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  1. wagamichi is offline
    wagamichi's Avatar

    Senior Member

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    Dec 2005
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    Alaska
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    1,405

    Posted On:
    7/28/2007 3:11pm


     Style: wagamichi shorei kempo

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by Squerlli
    Not my hall of shame moment but a great one none the less. Theres a dojo next to where I live called "The Budokan MA School". Its a big place but the only useful things you'll learn their is judo and a small portion of the jap. ju-jitsu that doesn't suck balls. They also offer...yes you guessed it, Ninjutsu. I used to know a kid that went their (different kid from the one I choked out in one of my other stories) lets call him... Bob. Bob was an average sized kid, about 5'9 at 150 or 160. Normal healthy average kid. Took baseball for a while from about when he was 9 till about 15 so he was in good shape. He signed up at the Budokan when he was 15. He took ninjutsu. Now this was only 2 years ago.

    We were both very aware of the UFC, Pride, MMA, and how most of these ancient "d3@dl3y" styles fall short. But no, he was utterly convinced that the teachers knew absolutely what he was doing. Why? Because the head instructor could do back flips like an XMA. How the **** did this give him creditability? Well you think about it, 15 year old boy wanting to learn to be a badass. They'd believe anything. So he took ninjutsu and I took some BJJ (I say some because I only rolled about once a week, and even that was inconsistent). So a year goes by and he's red belt. He's basically an official |33+ ninj3r. He decides that one hes gonna kick that **** out of some kid who was bothering him.

    In good sense I tell him to calm down and really think about what hes gonna do. He decides I'm just jealous of his l33+ skillz, BJJ is for fags, and that ninjas own all. Well... cant say I didn't warn him. The kid he's fighting is about 180 at 5'11. Hes in pretty good shape as well. Bob decides the fight should be held at the park. Me, Bob, the kid Bob is fighting and one of his friends come in the middle of the baseball field. Agree that no one will jump in and we will just let them do their thing. Heres how it went.

    Bob: *crappy wing chun straight punches in rapid fire mode*
    Guy: *throws over hand at Bob, and then knee's him once in the face*
    Bob: *wakes up in hospital with stitches from his nose to the end of the right cheek and a welt near his temple*

    Cute story. I take a leave from bullshido for a few months and people start posting crap like this? I call bullshit.

    I have been involved in fighting for about 20 years. I can't recall a single knee to the face tearing a gash from the nose to the end of the cheek. That would be about 17 to 20 stitches. You are young and the young are prone to embelshment...thats fine we all went through it at one point when we were young, but keep the fish tales off this site. Or prove me wrong and post photos. If "Guy" really has the knee of death, I will admit it. Putting that up without proof makes the whole story suspect.
    When You absolutely have to hide a body...try Alaska.
  2. romba_one is offline

    Featherweight

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    May 2004
    Location
    Wisconsin
    Posts
    37

    Posted On:
    7/28/2007 4:36pm

    Bullshido Newbie
     Style: just started grappling

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    For me:
    After about 10 beers one summer night in 2004 or 2005 at a BBQ, I was reluctantly "sparring" a guy in another friends back yard. Basicly he heard I was a former Aikidoist and he thought he could "punk" me the way he claimed he had "punked" as he put it, so many other MAist. It was several years of my Aikido and Combat Hapkido (stop laughing) vs. his Ninpo and JuJutsu which he was training obsessivly many hours a day almost every day.
    I got slapped and punched at first when I was tring to walk away knowing this could get well out of hand. Then I decided (maybe it was the beer that decided) I was not going to let this be a one sided demonstration of his "skills". We traded some lazy (drunken) punches and he switched to try and grab me for a throw. I broke free and backed him up a bit with some strikes and push kicks, steped in and half tripped half threw him to the ground with a crappy kokyu nage. I some how ended up with an arm around his neck while behind him (this is before I knew how to RNC), and him trying ineffectively to elbow my groin.
    We stopped at that point after another friend; who's house it was, knew it was going to go beyond what the Ning3r had billed as "sparring". It was after another few drinks and Mr. Ninpo's insitance how awsome Ninpo/ninjitsu and his Jujutsu (JJJ) was and how I should fight him at his dojo and come learn the "only real martial arts there is", that I hit a low point in my martial arts hobby. I became some what introspective while I pretended to listen to this pitch for how great Ninpo was.

