Posted On:3/12/2007 1:35pm
Style: Kajukenbo / Judo / IKEA
Originally Posted by Axelton
Worst thread of 2007.
Oh no. I predict Oldman34's thread on knitting a gi out of yarn he will write next month will be much, much worse.
Fear the weasels
Fear the gay pirate
Me caught Spinning at work
"Do not be afraid. With my nipples I will suckle each of you with arcane knowledge passed down for generations." -Ashida Kim (Phrost)
Here's looking at you, squid.
Posted On:3/12/2007 1:58pm
Style: Ke?po, MMA ultra-newb
I thought it was the Nut-huggers dictionary!
Tae Kwon Do - The ultimate self defense art; includes kicks potent enough to knock a man off a horse.
Aikido - The ultimate self defense art; includes training harmonize with the attacker's motion so he literally throws himself
Wing Chun (and variations) - The ultimate self defense art; includes specific punching techniques to use against each and every other style of martial arts
Ninjutsi - The ultimate self defense art; includes stealth and training in how to kill people who don't even know you're there (like pre-emptive self defense, kinda)
Kung Fu - The ultimate self defense art; includes prancy dancing and soft unifroms that require dry cleaning
"Reason is a choice. Wishes and whims are not facts, nor are they a means to discovering them. Reason is our only way to grasping reality -- it's our basic tool of survival. We are free to evade the effort of thinking, to reject reason, but we are not free to avoid the penalty of the abyss we refuse to see."
- Terry Goodkind, "Faith of the Fallen"
Guess which finger is the fickle one...
Posted On:3/12/2007 2:07pm
Style: Karate/ Arnis
Well, in that case,
American freestyle Karate -
The ultimate self defense art. It takes every decent technique from ever other martial art and forges them into an unbeatable combination.
Tung Soo Do -
The ultimate Korean self defense, It's much more effective than Tae Kwon Do but prefers to remain hidden in the shadows, thus increasing its deadliness through anonymity.
Tae Kwon Do -
A Martial Art so effective people will gladly pay excessive fees just to be allowed to be associated with it. 90,000 kids can't be wrong.
If you can't laugh at yourself,
Others will be happy to do it for you. :evil6:
The 2 most abundant elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity.
KEIN HAAR APPROVED!
Posted On:3/12/2007 4:14pm
Cumberland Wrestling: The noble art of two grown men grappling in long johns. Over which they wear their y-fronts.
Cornish Wrestling: Like Judo, but with a Pirate's accent. AAAAARRRRH!
Bare Knuckle Boxing: Where two gypsies punch each other in the face for a pittance. In a barn.
Pro-Boxing: Where two black blokes punch each other in the face for a small fortune. In an arena.
White Collar Boxing: Where two fat white blokes punch each other in the face for free. In a community centre.
Savate: Where two French blokes kick each other in the face for a small fee. In a unitard.
The Bottom Brick
Posted On:3/12/2007 6:15pm
Style: BJJ, Ju-Jitsu
Kendo- You hope this is all a dream and that in reality you are a Jedi knight.
"Sifu, I"m niether - I'm a fire dragon so don't **** with me!"
Posted On:3/12/2007 6:29pm
Style: punching bag / crew jitsu
Nunchaku - pieces of wood connected by a chain which are t3h ultimate defense even though they're unlikely to be found anywhere outside of your dojo and are as much of a hazard to you as they are to an attacker.
Posted On:3/12/2007 6:40pm
Ninjutsu - The ultimate self defense art. An added benefit is the ability of teenage Caucasians to pretend to be mature Asian men of rigid honor, despite the fact that the ninja weren't supposed to have any honor because it had all been stolen by the Samurai.
You are in a lot of trouble.
Posted On:3/12/2007 6:45pm
Style: Twirling Foot Kung Fu
YMAS - A Bullshido subforum chock full of screamingly hilarious and savagely insightful comedy.
Originally Posted by Hedgehogey
FORM AN ACROBATIC BRIDGE ACROSS OMEGA'S GOOCH
Originally Posted by Kidspatula
Bleep bleep blip bloop
Posted On:3/12/2007 6:50pm
The ultimate self defense art. One look at your mad skillz and your agressor will run for cover. Anybody that will wear a silver jumpsuit while doing a 540 twisting spin kick, and screaming like a banshee from the bowels of hell, is no one to be messed with. Once a would be attacker lays eyes on your reflective balsa Bo staff and blinking LED numchucks, they will probably soil themselves.
Posted On:3/12/2007 6:57pm
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