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  1. #1
    Mercurius's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2002
    Posts
    1,468
    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    As a traditional martial artist and a small, Asian man, I'd like to think my training prepares me to defend myself against significantly larger opponents.

    However, I have trouble believing that sometimes, and in the event that I was ever attacked by Mr. Sapp (or a man of similar stature), I have decided to supplement my training with lessons in modern systems that will, undoubtedly, prepare me for such a situation.

    First, American Batto-jutsu (aluminum style):


    Then, if that doesn't work, I'll use my own style of Glock-ryu Gun Fu:


    After that, regardless of the result, I will be putting my mastery of Nikejutsu to good use:


    Anyone else with their own martial arts that would be effective in a similar situation is invited to comment.

    --------------------
    And that's what I call REAL Ultimate Power!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    "The morning glory blooms for an hour. It differs not at heart from the giant pine, which lives for a thousand years."

  2. #2

    Join Date
    Sep 2002
    Posts
    48
    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Daisy Cutter-Do

  3. #3

    Join Date
    May 2002
    Posts
    199
    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    I'd definitely use Track and Field.

  4. #4

    Join Date
    Aug 2002
    Posts
    112
    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    I'd through a steak at him and run away.

  5. #5
    Gezere's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2002
    Location
    Rhineland Pfalz, Der Vaderland
    Posts
    10,579
    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    HA I could take Bob Sapp

    He only bigger, stronger, and probably meaner (naw I think I got him on the last one!!!)

    Matter of fact I am going to go talk about his momma to his face (just got to remeber where I put those brass knuckles and my tazer.)

    Xiao Ao Jiang Hu Zhi Dong Fang Bu Bai (Laughing Proud Warrior Invinsible Asia) Emporer of Baji!!! THE FIRST LINE OF DEFENSE AGAINST THE UNITED AUSSIE FRONT!!
    ______
    Xiao Ao Jiang Hu Zhi Dong Fang Bu Bai (Laughing Proud Warrior Invincible Asia) Dark Emperor of Baji!!!

    RIP SOLDIER

    Didn't anyone ever tell him a fat man could never be a ninja
    -Gene, GODHAND

    You can't practice Judo just to win a Judo Match! You practice so that no matter what happens, you can win using Judo!
    The key to fighting two men at once is to be much tougher than both of them.
    -Daniel Tosh

  6. #6

    Join Date
    Sep 2002
    Posts
    20
    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    I'd take a semi, and run his ass over if I had to fight him.

    Lets face it, if I took any smaller of a vehicle he'd probably destroy it....

    Bob Sapp vs the Geo Metro....

  7. #7
    9chambers
    Guest
    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    did you know they have stun guns now that shoot out a stream of water like a super soaker? The current is in the stream of water and it shocks them. I was reading about it here:

    http://www.howstuffworks.com/stun-gun4.htm

  8. #8
    9chambers
    Guest
    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    did you know they have stun guns now that shoot out a stream of water like a super soaker? The current is in the stream of water and it shocks them. I was reading about it here:

    http://www.howstuffworks.com/stun-gun4.htm

  9. #9

    Join Date
    Sep 2002
    Posts
    18
    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Bob Sagett? That skinny little guy from Full House? I would just push him in the garbage.

  10. #10
    Mercurius's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2002
    Posts
    1,468
    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    No, no, not skinny white guy, large black guy.

    I could have found a better picture, but I think this one pretty adequately captures the "HOLY **** run away" kind of feeling Bob Sapp inspires in people.

    --------------------
    And that's what I call REAL Ultimate Power!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    "The morning glory blooms for an hour. It differs not at heart from the giant pine, which lives for a thousand years."

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