The Nutrider's Martial Arts Glossary.

**NunOnBreak** · Posted On: 3/12/2007 1:35pm

Originally Posted by Axelton

Worst thread of 2007.

Oh no. I predict Oldman34's thread on knitting a gi out of yarn he will write next month will be much, much worse.

**OnceLost** · Posted On: 3/12/2007 1:58pm

I thought it was the Nut-huggers dictionary!

Tae Kwon Do - The ultimate self defense art; includes kicks potent enough to knock a man off a horse.

Aikido - The ultimate self defense art; includes training harmonize with the attacker's motion so he literally throws himself

Wing Chun (and variations) - The ultimate self defense art; includes specific punching techniques to use against each and every other style of martial arts

Ninjutsi - The ultimate self defense art; includes stealth and training in how to kill people who don't even know you're there (like pre-emptive self defense, kinda)

Kung Fu - The ultimate self defense art; includes prancy dancing and soft unifroms that require dry cleaning

**FickleFingerOfFate** · Posted On: 3/12/2007 2:07pm

Well, in that case,

American freestyle Karate -

The ultimate self defense art. It takes every decent technique from ever other martial art and forges them into an unbeatable combination.

Tung Soo Do -

The ultimate Korean self defense, It's much more effective than Tae Kwon Do but prefers to remain hidden in the shadows, thus increasing its deadliness through anonymity.

Tae Kwon Do -

A Martial Art so effective people will gladly pay excessive fees just to be allowed to be associated with it. 90,000 kids can't be wrong.

**Truculent Sheep** · Posted On: 3/12/2007 4:14pm

Cumberland Wrestling: The noble art of two grown men grappling in long johns. Over which they wear their y-fronts.

Cornish Wrestling: Like Judo, but with a Pirate's accent. AAAAARRRRH!

Bare Knuckle Boxing: Where two gypsies punch each other in the face for a pittance. In a barn.

Pro-Boxing: Where two black blokes punch each other in the face for a small fortune. In an arena.

White Collar Boxing: Where two fat white blokes punch each other in the face for free. In a community centre.

Savate: Where two French blokes kick each other in the face for a small fee. In a unitard.

**Askari** · Posted On: 3/12/2007 6:15pm

Kendo- You hope this is all a dream and that in reality you are a Jedi knight.

**kwoww** · Posted On: 3/12/2007 6:29pm

Nunchaku - pieces of wood connected by a chain which are t3h ultimate defense even though they're unlikely to be found anywhere outside of your dojo and are as much of a hazard to you as they are to an attacker.

**OnceLost** · Posted On: 3/12/2007 6:40pm

Ninjutsu - The ultimate self defense art. An added benefit is the ability of teenage Caucasians to pretend to be mature Asian men of rigid honor, despite the fact that the ninja weren't supposed to have any honor because it had all been stolen by the Samurai.

**Dr. Fagbot Q. MacGillicuddy, PhD** · Posted On: 3/12/2007 6:45pm

YMAS - A Bullshido subforum chock full of screamingly hilarious and savagely insightful comedy.

**FickleFingerOfFate** · Posted On: 3/12/2007 6:50pm

XMA -

The ultimate self defense art. One look at your mad skillz and your agressor will run for cover. Anybody that will wear a silver jumpsuit while doing a 540 twisting spin kick, and screaming like a banshee from the bowels of hell, is no one to be messed with. Once a would be attacker lays eyes on your reflective balsa Bo staff and blinking LED numchucks, they will probably soil themselves.

**FickleFingerOfFate** · Posted On: 3/12/2007 6:57pm

Trollshido -

A safe haven for threads so poignant or so far ahead of their time, that the average layman can't fathom their depth and meaning, where they can be preserved and archived until society is able to accommodate their insight.