May 2007: Otoya Yamaguchi - A REAL Ninja

Phrost · 6/02/2007 1:41pm

Our Badass of the Month section has been up and running since December 2006 and we've compiled an illustrious group of individuals who have accomplished feats of badassery.

And with the exception of the controversy surrounding "Bloody Bill" Anderson, all of the people on the list have been men (and potentially women, down the road) that you can look up to.

But badassery is not always a judgement of one's moral fiber as much as it is their character, and not even so much that as it is a judgement of their actions. So with that said, and May being "Ninjas Suck" month, we're going to award the Bad ************ Wallet, posthumously, to Otoya Yamaguchi.

For using a freaking sword to assassinate someone

Now we're not talking about feudal Japan here folks, where people got stabby with it all the time as a matter of business. We're talking about 1960 in the age of broadcast television, mini skirts, jet aeroplanes, and Tang. The Beatles were just a few years shy of exploding all over the face of American pop culture, and monkeys were orbiting the planet in space. Not the Monkeys, who were a rip-off of the Beatles, but they should have sent those bastards into space too. I digress.

So when the 17-year-old, ultranationalist Yamaguchi decided to off the japanahippy Socialist party leader Inejiro Asanuma, he could have chosen to use a gun to shoot him from several hundred yards away. Or he could have run him over in a car. Or he could have crash-landed a rocketship on him.

But instead of those high-tech assassination methods, Otoya (known by his friends as "Otto"1) decided to "Keep it Real" and stick to his roots. He chose to use a shortened version of a Katana (dosu), to prick the prick, in front of a live studio audience. And thus, the first reality TV show was born: Who Wants to Be a Ninja? It was a short-lived series (all of 30 seconds), but Otoya was the clear winner and got to vote his rival, Asanuma, off the island of life.

We here at Bullshido do not condone murder, or assassination, or even drowning puppies in the lake in a taped-up shoebox. But what we do endorse is people finding creative uses for their Martial Arts skills. And after all, what could be a more creative way of using the Martial Arts than to actually employ a katana for something other than decorating your room next to your Sailor Moon posters or playing out your fantasy of being a 400 year old Scot with a ponytail?

In the end, he was sent to a juvenille detention facility, where he used toothpaste to blog on the wall of his cell a poem about the emperor, before hanging himself. How emo.

So here's to you Otto Yamaguchi. The atomic bomb might have changed the landscape of Japan, but you kept true to its roots. At least with the whole using-swords-to-stab-people bit.

1. Completely pulled out of my ass. Hell, they probably called him "teeny winky" which caused his compulsion for sticking objects into people.

2. You think we're lying about this? Here's the damn video!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D4KROpdUkrM

It even features a cameo by Mickey Rooney reprising his character of Mr. Yunioshi from Breakfast at Tiffany's.

**Stick** · Posted On: 6/02/2007 2:46pm

I shouldn't be laughing so hard, but I am.

Emo poetry, reality TV, a rocket ship- oh god the LuLz!

/seppuku

**BlackStalyon** · Posted On: 6/02/2007 5:27pm

Great read. The picture does not seem to add up with the video though. Angles weird I guess.

**Stick** · Posted On: 6/02/2007 6:05pm

Camera man has a different view of things from the video camera. Im guessing that picture is of the blade coming out

**fanger123** · Posted On: 6/03/2007 9:09am

hmm.

i disagree with this a lot. the guy is a political assasin. he murdered the other guy (if i recall, he died of his wounds).

weren't ultranationalists also responsible for participating WW2? is this the kind of person we can "look up to"?

despite your disclaimer, i find this disturbing.

**Phrost** · Posted On: 6/03/2007 10:11am

You're not supposed to look up to these guys. The fact that you could isn't relevant.

**h_sh_m** · Posted On: 6/03/2007 1:25pm

this was a dumb choice phrost.

what seemed to be a decent old man trying to speaking out for positive change (progressive economic reforms) got sucker-(stabbed) by a weak, immature emo-LARPer for espousing a racist ideology because he can't deal with his own petty insecurities. About as much bushido as Ashida Kim hitting you in the back of the head with a brick and running away.

It always sucks when someone trying to be strong falls victim to the weakness of some useless idiot. I mean seriously who's the next badass? The Virginia tech shooter? It *is* RBSD month.

**Stick** · Posted On: 6/03/2007 2:37pm

h_sh_m, check out the April selection.

Also, punch yourself in the eye once for me.

**Phrost** · Posted On: 6/03/2007 3:31pm

Originally Posted by h_sh_m

this was a dumb choice phrost.

what seemed to be a decent old man trying to speaking out for positive change (progressive economic reforms) got sucker-(stabbed) by a weak, immature emo-LARPer for espousing a racist ideology because he can't deal with his own petty insecurities. About as much bushido as Ashida Kim hitting you in the back of the head with a brick and running away.

It always sucks when someone trying to be strong falls victim to the weakness of some useless idiot. I mean seriously who's the next badass? The Virginia tech shooter? It *is* RBSD month.

This section is not for SERIOUS BUSINESS. Find your heroes on your own; a badass isn't necessarily going to be one of them. How many times does it need to be stated that this is "Badass of the Month", not "Knight in Shining Armor of the Month"?

If this article offends you, then it wasn't written for you.

**bwdillon** · Posted On: 6/03/2007 3:37pm

yous guys are just a bunch moralist babies, most badasses are bad people. At least most of the ones I can think of. Since when did being badass become a synonym for role model or comic book super hero?

IMO good choice Phrost!