Stupid things you used to believe about martial arts

[HearWa]

Since I took kung fu I'm not going to list the obvious like chain punches are awesome and the horse stance builds kicking power, etc.

When I usto watch people grapple and saw someone who was mounted or side mounted I usto believe those people were pussies because they couldn't just power out of it.

I also usto believe that throwing a guy on his ass would be easy, and usto practice throwing imaginary opponents in hypothetical situations.

This isn't related but I kicked my dog by accident once when I was younger practicing spinning crescent kicks. I also usto practice punching as close to my cat as possible without hitting him. After a while he didn't even flinch, just gave me that "you're a fucking LARPin' piece of ****" look.

I usto believe that by practicing my forms with forceful movements I would be increasing my punching power. This might have helped a little as it got me usto throwing a lot of energy into a technique in as little of time possible but of course there are better methods for doing so.

I usto believe in throwing a lot of back fists as you were striking and potentially blocking a shot at the same time. This sounds nice in theory but in application if you're not fighting a complete tool it tends to not work.

I usto believe my Sifu was hiding the grappling component of kung fu from me and all the applications to the forms until I realized that he knew nothing of either. He is a decent pseudo-kickboxer but I didn't see him use any of his kung fu in the six years I studied under him.

I usto believe in the knee stomp and standing elbow snatch and break.

There's lots more but that's all I feel like posting for now. In short taking a bullshido martial art when you're in the "I'm six feet tall and bullet-proof" stage of development just isn't healthy, mmk?

[TehDeadlyDimMak]

I saw Drunken Master in theaters at a birthday party years back.

I came to the conclusion that Drunken Boxing was all powerful since drunk people are better at fighting than sober people. I tried to seek out this style; fortunately it's rare enough that I couldn't secure a location to train in it.

[Virus]

Imagine the comedy that a drunken boxing nutrider would produce on the forums.

[Mr. Jones]

- martial arts are about helping people

- ninjutsu is the most powerful martial art in the world

- Shenmue is real

- Kungfu is the motherfucking bomb

- The average martial artist is a hardened fighter

- my dad is the strongest guy in the world

- Enter the Dragon was actually a documentary of Bruce Lee

- Steven Segal did Karate

- Judo is dumb

- You can not knock out a Samoan it is impossible

- Samurai were the most powerful warriors ever besides ninjas

- true martial artists never have sex. they're too busy fighting. *see Ryu from Street Fighter*

- the word "true martial artist"

- pro wrestling is real

- All Chinese people have an uncle or grandfather who is a kung-fu master

- White people won the crusades

- Mike Tyson can't be beaten

- martial arts are a pseudo religion *see Wude*

[Virus]

If you go back far enough, to like when I was ten, I used to believe pro-wrestling was real.

[Mr. Jones]

If you go back far enough, to like when I was ten, I used to believe pro-wrestling was real.

Everyone did my friend, everyone

[Virus]

I pretty much went from typical layman saturated with martial arts myths misinformation to bujinkan nutrider, then transitioned over the course of a year or so to uber-combat sports nutrider.

[Virus]

Everyone did my friend, everyone

Coversation I invented in my head:

"Pro wrestling is real."

"No it isn't. It's completly fake."

"Some of it's real."

[Kintanon]

Up until about 2 years ago I thought that Boxing consisted of two overweight guys hugging each other for 3 minutes at time for an hour. Figured there was NO WAY that was any use on t3h str33t.

Kintanon

[Mr. Jones]

I saw Drunken Master in theaters at a birthday party years back.

I came to the conclusion that Drunken Boxing was all powerful since drunk people are better at fighting than sober people. I tried to seek out this style; fortunately it's rare enough that I couldn't secure a location to train in it.

I was like you back then except I actually found one but I was too busy playing
"Legend of Zelda Ocarina of Time" to go