Thread: Aikido propaganda catchphrases
3/13/2007 2:14pm, #1
Aikido propaganda catchphrases
To honor "Aikido sucks Month", I have assembled the standard phrases heard from aikido apologists around the world. For future "aikido sucks" threads, this may serve as a handy reference to get the standard stuff over and done with quickly.
"When you practice defending against the overhead chop, the diagonal chop, the step-through punch and the wrist grab enough, you've got attacks from all angles covered, so you know what to do in every situation."
Right, 'cause a nice jab is just the same as a shomen-tsuki telegraphed from a mile away.
"We train principles, not techniques."
Translation: Yes, I know our techniques suck. I don't plan on using them anyway.
"We practice with large movements so we can do the techniques small and efficiently."
"We practice slowly and step-by-step so we can do the techniques fluently when it counts."
"We practice techniques kneeling so we can do them better on our feet."
"We practice with weapons to learn how to fight empty-handed."
How about simply training the stuff the way you mean to use it? Is that too simple?
"O Sensei said that aikido is 90% atemi."
Handy excuse not to use any of your techniques when the **** hits the fan. Do you actually practice atemi, too?
"If the attacker lets go of the wrist grab, I do something else."
Right on. Too bad you never get around to practicing that "something else".
"Aikido is the art of defending yourself without injuring your attacker."
Okay, care for a little sparring?
"No, it's too dangerous, I don't want to break your wrist."
"True victory is victory over yourself. The path lies in nonviolent conflict resolution."
Cool, so if someone beats me up, I win 'cause I resisted the temptation to kill him?
"Why would I put up my hands when the attack has not even begun?"
Maybe so you don't get knocked out when it does begin?
"Competition is just cheap gratification of the ego, and not in the spirit of true budo."
Prancing around in a skirt and never testing your skill, on the other hand, is just how the samurai did it.
That's all I can think of for now - do you remember any more?There are no wrong threats, only wrong answers. (Strategy game truism)
3/13/2007 3:10pm, #2
"Aikido is an excellent supplement for people that already hold a blackbelt in judo."
"Aikido was intended to be a secondary art for people that already knew how to fight."
Yeah, 'cos once you get your blackbelt in judo grabbing people's wrists and falling over is really what you need to take your game to the next level.
3/13/2007 3:10pm, #3Q: Is aikido effective?
A: Yes, I confidently passes my math exam
Q: Have you ever had to 'prove yourself' on the street using aikido?
A: Yes, someone raped my dog and killed my mother and I shook their hand. I effectively blended with them thereby diffusing the situation.There is no cheating, there is only jiu-jitsu.
3/13/2007 3:40pm, #4
"Aikido has some good principles in it."
So does ninjitsu, nobody's dumb enough to say "Stick your face in the way of a punch" are they? God, someone in magic pants states the obvious and we all pat them on the back for it.
3/13/2007 4:35pm, #5
- Join Date
- Dec 2006
cyrijl your avi is hilarious....where'd you find it?
I've got plenty, enough to warn future generations to stay away from Aikido...
"If you want real self defense, get a gun"
- So I shoot a homeless guy if he asks for money? Or if I'm helping a friend in trouble?
"Our footwork is based on sword movements, circular and precise?"
- In responses to jabs we twirl or tenkan around them? Interesting.
"Punches aren't wise for self-defense scenarios"
- But leaving the hands down and ready for attack is?
"Aikido will not teach you to fight, but how to live"
- I'm living already, but I want to fight, so what does Aikido have to really offer?
"Take away the Ki from Aikido and you just have JiuJitsu"
- Well I tend to believe more tangible elements of Martial Arts, such as leverage, gravity, positioning, etc. than using an opponent's "life force". What's wrong with JiuJitsu?
"Those UFC, Pride, Cage fighters are just animals who are egotistical"
- So people who work train/hard and test their technique constantly against others is just giving their ego a boost? That's a different theory.
