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  1. Wounded Ronin is offline
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    ...is THE PENETRATOR

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    Posted On:
    4/24/2007 9:19pm

    supporting member
     Style: German longsword, .45 ACP

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!

    Comedy: exerpt from "Karate Club: Fight For Honor"

    Owing to a very random set of circumstances I now have sitting on this desk a copy of Carin Greenberg Baker's "Karate Club: Fight For Honor". It's about a kid who goes to a typical McDojo and how he deals with a school bully. I figure it's reasonable as youth fiction in the sense that it has good character development and deals with issues that real kids deal with but of course since it essentially subscribes to a McDojo view of the martial arts probably a lot of people on this board would object to it. :bully:

    I'm applying bold to things that strike me as being amusing.

    This was it. Lee's imaginary opponent was about to become real. And, much to his amazement, he wasn't nervous like he'd been earlier. His heart was beating at normal speed, his head was clear, his muscles were relaxed. He didn't feel angry or tense.

    "I'm ready," Lee said calmly.

    Jason held his arms out on either side of him and tilted his head back. "Go ahead," he said. "Punch me, little guy. Take the first shot."

    Lee didn't take offense at Jason's insult. It was almost like lee's mind was somewhere else, in a quiet, peaceful place where words couldn't reach him. "I've already told you I can't do that," Lee said.

    "Oh, that's right!" Jason said, putting his palm against his forehead, pretending he'd forgotten. "You're a karate man. But what are we going to do, then? We don't want my fans to miss the grand finale!"

    Lee said nothing but held his ground.

    "Okay, have it your way," Jason said. "If the only way you'll fight me is karate-style, then I guess that's what we'll have to do."

    Without any warning, Jason then ran at Lee with a fake sounding kiai. "Haaaaa!" he shouted. His leg flew upward, though it was straight and stiff, more like a football kick than a karate kick.

    Smoothly, and without thought, Lee stepped to the side. He grabbed Jason's extended leg and yanked it upward, knocking Jason off balance. Jason fell falt on his backl to the laughter of several boys watching. Lee lunged forward into a low stance to follow up with a punch to the nose, but Jason quickly rolled out of the way and jumped to his feet. He held his clenched fists up in front of his face like a boxer, leaving his rib cage exposed.

    Seeing an opening, Lee shouted, "I'll show you the real way to kick!" and stepped in with a front kick to Jason's short ribs, snapping his back leg back instantly, before Jason could grab it. Jason couldn't have grabbed it anyway, though, because he doubled over, gasping for breath.

    "Yay!" Jeremy started to shout, but before the word had left his lips, Jason had straightened up and landed a solid punch in Lee's chest, followed by one to the stomach. Lee tried to block, but the weight of Jason's body gave his punches a force Lee could do little to resist. Lee staggered back. His chest throbbed with pain and his stomach felt queasy, but he was still on his feet.

    Jason towered over him, tall and thick like a tree. That's when Lee realized how he could win the fight. He had to chop the tree down. Lee delivered a stinging front snap kick to Jason's thigh, knowing this would cramp Jason's muscle. As Lee had hoped, Jason leaned over to rub his leg, leaving his neck exposed. This was what Lee had been waiting for. Summoning all his energy and power in one big kiai, Lee jumped in with a knife hand to Jason's neck.

    "Hyaaaahhhh!" Lee kiaied as the side of his hand connected with his target.

    Jason toppled over and lay on the ground. He rolled onto his back, his arms at his sides, and almost did look like a fallen tree. His eyes were open, though, and angry. Lee knew he had to use one more technique to make sure Jason wouldn't get up and come at him again. Jason's solar plexus, the nerve center of his entire body, was open and exposed, giving Lee the perfect opportunity to knock him out.

    "Go for it, Lee!" Jeremy shouted.

    It was now or never. Lee moved in for the final blow.
    I like how nobody in this fight punches to the face.
    “nobody shoots anybody in the face unless you’re a hit man or a video gamer.” - Jack Thompson
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jack_Th...%28attorney%29
  2. Virus is offline
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    Posted On:
    4/24/2007 9:26pm

    Join us... or die
     Style: Judo

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    He should have become a ninja instead.
  3. nezha is offline

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    Dec 2005
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    Herndon, Virginia, USA
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    Posted On:
    4/24/2007 9:31pm


     Style: Boxing, Wushu

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Why do these McDojo types all hate boxing?
  4. Lv1Sierpinski is offline

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    Posted On:
    4/24/2007 9:48pm


     Style: BJJ

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Well, at least it seems to be partially based in reality...kid can handle a crappy kick, but has no defence for punches to the body with weight behind them.
  5. Erebus is offline

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    Posted On:
    4/24/2007 10:07pm


     Style: MT, Sanshou/Sanda

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Oh man, I remember reading the same book when I was a kid, I think they came out with an entire series of that ****. Ironically, it did get me interested in martial arts.
  6. SongPower is offline
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    Posted On:
    4/24/2007 10:22pm


     Style: BJJ, FMA

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by nezha
    Why do these McDojo types all hate boxing?
    because its like, not from asia man, and like, everybody knows that only the asian mystics knew how to fight with the mind, body and spirit man:hippy2:
  7. Virus is offline
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    Posted On:
    4/24/2007 10:24pm

    Join us... or die
     Style: Judo

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    I just remembered that when I was in 7th grade we read this crappy book about a kid who was bullied and he did judo and ended up throwing the bully at the end of the book. Judo was presented as a "gentle" and "non-violent" art. Pity it didn't end with an armbar.

    Maybe the author was mistaken because judo isn't the gentle art, it's the rough art. Aikido is the gentle art.
  8. Virtua is offline

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    Posted On:
    4/24/2007 11:55pm


     Style: nothing right now

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by Virus
    Maybe the author was mistaken because judo isn't the gentle art, it's the rough art. Aikido is the gentle art.
    How can you say that. Judo is all about safe sports.
    Aikido is for r34l.
    C4us3 th3y l34rn t3h d34dly wrist br34king.
  9. Virus is offline
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    Posted On:
    4/25/2007 12:12am

    Join us... or die
     Style: Judo

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    The aikido guys use the mat before our judo class and seriously it's the dumbest **** I've ever seen. And I did six years of bujinkan.
  10. Kid Miracleman is offline
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    Rowsdower!

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    Posted On:
    4/25/2007 12:16am

    Join us... or die
     Style: On Hiatus

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Ha ha! Those dumb boxers! Always leaving their rib cage exposed! Everyone knows you should keep your lead/jab hand down by your stomach, just like Bruce Lee! That way you can protect your face with the other hand while still covering your chest and stomach.


    I mean jeez, it's just common sense!
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