How do defend street thugs?

**SFGOON** · Posted On: 8/02/2007 10:44pm

Find a slow buddy to hang out with. You don't have to outrun the thugs, you just have to outrun him.
:walk:

**Joe Doggs** · Posted On: 8/02/2007 11:47pm

Originally Posted by SFGOON

Find a slow buddy to hang out with. You don't have to outrun the thugs, you just have to outrun him.
:walk:

The old backpackers Bear defence adapted for the street. I like it. I hear dropping any food you have works well also LOL

**SFGOON** · Posted On: 8/02/2007 11:57pm

Wrong place I know, but this thread is retarded anyways.

A friend of mine owns some sort of quarry in the middle of nowhere. He and his three business partners go out to mine the ore and have a cabin they stay in. The problem was, there was a bear they would feed despite my buddies' warnings. The thing actually came to the front door, would scratch on it, and they'd feed him whatever scraps they had.

So one day my buddy is wasted at night in the cabin and hears the scratching. He opens the door and there's the bear up on his hind legs begging. His friends scramble to find something to feed it.

My buddy punches the bear in the nose then runs out the back door.

The now enraged bear follows him into the cabin and starts ripping it to shreds. His friends, the three stooges run outdoor into the perpetual Alaskan twilight in their undies and watch as the bear destroys their living quarters.

Do you know how cold it is in Alaska in your undies during June at 11pm? I do....

**M1K3** · Posted On: 8/03/2007 7:33am

I have found that hiding in the basement, drinking large amounts of cheap vodka, watching Simpsons and Matrix reruns and keeping a loaded shotgun on my lap works for me.

Oh yeah, don't take your meds either.

Oh yeah, and listen to the voices. They are your friends, they will help you.

**cyrijl** · Posted On: 8/03/2007 7:41am

Where the hell are these people living where there are bands of unarmed street thugs engaging in one on one unarmed combat? AND they have a reliable internet connection.

**Schwarde** · Posted On: 8/03/2007 9:00am

Originally Posted by M1K3

Oh yeah, and listen to the voices. They are your friends, they will help you.

:laughing9

**Teh El Macho** · Posted On: 8/03/2007 9:14am

Originally Posted by Nickeroon1987

Originally Posted by patfromlogan

I'd punch the makiwara at least a thousand times a day, until your hands look like this and you can **** people up.

They look like mushrooms sprouting out of his fist.

Poison mushrooms :)

Originally Posted by G8

don't be an asshole. don't hang out with assholes. don't hang at out places where assholes congregate.

problem 99.5% solved.

These are words of wisdom. If people were to do this, they would not have to worry about S/D scenarios.

**Kintanon** · Posted On: 8/03/2007 10:33am

The OP obviously lives in ancient china but is time traveling into the future to steal the secrets of our futuristic Kung Fu to take back to his small, impoverished village so they can use it to stop the local warlords from stealing their unbathed but inexplicably hot women.

**Necroth** · Posted On: 8/03/2007 10:49am

Originally Posted by cyrijl

Where the hell are these people living where there are bands of unarmed street thugs engaging in one on one unarmed combat? AND they have a reliable internet connection.

You mean you don't have a band of roving gypsys, raving for blood and killing all who cross their paths. Man, what kind of Paradise do you live in? And can I move there? Because this constant ass-kicking, name-taking, and bubble gum chewing that I and my best friend, Duke Nukem, are doing is getting old. And I'm all out of bubble gum.

Actually, I employ the old standby method of dispatching wily thugs: ride a giant elephant everywhere. Nobody attacks you when you're on an elephant...unless you're in a Bollywood film. Then you're fair game. For singing! And dancing! Namasthe! Edhuva! Lungicodhca! *runs in terror in case someone speaks Hindi*