Here's looking at you, squid.
Posted On:2/05/2007 2:46pm
Style: Ke?po, MMA ultra-newb
Ninja Death Squid throughout history (or, Blame the Ninja)
Psst! Hey, you...ca'mere. I wanna tell you something.
You know who killed Bruce Lee? It was the Ninja Death Squid. Seriously. See, the Ninja Death Squid are bad mother-fuckers, man...you don't even know. You thought Ashida Kim was a badass? ****, you have no idea. These fuckers are worse than the Illuminati. They're fucking global, man, and they fight harder than a room full of 'chunners who've ODed on valium. Lemme break it down for you:
October, 2005. A Ninja Death Squid was a little constipated while using a public restroom in Pakistan. He pushed too far and dropped a load that penetrated the crust of the earth, setting off an earthquake that hit 7.6 on the Richter scale.
December, 2004 - A Ninja Death Squid was swimming in the ocean (they do that sometimes) off the coast of India. He farted (they do that, too). Next thing you know, a tsunami kills 200,000 people.
A small group of Ninja Death Squid were messin' around with a kid's chemistry set. They invented SARS. They were trying to recreate an experiment perfected by another Ninja Death Squid in 1918.
But it's the historical **** that's really scary.
In 1846, a Ninja Death Squid living in Ireland decided to bulk up a little. Next thing you know, a potato famine. No ****.
Around the 1300s, a group of Ninja Death Squid went completely loco - they've become known as the Black Death.
John Wilkes Booth? Yeah, he was the fall guy. Lincoln was taken out by a Ninja Death Squid.
But enough of me talking - This is the thread where you can share YOUR stories. How have the Ninja Death Squid touched your life? Know any interesting historical tidbits? Throw them in here.
But remember, the first rule of the Ninja Death Squid is that you DON'T talk about the Ninja Death Squid. Typing is okay, though.
"Reason is a choice. Wishes and whims are not facts, nor are they a means to discovering them. Reason is our only way to grasping reality -- it's our basic tool of survival. We are free to evade the effort of thinking, to reject reason, but we are not free to avoid the penalty of the abyss we refuse to see."
- Terry Goodkind, "Faith of the Fallen"
Posted On:2/05/2007 2:58pm
Style: Wing Chun, Hung Gar
can i have a ninja death squid avatar? Preferably with a top knot and a japanese flag bandana and a katana?
Posted On:2/05/2007 3:07pm
I'll get one uploaded for you this weekend.
Here, hold these for me.
Posted On:2/05/2007 3:16pm
Style: jkd concepts
Death Squid....f_cked up Kirk Douglas' submarine in 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea.....
They are NOT to be trifled with.
"The seventh law of thermodynamics is that every time a fat person gets near a trapdoor, they fall in. Itís the closest thing we have to scientific proof of God."
Posted On:2/05/2007 3:22pm
New from Japan: GIANT Ninja death squid.
Posted On:2/05/2007 3:56pm
Eh, a true Ninja Death Squid would never be captured on camera. Such capture is shameful and requires ritual mortification of the body and soul, which for Ninja Death Squid involves watching censored reruns of Bay Watch.
Posted On:2/05/2007 4:24pm
You have no idea the trouble the Japanese scientists had to go through to get that footage.
Guess which finger is the fickle one...
Posted On:2/05/2007 4:47pm
Style: Karate/ Arnis
The legendary Kracken- Ninja death squid
The loch ness monster- Ninja death squid
Fall of the Roman empire - Ninja death squid ( they hate togas)
Bigfoot- Ninja death squid (thats why there are no pictures)
Mt Vesuvius - Ninja death squid and spicy thai food
The Lost city of Atlantis - You don't want the Ninja death squid to find out where you live
Stonehenge - Ancient Dojo of the Ninja death squid
The San Andreas Fault - Long term revenge project against Badsifu/ Nuck Chorris
Irritate the Ninja death squid at your peril.
Skylab falling- The Ninja death squid won't tolerate spying.
Dick Chaney shots companion in face- Near miss by the Ninja death squid
(obviously just a warning)
Have I earned my Ninja death squid Avatar and secret decoder ring yet?
Posted On:2/05/2007 4:53pm
Rare photographic evidence of a rogue member of
The Ninja Death Squid
Charlie Don't Surf
Posted On:2/05/2007 5:08pm
Style: TKD, Relson GJJ, Judo
This is excellent. I have known all along that all my problems in life have been caused by ninja, but I never knew that the Ninja Death Squid was behind it all. Tell me, are lesser ninjers controlled and directed by the Ninja Death Squid? Is Ashida Kim a joke that the Ninja Death Squid are perpetuating on the MA community, or is he a clever distraction so that no one will notice their true machinations? My car recently died, was this the result of Ninja Death Squid?
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