    I realized:
    My Aikido would be too complex for a real fight, not to mention one where I had been drinking before hand. My go to move that night was some basic trips (kokyunage) I learned in aikido class, and modified in Combat Hapkido. What I did was nothing like the shiho nage I had so very much loved, nor was it any of the wrist locks I'd drilled for years. I had years of training with little to show or use when it came down to it.
    As I had suspected before and come to conclude, Ueshiba was crazy and treated with too much respect by his students, not many questioned him. The old man was or may have been a badass, but I needed something that could work for me. Riding on Ueshiba's nuts was not some thing I could live with. I wanted some thing that was real and I could use...that I could make work not something that was theroized to work. I decided then and there, drunk as hell, I'd try this grappling or BJJ I'd heard so much about. Now I'm pretty happy doing BJJ, and plan on doing it for some time to come.
  3. curveros is offline

    Registered Member

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    Jul 2007
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    120

    Posted On:
    7/28/2007 11:05pm


     Style: BJJ

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by romba_one
    For me:
    After about 10 beers one summer night in 2004 or 2005 at a BBQ, I was reluctantly "sparring" a guy in another friends back yard. Basicly he heard I was a former Aikidoist and he thought he could "punk" me the way he claimed he had "punked" as he put it, so many other MAist. It was several years of my Aikido and Combat Hapkido (stop laughing) vs. his Ninpo and JuJutsu which he was training obsessivly many hours a day almost every day.
    I got slapped and punched at first when I was tring to walk away knowing this could get well out of hand. Then I decided (maybe it was the beer that decided) I was not going to let this be a one sided demonstration of his "skills". We traded some lazy (drunken) punches and he switched to try and grab me for a throw. I broke free and backed him up a bit with some strikes and push kicks, steped in and half tripped half threw him to the ground with a crappy kokyu nage. I some how ended up with an arm around his neck while behind him (this is before I knew how to RNC), and him trying ineffectively to elbow my groin.
    We stopped at that point after another friend; who's house it was, knew it was going to go beyond what the Ning3r had billed as "sparring". It was after another few drinks and Mr. Ninpo's insitance how awsome Ninpo/ninjitsu and his Jujutsu (JJJ) was and how I should fight him at his dojo and come learn the "only real martial arts there is", that I hit a low point in my martial arts hobby. I became some what introspective while I pretended to listen to this pitch for how great Ninpo was.

    I realized:
    My Aikido would be too complex for a real fight, not to mention one where I had been drinking before hand. My go to move that night was some basic trips (kokyunage) I learned in aikido class, and modified in Combat Hapkido. What I did was nothing like the shiho nage I had so very much loved, nor was it any of the wrist locks I'd drilled for years. I had years of training with little to show or use when it came down to it.
    As I had suspected before and come to conclude, Ueshiba was crazy and treated with too much respect by his students, not many questioned him. The old man was or may have been a badass, but I needed something that could work for me. Riding on Ueshiba's nuts was not some thing I could live with. I wanted some thing that was real and I could use...that I could make work not something that was theroized to work. I decided then and there, drunk as hell, I'd try this grappling or BJJ I'd heard so much about. Now I'm pretty happy doing BJJ, and plan on doing it for some time to come.
    what part of wisconsin you in? i'm in milwaukee
  4. Necroth is offline

    Registered Member

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    Jul 2007
    Location
    Fairbanks AK
    Posts
    598

    Posted On:
    7/29/2007 3:36am


     Style: Vale Tudo

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    15 years old, Shotokan and Okinawa-te (as relayed to me by instructor, couldn't tell the difference between that and a paper bag at the time) training has been commenced for nigh on a year. I am challenged in English class...well, not challenged so much as maligned by a very moody football player. Quarterback. I am a linebacker. I'm bigger and stronger, surely I can beat him.

    Wrong.

