Martial Arts Styles and Technical Support

**Antifa** · Posted On: 2/06/2007 3:17pm

Martial Arts Styles an Technical Support:

Recently I turned a co-worker at my job on to Bullshido. It broke his brain

He answered the phone "Thank you for calling systema technical support". Which got us thinking...

1) Systema Tech support: You cant get connected to the internet. So you edit the registry and remove all references to windows media player.

2) Bunjinkan Technical Support: Dont show the technique of technical support.

3) _ing _ung?

please have fun with this.

**Phrost** · Posted On: 2/06/2007 3:45pm

Wing Chun Tech Support: Provides 11 answers a second but none of them work.

**Uechidude** · Posted On: 2/06/2007 3:49pm

AshidaKim Tech Support : Use the Kata Dante Anti Virus program, it will kill everything in your computer in 5 seconds.

**Ajax** · Posted On: 2/06/2007 4:24pm

Tai chi tech support, gaurenteed to slow you down to 5% of real operating speed, making you totally ineffective, unless a chinesse grandma is tring to hack your system.

**Doctor X** · Posted On: 2/06/2007 4:34pm

Karate Technical Support: here, practice your typing on this fake keyboard for a few years. Remember to breath.

Aikido Technical Support: your software appears non-compliant.

BJJ Technical Support: your software is the best software ever created. In fact, the better selling Microsoft is based on BJJ software.

--J.D.

**Neildo** · Posted On: 2/06/2007 4:38pm

Originally Posted by Doctor X

Aikido Technical Support: your software appears non-compliant.

Oooh, good one.

**bad credit** · Posted On: 2/06/2007 4:47pm

JKD: Check it out, I have every software emulator, EVER.

**Virus** · Posted On: 2/06/2007 4:53pm

Welcome to _ing _un tech support this is Jeff how can I help you?

Yeah, Hi. I started doing _ing _un about a six months ago and I'm having problems dealing with grapplers.

This is normal, it usually takes ten years. Have you tried using the anti-grapple?

Nah, my package didn't come with anti-grapple. My teacher hasn't heard of BJJ or seen the early UFCs yet.

I see. Well I can book you into an Emin Boztepe seminar if you like?

Nah, that's OK.

Alright well in the meantime I suggest using an elbow to spine when they go for a takedown.

OK I'll give that a go.

Do you have a grappler near you at the moment?

Yeah, I think I do hang on a sec......yeah, my mate does BJJ he's over hear now.

OK get him to go for a double-leg and try using the elbow to spine on him.

Ah, Ok I'll give it a go.................It didn't work he still ended up in mount.

Well, as I said it usually takes ten years. Are you trying to use it in a sparring enviorment?

Yeah I am.

I see, well you know this package really isn't intended for use on a sporting platform. It's for the street.

Oh? I didn't know that.

Yeah so that's why it doesn't seem to work. You need to use eye rakes and groin grabs. Thye don't work during sparring.

Alright then.

OK so keep using the package for another nine and a half years then get back to me if you are still having any problems. I'll give you a reference number, you ready?

Yeah.

Ok. t3h-ing-un-is-t3h-sux0r. did you get that?

Yeah I got it. Thanks a lot, You know? I think I'll take that Emin Boztepe seminar.

Ok I've booked you in. Have a nice day sir.

Yea, you too. thanks.

**Emevas** · Posted On: 2/06/2007 4:58pm

Boxing Tech Support:...wait, what was your problem again? Huh? I'd like a large cheeseburger and some fries.

**Kintanon** · Posted On: 2/06/2007 5:00pm

TKD Technical Support: Your computer still won't work when we're done, but it will have one fantastic Screen Saver, Desktop Background, AND a new paint job, WITH GLITTER!