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  1. #11
    SFGOON's Avatar
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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by Ming Loyalist
    carry around a sock with a roll of quarters. unlike a black jack, it's not a weapon, you were "just going to do my laundry, officer, i swear!"
    What a ***** you are! We all know that real men carry a sleeping bag full of anvils and tell the cops that they're going to go spend the night at the local blacksmith's.

    BlackJacks are for punks, as are saps, shivs, "push knives," brass knuckles, batons, flashlights, kubotans, cheap tazers, switchblades, etc.

    That being said, what I prefer to do is get potato and wedge an array of razor blades into it, blade end out. Then, when someone gives me trouble or I'm approached by a homeless person or another teenager, I throw it in their face! I carry a lot of them and tell the cops that the grocer put my razors in the same bag as my taters and I got hit by a semi on my way home from the grocery store.

  2. #12
    BackFistMonkey's Avatar
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    lol yet again more Judo !
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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by SFGOON
    That being said, what I prefer to do is get potato and wedge an array of razor blades into it, blade end out. Then, when someone gives me trouble or I'm approached by a homeless person or another teenager, I throw it in their face! I carry a lot of them and tell the cops that the grocer put my razors in the same bag as my taters and I got hit by a semi on my way home from the grocery store.

    I mount my potatoes n razors on the end of a ruler so I can maintain a safe distance while defending myself from the disillusioned youth .
    Quote Originally Posted by ghost55 View Post
    Violence is pretty uncommon in clubs in this area, and the dude didn't seem particularly hostile up until the moment he slapped me.
    I don't mean to sound bitter, cold, or cruel, but I am, so that's how it comes out.
    BILL HICKS,
    1961-1994

    Quote Originally Posted by WFMurphyPhD View Post
    Slamming the man in the bottom position from time to time keeps everybody on their toes and discourages butt scooting stupidity.

  3. #13
    SFGOON's Avatar
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    In the winter, I cleverly conceal my razor blade tater in a snowball!! That way, when the cops ask why I'm carrying a clip full of snowballs, I can just say I'm going to a snowball fight and there ain't nothin they can do about it as it is my constitutional right to go to snowball fights without being hassled by the man.

  4. #14

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    Proudly Shaolin Do.
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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by SFGOON
    What a ***** you are! We all know that real men carry a sleeping bag full of anvils and tell the cops that they're going to go spend the night at the local blacksmith's.

    BlackJacks are for punks, as are saps, shivs, "push knives," brass knuckles, batons, flashlights, kubotans, cheap tazers, switchblades, etc.

    That being said, what I prefer to do is get potato and wedge an array of razor blades into it, blade end out. Then, when someone gives me trouble or I'm approached by a homeless person or another teenager, I throw it in their face! I carry a lot of them and tell the cops that the grocer put my razors in the same bag as my taters and I got hit by a semi on my way home from the grocery store.



    that is the best paragraph I've ever read, I applaud you

  5. #15

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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    the quarters in sock thing works. ten bucks worth of quarters in a sock will **** a dude up.

    also a pack of marble shooters in a sock will **** someone up as well.

  6. #16
    SFGOON's Avatar
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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    And a bunch of M-1 Abrams Tanks wrapped up in a circus tent will REALLY do the job, you noodle armed weiner!!!

    edit: You could tell the 5-0 that you're a circus clown on the way to a military reenactment of the Gulf War !

  7. #17
    Permalost's Avatar
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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    SFGOON wins this thread, unless somebody posts a vid of swinging a sleeping bag full of anvils.

  8. #18

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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by Robot Jesus

    I was playing with my key chain the other day and noticed that it may make a somewhat serviceable blackjack, although at just under 4 oz, it appears that it would not be useful in that function.
    A keychain is closer to being a slungshot than a blackjack. A 4oz slungshot can do some damage, but needs to be on a long chain or rope to be effective(Centrifugal force). A blackjack is a weight attached to a spring. It is the spring action that makes for the power in a small package,

    Of course, if like SGT GOON , you have daily access to an Abrams tank, or even a second hand Sherman, a blackjack/slungshot/sap/monkeyfist is a poor choice.

  9. #19

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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by CodosDePiedra
    SFGOON wins this thread, unless somebody posts a vid of swinging a sleeping bag full of anvils.

    Agreed.:bowdown:

  10. #20
    Gopu's Avatar
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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Apparently a D cell battery in a bandana is enough to make a bouncer afraid of a scrawny punk (from the story I heard). Blackjacks/makeshift blackjacks seem like one of the best weapons to carry overall.

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