"There are no tournaments in Aikido, it boosts the ego and hurts others"
- Competition is one of the healthiest occurences in life, if anyhing to avoid competition is unhealthy. Millions of athletes compete hardcore to the fullest degree, but not many are killed/crippled from it.
"To get a Black Belt in Aikido will take 5 years 2x a week, but if you train harder 4x or 5x a week, 10 years. When you are at Black Belt you will be able to handle just about anything"
- Well you can handle anything except jabs, crosses, feints, kicks, double or single leg takedown, ah, you get the rest :laughing1
"Aikido means the way to peace"
- Normally to get peace you have to get there through hard, tough war, I mean the French "harmonized" with the Germans in WII, so that worked out good. So "not fighting" is the best way to get peace right?
"If you resist [Insert Technique], you will be [Insert Crippling Injury Here]"
- But I wasn't thrown, pinned, I just fell because you told me to.
"Hakama are meant for high level students, and can only be folded by Yudansha"
- How will I be able to fold my own Hakama when I become a Black belt if I never folded one before?
"If he has a gun, pivot your hips out of the way, then turn the gun back towards him"
- Wouldn't an attacker just blow your head off if you move?
"Distance is important in Aikido, bad distance equals a bad encounter"
- So how come Judo, BJJ, Boxers, MT, and MMA are pretty competent at maintaining good distance for striking and defending?
"Blocking is bad for your wrists"
- So keep my hands down and don't block the attack, but simply "move off the line of attack", it all makes sense now!!!!
"We train in weapons, sword, staff, knife"
- Yes, in America, there are many rogue swordsman lurking in the big cities, a good reason to study Aikido.
"Aikido is a Martial Art"
- An art, yes, a dance form yes, but the methodology of teaching has crippled Aikido, so it is more a dance form like Wushu, XMA, impressive yes, but not realistic when compared to real Martial Arts.
"Aggression is bad and will not help you in a fight"
- I guess with the hakama we get a doormat printed on our gi too?
"Many law/military/Jedi take Aikido to avoid legal troubles"
- First off:
LEOs/Jedi have their weapons/lightsabers, so if an assailant attacks, they get stabbed, shot. Also LEOs/Military have numbers with weapons, so MA really won't make a difference when they have 10 friends ready to tackle an unarmed assailant. Also Aikido will work fine on compliant people, such as people who are handcuffed, at gunpoint, or drunk/mentally disturbed!!! Go peace!!!
"Cross-training will dilute your Aikido training"
Funny, the Founder of Aikido crosstrained in numerous arts, I guess he was diluted too?
"You can disable/maim multiple attackers from Aikido principles"
What if they don't all attack at once, and use "real world" attacks such as the ones you neglect to train in?
"Size and strength are pointless when compared to the power of Aikido techniques"
- A 5'2 woman who ways 110lbs and trains Aikido will be more than a match for an aggressive male who weighs twice as much as herself. Good.
"Aikido is the ultimate Martial Art since it encompasses all martial arts"
- In all of the martial arts I guess no one punches.
"Aikido will help you stay in shape"
- Yes throwing yourself can be quite a workout.
3/13/2007 4:39pm, #6
I just remembered my cousins were planning to try Aikido. Gotta call them sometime.
3/13/2007 4:56pm, #7Originally Posted by AbusivemelonWhere there is only a choice between cowardice and violence, I would advise violence.
3/14/2007 1:22am, #8
- Join Date
- Feb 2007
"The way to moons of Jupiter lies through Ur anus"
3/14/2007 2:17am, #9
This thread is very Virus-ish. Approved.
"Aikido has some good fighting principles"
Yeah and people that don't study medicine have good disease fighting principles.
"If you want to train with aliveness you can. As long as you get a solid foundation in aikido basics first."
Which you can then completely discard when you start using your bad judo.
Last edited by Virus; 3/14/2007 2:23am at .
3/14/2007 5:27am, #10
"Aikido was meant for dealing with multiple attackers"
Yeah, standing wristocks really only start becoming effective when faced with more than five people.