What martial art would you use vs. Bob Sapp?

**Mercurius** · Posted On: 9/20/2002 11:06am

As a traditional martial artist and a small, Asian man, I'd like to think my training prepares me to defend myself against significantly larger opponents.

However, I have trouble believing that sometimes, and in the event that I was ever attacked by Mr. Sapp (or a man of similar stature), I have decided to supplement my training with lessons in modern systems that will, undoubtedly, prepare me for such a situation.

First, American Batto-jutsu (aluminum style):

Then, if that doesn't work, I'll use my own style of Glock-ryu Gun Fu:

After that, regardless of the result, I will be putting my mastery of Nikejutsu to good use:

Anyone else with their own martial arts that would be effective in a similar situation is invited to comment.

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And that's what I call REAL Ultimate Power!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**Mr. Manfredsengenten** · Posted On: 9/20/2002 11:25am

Daisy Cutter-Do

**Admin-Temp** · Posted On: 9/20/2002 12:24pm

I'd definitely use Track and Field.

**Sucka_MC** · Posted On: 9/20/2002 12:59pm

I'd through a steak at him and run away.

**Gezere** · Posted On: 9/20/2002 1:27pm

HA I could take Bob Sapp

He only bigger, stronger, and probably meaner (naw I think I got him on the last one!!!)

Matter of fact I am going to go talk about his momma to his face (just got to remeber where I put those brass knuckles and my tazer.)

Xiao Ao Jiang Hu Zhi Dong Fang Bu Bai (Laughing Proud Warrior Invinsible Asia) Emporer of Baji!!! THE FIRST LINE OF DEFENSE AGAINST THE UNITED AUSSIE FRONT!!

**owlex** · Posted On: 9/20/2002 5:38pm

I'd take a semi, and run his ass over if I had to fight him.

Lets face it, if I took any smaller of a vehicle he'd probably destroy it....

Bob Sapp vs the Geo Metro....

9chambers · Posted On: 9/21/2002 3:59am

did you know they have stun guns now that shoot out a stream of water like a super soaker? The current is in the stream of water and it shocks them. I was reading about it here:

http://www.howstuffworks.com/stun-gun4.htm

9chambers · Posted On: 9/21/2002 3:59am

did you know they have stun guns now that shoot out a stream of water like a super soaker? The current is in the stream of water and it shocks them. I was reading about it here:

http://www.howstuffworks.com/stun-gun4.htm

**aaronharmon** · Posted On: 9/23/2002 2:51pm

Bob Sagett? That skinny little guy from Full House? I would just push him in the garbage.

**Mercurius** · Posted On: 9/23/2002 11:21pm

No, no, not skinny white guy, large black guy.

I could have found a better picture, but I think this one pretty adequately captures the "HOLY **** run away" kind of feeling Bob Sapp inspires in people.

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And that's what I call REAL Ultimate Power!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!