    We postpone the festivities until 8th period (this was 7th period English, 8th was Athletics/Football practice) and decide to do-tha-damn-thing in locker room. I change into athletic gear, he is still in t-shirt and cargo pants. Again, things are looking up for me, as my d34dly k1ckz are unleashable in breathable cotton shorts! Yay!

    Wrong.

    He pushes me, I push him, he punches my face. I fall. He sits on me and punches half-heartedly until I shove him over and stand. I punch him when he stands. A screw punch from the hip. It should have broken his bamboo armor, just as the Okinawan fighting forms have done for centuries against Samurai in blah blah blahblahblah. Again I am floored and punched and that's the end of that.

    I ditched Shotokan, tried Choy Li Fut Kung Fu a year os so later. It sucked too. In the military I trained with some Kodokan Judoka, very fun but I saw very little useage at the time as they only ever trained throws with gi and little else. Trained with Tomiki Aikidoka (their assertion, I couldn't have told you if they really were) but they were too busy lauding Randori and training compliant throws. I thought it was decidedly useless.

    Took some years off from actual training, deciding to research MA as a whole to look for something less TMA Bullshido, more useful and enjoyable. In 2001 found Muay Thai. And then BJJ, especially no-gi grappling. Have never looked back.

    *hangs head in shame for remembering that moment when he learned that all those movies weren't real...such a sad day for me...and Chuck Norris*
  5. Black 6 is offline

    Registered Member

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    Apr 2004
    Location
    New York, NY
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    233

    Posted On:
    7/29/2007 5:35am


     Style: Taijutsu, Army Combatives

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by Khun Kao
    Milton
    Nope, not the dude. The one I knew was named Leonard.

    It actually kind of worries me that there is more than one guy like this.
  6. Black 6 is offline

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    Location
    New York, NY
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    233

    Posted On:
    7/29/2007 6:11am


     Style: Taijutsu, Army Combatives

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by Zaii
    ....and so one day six months into my stint with bujinkan training, our instructor took us out to the woods for "stealth". Up to this point I had been collecting various doubts over time as to the validity of the "art". A ridiculous stance here, poorly used and out of context japanese, a counter-intuitive strike there, and most of all the fact that when they paired me up with the guy in the class who had about 100 lbs on me, 99% of the material failed to work remotely, I still hadn't closed the book on it altogether, as I'd never taken another martial art, and hey, the breakfalls were practical....right?

    For the first hour we all spent the time( I kid you not) literally playing hide and go seek, with the instructor as the seeker.....but ofcourse it all had a very serious and "mystical" bearing, according to him.

    The second hour consisted of learning how to throw hollow eggs full of baby powder at each other, which he lumped under metsubushi. Now, I'm sure the common sense act of "pick it up - then throw it" has been in pretty much every culture, but when I asked the instructor how this would ever come into use for me, as I couldn't think of a situation where I'd have the time, materials, or motivation to fashion and carry hollow powder-filled eggs, he launched into a diatribe about appreciation of culture, and expecting the unexpected, and added at the end a tid bit about how I could "use these same techniques with dirt, gravel, or (in his attempt to be 'hip') a beer bottle", to which I queried, "then why aren't we using dirt or gravel?", at which point he abruptly changed the subject.

    The third hour was when my logic finally emerged victorious from the massive pile of bullshit I had been burying it under for the last six months. For a while we were doing what he called randori, but what was more like pretending to be power rangers out in the woods, as we were "freely sparring" but all clearly holding back, as we had been trained to do. There was a lot of flipping, and it was kind of fun honestly, in that it was cool to be a 5 year old again for a few minutes, but it became utterly absurd when I was paired with an 11 year old kid, and I realized that we were all kidding ourselves.

    The sweet icing on the cake (or nail in the coffin, whichever one floats your boat) was when the instructor disappeared into the woods, then re-emerged in his "full historical outfit", head to toe draped in black, with tabi and what amounted to a glorified ski mask. Some small part of me wanted to believe that I hadn't just wasted six months of my life and over half a thousand dollars on complete and total role playing, so instead of leaving, I tried to participate in what happened next, which the only fitting words for are downright fucking ridiculous.

