4/06/2007 12:59pm, #1
Forgive me father, for I have sinned. It has been 4 weeks since my last...
...round of sparring. We have been doing all belt stuff lately, which I don't care about. Anyone else's dojo start out great and go the wrong way?
What sucks is that the dojo is run by my boss and I don't want to insult him or jeopardize my employment. I would happily remain a white belt for even 10 minutes of sparring every class.
Of course our sister dojo which is closer to my house has boxing class / sparring twice a week and kickboxing sparring on fridays. Sweet irony.
4/06/2007 1:13pm, #2
"How to politely request more kumite w/o insulting Sensei and getting thrown out of dojo" would be a good discussion.
A friend of mine trains and teaches Dan Zan Ryu Jujutsu, but they don't spar for **** so he x-trained Judo/BJJ/MMA and started a sparring class. The DZR school only let blue belts or higher attend, and only a few of the crazier dudes came out for it.
Once and a while a nose gets broken, they have a tendency to disturb the aikido class's meditation, and of course they totally have a blast."You know what I like about you, William? You like guns AND meditation."
4/06/2007 1:24pm, #3
- Join Date
- Feb 2007
Yeah don't you hate when you get stuck in that cross-training situation. You have to be all worried about who you offend, yet you pay these people good money for classes and you have to worry about loyalty. I say go cross-train somewhere else too when you can. No one needs to know what you do on your time. A lot of places have per class rates.
4/06/2007 1:36pm, #4
Since your sensei is your boss as well, I'd wager that you two are at least decent friends?
Why not ask him informally, outside of the dojo, if you could spar more? I don't see how the asking would be a big deal.
4/06/2007 6:03pm, #5
My boss is a very serious fellow, I am somewhat intimidated by him. I would train elsewhere as well if I had the time, but working 70 hours a week and being a father prevent that.
Hopefully I can find some time to at least box once a week at the sister dojo. You guys who have the time / resources to train in a mix of styles like BJJ / Muay Tai don't know how lucky you are.
4/06/2007 6:23pm, #6
Dude, just sidle up to him, as a friend, and tell him that some of the guys have been muttering about more sparring, and how much they like it, and how great it was at the club, and how you just thought you'd tell him so he didn't lose any members to clubs that spar regularly.
Real friends don't let friends drink and drive, and they don't mind slightly (ahem) misrepresenting a situation for mutual benefit.
If you have issues with lying (oh, that's such an emotive word) lead one of your classmates in a conversation where they'll say "I like to spar". Then you're only slighly embellishing the facts. Polishing the turd, so to speak.
I only suggest this course of action because you're in a no-win situation, working for the guy and having him instruct you. If he was just an instructor, or just a friend, I'd encourage you to be straight with him, but screw it. He has leverage over you (even if he doesn't know it), so you need to work the situation for you.
The only drawback to this plan (aside from staining your soul with falsehoods and mistruths) is if he asks which guys. If he's likely to do that, throw the line "and I know you won't ask me to name names, because I know a man of your integrity will appreciate that I was told in confidence and would never ask me to betray that". Or some such ****.
4/06/2007 6:33pm, #7
- Join Date
- Feb 2006
- Staten Island, NYC
Just bail. Not being in choice and being "forced" is terrible business. I would not waste my time if I was a dad. This person is taking your KIDS TIME. Do not let him. 70 hours of work, and kids, and training? That training better be perfect, do not **** around.
PM me if you want some things you can do "Non-violently" or conflict resolution, because that is my specialty.
4/06/2007 7:23pm, #8
Buddha says do what works and have a flower.
4/06/2007 7:34pm, #9
- Join Date
- Feb 2006
- Waltham, MA
If your boss was professional, I he should keep the relationship you two have in MA seperate from the relationship you two have at work, if that is the case you should be able to just be upfront about asking for more sparring.
4/06/2007 11:20pm, #10
- Join Date
- Oct 2005
Just tell him you are switching to the sister dojo because of rising gas prices, and it allows you to spend more time with your kids.