to let us have a go, he said it was too dangerous. Even though I found out his own sifu made him spar - when I questioned him about it he said he never did like sparring, and that was that.

    So, convinced of my own non-tested wing chun skills, I decided I would crosstrain in Muay Thai.

    In my first sparring match I thought I did great against an instructor. Cool.

    In my second sparring match I was utterly owned by a guy who had six months of training under his belt (and I had been doing the -un for almost two years by then). Oops.

    So, for the next six months, a pattern developed. Go to MT gym, get beaten like a little bitch, go to WC kwoon, ask sifu how to counter such and such technique, sifu explains, get beaten again by MT newbie, rinse and repeat: it got quite tiresome.

    But it all finally came down when the WC sifu decided to teach us some throws.

    See, I may have been a deluded fool when it came to striking thanks to all those kung fu movies and the bullshit the sifu was feeding me, even after the MT sparring, BUT I had ten years of judo under my belt. I knew what crappling was like.

    So whenever the sifu decided to show us a throw, I would volunteer. And I would not let him throw me, simple as that.

    He got a bit frustrated, but he was the vegetarian, non-confrontation kind of sifu. So He tried to throw me, choke me, put me in locks and holds and such.

    And I wouldnīt let him.

    In fact sometimes I put him in a nice osoto-gari for his troubles, but I didnīt throw him, because I was feeling nice.

    So I finally decided that if he was bullshitting about the grappling he was more likely than not bullshitting about the striking as well, specially since that damn tan sao hadnīt worked once in the MT gym.

    And therefore I quit and started training only MT. Oh, I did try to use some WC stuff now and then (it was hard to admit I wasted two years of training), but it never worked so I gave up.

    So...my name is Francisco and I havenīt done Wing Chun for four years now.

    Say "HELLO, FRANCISCO!"
    That civilisation may not sink,
    Its great battle lost,
    Quiet the dog, tether the pony
    To a distant post;
    Our master Caesar is in the tent
    Where the maps are spread,
    His eyes fixed upon nothing,
    A hand under his head.


    - W.B. Yeats
  4. RunningDog is offline
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    nail conditioning

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    Posted On:
    9/10/2007 12:35pm


     Style: Rehab

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    "HELLO FRANCISCO"


    Nice story.
  5. PsychoMongoose is offline
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    Posted On:
    9/10/2007 12:39pm


     Style: Not much at the moment

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by RunningDog
    That's right. I flew to Slovakia and smashed up Tony, his wingtsun proved useless and he has now quit in tears.

    BJJ wins again.
    It's true, the guys Chi Sau'ed to death. Then RunningDog won by RNC....
    Last edited by PsychoMongoose; 9/10/2007 2:49pm at . Reason: Didn't sound as friendly as I intended....
  6. Lebell is offline
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    Just waiting for the paperboy.

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    Posted On:
    9/10/2007 12:44pm

    supporting member
     

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    LOL@ WC Francisco!
  7. RunningDog is offline
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    nail conditioning

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    Posted On:
    9/10/2007 6:09pm


     Style: Rehab

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    My old 'Tsun school ticked all the boxes.

    Lots of form work: Check

    "the most efficient martial art" claims: Check

    "Scientifically proven" claims: Check

    Grandmaster with ridiculous title*: Check

    Class dominated by unfit podgy, nerdy Bruce Lee nutriders: Check

    Compliant drilling all class: Check

    Lots of punching the air: Check

    Anti-grappling program: Check

    Little Dragons Black belt club: Check

    Exorbitant senior grading fees: Check

    Sparring "too dangerous": Check

    Eye gouges taught for self-defence: Check

    Silly slippers mandatory: Check

    Cross-training discouraged: Check

    UFC looked down upon: Check

    Black belts in 2-3 yrs with no fighting ability whatsoever: Check

    Students (me) persuaded to teach for no pay: Check

    Saved by Bullshido.net: Check

    BJJ wins again?: Check





    *Professor Leung Ting: Master of Almightiness.
  8. Aleem is offline

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    Posted On:
    9/10/2007 6:39pm


     Style: Ex-wing chun

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Runningdog where are you from in England? Your experience sounds exactly the same as mine. I got Leung Tinged too. Fucker still has my money and I want it back. Did you ever come across a Sifu Richard Summers? Typically condescending and egotistical guy who gave seminars in WT UK schools.

    But I bet that even in your school they didn't teach you to escape mount by chopping at the mounter's arms and then his throat. The worst part is, I half believed in that fucking drill for about a week.

    EDIT: adding PROOF that Leung Ting is the Almighty ...

    http://www.wingchun.com/wtmain.htm

    He's got the certificate to prove it. Yip Man's ghost signed it. Well done Mr. Ting on achieving almightiness.
    Last edited by Aleem; 9/10/2007 6:47pm at .
  9. RunningDog is offline
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    Posted On:
    9/10/2007 6:46pm


     Style: Rehab

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Those gems were all passed down to me by the seafoods at the NWTO in the SE, I was particularly impressed by the blackbelt factory at Tonbridge.
    Never met Richard Summers though, I wish I had, sounds like comedy stuff.

    How much of your money? I paid a few hundred for a 'technician' exam I never took.
  10. Aleem is offline

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    Posted On:
    9/10/2007 6:57pm


     Style: Ex-wing chun

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Luckily enough I dodged a contract. I'd say somewhere in the region of Ģ250 spent in 3 months of training. May not seem like a lot, but when you pay that much just to be made a fool of by your own reflection laughing at you, it hurts.

    Richard Summers was indeed comedy. Talked a lot about his "guns," and how at his level the movements became so precise. He would literally correct our bongs and tans in millimeters. An unbelievable mindfuck. I graded twice; I passed because all I was required to do was stand in a group of about 25 people doing the Siu Nim Tao. He'd casually glance about, nod his head, and then walk off.
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