    He had everyone in the class surround him, and then once he had gotten into his "crane stance", he encouraged us to "attack at will". At this point, in typical kung fu movie style, we came at him one at a time, with large, swooping, sloppy overhand rights (I like to call this "the redneck right hook") or awkward crescent kicks, he proceeded to "dispatch" us in a dominating fashion. After he had thoroughly established his knowledge of deadly fighting technique, he invited us to all attack him at once. You can fill in the rest.
    It's funny, because in dojo that I first trained in, we also went out to the woods to do some training. You have to realize that this was New York City, so when I say "woods" I mean Prospect Park, which is in Brooklyn.

    Anyway, we also did he stealth training (walking and crawling). I actually found this useful later in Ranger School during the recon training missions.

    We didn't do metsubushi. Learned a couple of good things, though, like screams don't carry well in the woods, which is why we carried whistles in case of injury.

    However, we did do sentry take out, which was a bit like what I would later do when I went to the academy. However, for a lot of my training that day, I was paired up a friend of mine who was a Marine Scout Sniper. Let's just say that he was already good at a lot of stuff.

    Anyway, I'm practicing getting behind him and taking him to the ground, and as I do it, he sees a group of people nearby, and decides to start making noises for help (I had my hand over his mouth, so it was muffled screams). Thank goodness that area of Brooklyn was mostly Italian (and therefore people were more in tune to violence by that group). If we had been in Central Park, black guy jumping a white guy would have probably gotten me beaten by bystanders.
    Last edited by Black 6; 7/29/2007 9:44am at .
  7. Tinkebell is offline

    Featherweight

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    Jul 2007
    Location
    South East Australia
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    35

    Posted On:
    7/29/2007 6:28am

    Bullshido Newbie
     Style: Judo

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    I used to do some wing chun, Bill Cheung lineage I think, with some other stuff (don't ask me about it now). I'd done a few years of boxing and kickboxing, as well as about 5 years of judo by this time. I went because it was walking distance from my house, cheap and was a nice light workout after dinner.

    One night while walking home in the dark after a wing shun session I was startled by a wombat crashing out of the scrub onto the road (I live near the boundary of a few thousand square kms of state forest) and went into some kind of horse riding stance with wing chun center defence hand positions.

    I was so ashamed.
  8. Necroth is offline

    Registered Member

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    Jul 2007
    Location
    Fairbanks AK
    Posts
    598

    Posted On:
    7/29/2007 7:22am


     Style: Vale Tudo

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    _ing _un stories are always so funny. They often involve wild animals and being ashamed. It takes a big man to admit when a wild animal scares the _ing _un out of him.
  9. Tinkebell is offline

    Featherweight

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    Jul 2007
    Location
    South East Australia
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    35

    Posted On:
    7/29/2007 7:30am

    Bullshido Newbie
     Style: Judo

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    I've seen wombats take out a car, they're a force to be rekonned with.

    Many men aspire to be like them here, because all a wombat does is eat, roots and leaves.
  10. Zaii is offline

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    Jul 2006
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    184

    Posted On:
    7/29/2007 11:09am


     Style: crappling

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by Black 6
    It's funny, because in dojo that I first trained in, we also went out to the woods to do some training. You have to realize that this was New York City, so when I say "woods" I mean Prospect Park, which is in Brooklyn.

    Anyway, we also did he stealth training (walking and crawling). I actually found this useful later in Ranger School during the recon training missions.

    We didn't do metsubushi. Learned a couple of good things, though, like screams don't carry well in the woods, which is why we carried whistles in case of injury.

    However, we did do sentry take out, which was a bit like what I would later do when I went to the academy. However, for a lot of my training that day, I was paired up a friend of mine who was a Marine Scout Sniper. Let's just say that he was already good at a lot of stuff.

    Anyway, I'm practicing getting behind him and taking him to the ground, and as I do it, he sees a group of people nearby, and decides to start making noises for help (I had my hand over his mouth, so it was muffled screams). Thank goodness that area of Brooklyn was mostly Italian (and therefore people were more in tune to violence by that group). If we had been in Central Park, black guy jumping a white guy would have probably gotten me beaten by bystanders.
    Please tell me you're joking.
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