Posted On:5/16/2007 2:55am
Style: I request to be banned
The most I have ever really pwned anyone was usually because they really sucked. Your basic roundhouse to the face or kimura in the the first 15 seconds, but noone **** their pants or screamed like a girl, unfortunately. Tell your pwnage stories here. The funnier, the better.
Posted On:5/16/2007 3:07am
I tapped someone out with a wrestling cradle.
You're a scrapper, I like that."-Ronin69
Posted On:5/16/2007 3:19am
Style: Muay Thai/BJJ
i've had a guy (noob) on the point of crying in BJJ, his bottom lip was wobbling and he was seconds away from blubbing. pretty much all i did was held him in side control and cross faced him and he was just getting dead frustrated, which was making me laugh. and i am beyond **** at BJJ, so god knows what he would have been like if he had roled with someone decent.
also, this isnt exactly a pwnage story but i just thought i'd chuck this in: this guy turned up recently, fat greasy lad giving it the big one about how he had been in new york "training with Renzo" (he had like 2 privates with him or something). He's telling me this in the changing room and as he's yapping, he pulls his gi out of his bag.
it was bright orange.
Where the **** did you get that, i asked him? he said he bought it at renzo's academy and it was just a plain white one but he dyed it "to make it different". Now i dont know about you, but the first time i go to a new gym i dont want to be pushing my "differentnes" at everyone.
So he throws it on and wanders out on the mat where everyone was warming up and the whole group stops in its tracks, laughing like **** while the instructor takes the piss and the whole time this guy is trying to go on about renzo and "yeah at least i dont look the same as everyone else". people were queuing up to roll with this dick and he was getting smashed all night. He too looked like he was ready to cry and after that class he was never seen again. what an arsehole.
Posted On:5/16/2007 4:43am
I don't know if this is the worse, but by far the most memorable pwnage.
It was to be a friendly bit of rolling, with 2 on me. It was supposed to be based on something that had happened at work, and was to test their skills not mine ( I'm the bad guy who loses).
Despite starting on all fours, with the first one trying to headlock me, 30 seconds later I was on my back trying to choke the first dude out with a bad triangle, and I'd apparantly split the nose of the second dude when I was trying to grab his head from behind me, and was trying to feel for where'd he'd gone. Idiot didn't take his glasses off and it cut straight through into the skin. Has a nice little scar there for everyone to see.
Still sort of cracks me up. I can't believe how badly they both fucked up. I didn't even know any BBJ at that point.
Last edited by BloodMagus; 5/16/2007 4:46am at .
Posted On:5/16/2007 5:48am
Meh, this is how I got pwned rather than me pwning someone but it's still good. I was rolling with someone a fair bit bigger than me with about equal experience. I was turtled and he managed to get one hook in but not the other. I was looking for space, trying to work my way round into guard when he starts going for my other leg with his arms. I don't really know what he's doing so I keep working for guard. Suddenly, he rolls over with me on top of him and starts pulling my legs apart! He's got one of my legs between his legs and he's holding the other and pulling them apart! I tapped out fairly quick. Turns out this move is called a "banana split." Maybe that's common knowledge among the experienced grapplers here but I'd never even heard of it before that night. It was really fucking surprising.
Dedicated to legs and the disrespecting thereof.
Posted On:5/16/2007 6:16am
Style: BJJ / freestyle wrestling
blocked his knee with my mouth, i'm that bad ass. followed it up by forcing him to wrap his arm around my neck from behind, and make him apply pressure, just so he could feel how strong my neck was. then i tapped, you know, so as not to kill him.
I'd like to leave this world like I came into it: Screaming, naked & covered in someone else's blood
Posted On:5/16/2007 6:27am
Style: Muay Thai (BJJ hiatus)
I stepped back when someone tried to front kick me. He was leaning back too far and slipped, landed on his hand and broke his wrist.
Surely I win the thread because I didn't even touch him!
" The reason elite level MMAists don't fight with aikido is the same reason elite level swimmers don't swim with their lips." - Virus
" I shocked him with my skills on the ice becuase Wing Chun is great for hockey fighting." - 'Sifu' Milt Wallace
"Besides, as you might already know (from Virus, for example) - there's only 1 wing chun and it sucks big time" - Tonuzaba
"Even when I'm promising mayhem and butt-chicanery, I'm generally posting with a smile on my face." - Sochin101
"That said, if he blocked my hip on a drop nage, I would extend my leg into a drop tai Otoshi and slam him so hard his parents would die." - MTripp
and good morning to you too
Posted On:5/16/2007 6:54am
I broke a guys ribs with a knee.
You can't make people smarter. You can expose them to information, but your responsibility stops there.
Posted On:5/16/2007 9:06am
Style: Kajukenbo / Judo / IKEA
I was grappling with this guy with really short, strong legs. I had his leg extended but wasn't in the right position for a knee bar or ankle lock. While I was trying to get a better position he told me "you are never going to get my leg" I don't know what the move is called but I ended up rotating the bottom of his leg holding onto the bottom of his foot and his calf (guess this would put pressure on the knee?) until he tapped.
Fear the weasels
Fear the gay pirate
Me caught Spinning at work
"Do not be afraid. With my nipples I will suckle each of you with arcane knowledge passed down for generations." -Ashida Kim (Phrost)
Posted On:5/16/2007 9:18am
Gladiators Academy Lafayette, LA Style: Judo, MMA, White Trash JJ
Guy shows up one day ready to train MMA. No prior training but everyone all together now "has been in a lot of street fights". Get through warm ups and technical stuff start rolling. Round 1 he goes with one of the guys and is stopping every minute to catch his breath. Round 2 comes to me and I slap triangles on him about every 30 seconds. Halfway through he is outside throwing his guts up. While this is nothing new with the "street fighters" he calls 911 and gets an ambulance to come and take him to the hospital.
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