Posted On:5/31/2007 7:18pm
Thanks Shin, your stories are TOO AWESOME!!!! Are you by any chance secretly Joe Rogan? He's the only other guy I've ever heard of who's as funny as you are.
Posted On:6/01/2007 2:56pm
I know you feel violated. I know you feel wronged. I sincerely apologize from the bottom of my heart. I should have been here. I shouldn't have been out training while Uncle Pete ripped sheets from your ordained spirals and wiped his ass with them. I would have rather him used my gi. I've told him for the last three days that we were about to run out of toilet paper and he never listened. I suppose that's what happens when you leave an alcoholic to do things for himself. He definitely has no place in the Nintenjutsu Ryu.
God, what is wrong with me? I can't even defend my own diary. NO!! I cannot think like that. Must train harder, must meditate. Moving on...
The Tapout asshole was at it again today. He hit me in the back with an apple core as I was duck walking across the asphalt. I instinctively reached for my shurikens, but his girlfriend was sitting behind him. He saw my move and stood up and slapped his chest and stuck his chin in the air. I went elsewhere and resumed my training.
*sigh* His girlfriend's name is LeTrene. She is so beautiful. I'm waiting until he goes over to Chank's RV to "smoke a bowl" as he puts it. I'll slip the mix tape to her then. It has some really good Hawthorne Heights on there, too. Maybe she's wanna come over. Uncle Pete has been passing out at about 8 every night. I'm pretty sure I can just drape a blanket over him and she and I can hang out on the sofa.
I'll pack some extra pepper bombs tonight just in case we get caught. I'll let you know how it goes, Diary.
Keep it Ninjizzle.
Here, hold these for me.
Posted On:6/01/2007 3:05pm
Style: jkd concepts
some people just don't get "IT".
"The seventh law of thermodynamics is that every time a fat person gets near a trapdoor, they fall in. Itís the closest thing we have to scientific proof of God."
Posted On:6/01/2007 4:20pm
Style: Bok Fu Do
Welcome back, Shin! I have to admit that I wasted not nearly enough of my employer's time laughing my ass off as I read the previous Diaries...stoked that you've returned for more ninja awesomeness.
Keep it ninja.
Posted On:6/02/2007 1:56pm
I ventured into town the other day to get some supplies, and ran into a guy who was wearing a Wing Chun t-shirt. I asked him about his art and he invited me to come train. I told him I didn't need training, and that I was a Grandmaster, but alright. Maybe I could school them.
So I hopped on Uncle Pete's Vespa and went there yesterday. Let me tell you, those guys have w1cked fast hands. If I didn't have the ability to slow down time, it would have been too fast for me. I'm letting their instructor teach me their fast hand ways, in exchange for Ninjato lessons. We'll both be even more deadly.
Uncle pete has also been showing me some of the government's most secret and deadly military hand-to-hand combat stuff. He even lets me practice it on him after his Trazodones kick in. IT's h3lla sweet. He's shown me this one move where the guy stabs in at you with his bayonet, and you twist his rifle up in his arms, breaking both his arms with the sling. We tried it with a stick and a string tied to each end. It looked like it would really work if it were an actual rifle with its sling. He's also been teaching me some uber-deadly strikes where you scratch your anus and then dig your nails into your opponent's face. Gives them a w1cked infection, he says.
I think I'm gonna try and snake some of the Wing Chun guy's students to join the Nintenjutsu Ryu. A few of them would be definitely interested. One kid shows up to class with a bokken. He doesn't use it during class...he just brings it. I think he's probably waiting for someone to come along and teach him how to use it with fatal efficiency...the way a Ninja would.
Anywayz, I'm out for now.
Keep It N1NJA.
Woke up in the mortuary
Posted On:6/02/2007 5:43pm
Style: Judo, Sub wrestling
He's also been teaching me some uber-deadly strikes where you scratch your anus and then dig your nails into your opponent's face. Gives them a w1cked infection, he says.
Just waiting for the paperboy.
Posted On:6/02/2007 6:53pm
this is really amusing...keep it going.
Posted On:6/03/2007 5:30pm
Style: drunken bjj
LMAO. your stories are fucking awesome Shin.
keep up the good work!
Sexiest Punching Bag Alive
Posted On:6/03/2007 8:09pm
I"m glad its back.
Posted On:6/04/2007 12:51am
Originally Posted by FictionPimp
I"m glad its back.
the guy's a fucking genius.
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