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Thread: The Mat Spaz

  1. #31

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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Your instructor should have a way to deal with guys like that. We get a few like that now and then, and generally my instructor tells them to chill out after a the first spaz offense. After a second offense, he will explain that we are not trying to hurt each other, and need to tone down the intensity. At the third offense, he sicks the bulldogs on the spaz. I actually got to be a bulldog a little while back...

    So this young ninja comes in to the club, and initially seems OK. (Seriously. He was training in some buji/ninja style.) Anyway, we start doing groundwork and he totally spazzes. It's not so much malicious as it is total terror of "losing". So he works with one of our newer guys, and just starts flailing, then trying to use pressure points. He gets his first "Chill out" warning.

    We then rotate partners, and he freaks out again, spazzing and kicking another guy in the face. My instructor calls break, and he gets a very stern warning, to which he argues that he didn't mean to, etc. The guy he was rolling with being fairly new, is kind of stunned.

    Then we do techniques for a little while and go over some collar chokes. Now ninja guy obviously doesn't like getting choked, and starts spazzing a while doing a fucking drill. So that's it. Instructor calls break, and says we should spar. He leans over to me and says "Choke the **** out of him." and matches me up against the ninja spaz.

    So I quickly tip him, and start riding kesa. (Excellent tip from the others on this thread.) Needless to say, he starts spazzing and trying to claw at my eyes ninja-style. So I catch his arm and cross-face him for no particular reason. I then hop to mount, and begin to smother-cook him for awhile. He starts totally freaking out. I let him flop for awhile. Eventually I got bored, snatched the colar and sat up a bit and began following the instructions that were given. The guy then tries to collar choke me at the same time, while I've got the choke on him from mount. His eyes looked like they were going to pop out of his head, but the dude would not tap. He starts to go out, but is still struggling. I casually tell him "Relax and tap." He does.

    After this the ninja goes with the more senior guys, and just gets worked over in a similar fashion, until he is utterly exhausted. My instructor then goes with him at the end, and kind of gently talks him through stuff, "Relax and watch your balance here, etc."

    The ninja actually ended up being a decent guy. Apparently he'd gotten the **** kicked out of him throughout his childhood, and just had a very low panic threshold. He came for a few more sessions and did much better.

  2. #32
    TEA's Avatar
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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by El Macho
    He needs to be raped by a goat, man. Get a goat, problem solved.
    That would be especially appropriate in conjunction with Sochin's advice.

  3. #33
    Rubberduck's Avatar
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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by TEA
    That would be especially appropriate in conjunction with Sochin's advice.
    Or maybe by very angry rhino. Though he might like it by the sound of it.

  4. #34
    Bustardo's Avatar
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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    How do Rhino Rape?

  5. #35
    Teh El Macho's Avatar
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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by Bustardo
    How do Rhino Rape?
    Like a goat??? :confused1
    Read this for flexibility and injury prevention, this, this and this for supplementation, this on grip conditioning, and this on staph. New: On strenght standards, relationships and structural balance. Shoulder problems? Read this.

    My crapuous vlog and my blog of training, stuff and crap. NEW: Me, Mrs. Macho and our newborn baby.

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    The street argument is retarded. BJJ is so much overkill for the street that its ridiculous. Unless you're the idiot that picks a fight with the high school wrestling team, barring knife or gun play, the opponent shouldn't make it past double leg + ground and pound - Osiris

  6. #36
    Tonuzaba's Avatar
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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Rhinos don't rape...
    They make love to you...

    ...with a 2 1/2 feet long penis and 5000 pounds of body weight on your shoulders.

    Fully erect, a rhino's penis extends up to two and a half feet and is shaped like a lightning bolt. To accommodate it, the reproductive tract of the female rhino is also quite long, with many twists and angles of its own
    Other than that, they are really nice and sensitive and care about your feelings.

    CLICK & WATCH
    :
    I got BULLSHIDO ON TV!!!

    "Bruce Lee sucks because I slammed my nuts with nunchucks trying to do that stupid **** back in the day. I still managed to have two kids. I forgive you Bruce.
    " - by Vorpal

  7. #37
    Tonuzaba's Avatar
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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by El Macho
    Like a goat??? :confused1
    There really is something disturbing about your new avatar picture...
    Where did you get it from?

    CLICK & WATCH
    :
    I got BULLSHIDO ON TV!!!

    "Bruce Lee sucks because I slammed my nuts with nunchucks trying to do that stupid **** back in the day. I still managed to have two kids. I forgive you Bruce.
    " - by Vorpal

  8. #38
    sochin101's Avatar
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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by Bustardo
    How do Rhino Rape?
    However the hell it likes...
    Where there is only a choice between cowardice and violence, I would advise violence.

    Gandhi


  9. #39

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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    So the next time he comes to class, you should have a few things pre-arranged.

    1. He should be tied face down to the groundwork/grappling bag/dummy.

    2. He should be told that this is part of the "multiple attacker bar fight scenario" training.

    3. Have everyone surround him and proceed to kick the **** out of him, just as if he's been taken to the ground in a bar fight.

    The only thing about breaking this one is that he could be one of those guys who has a high pain threshold; so basically, you have to break something before he gets it; so just repeat the scenario above with baseball bats, chains, pool cues, brass knuckles, etc...this time call it the "multiple attacker street fight" scenario...

    If he keeps coming back to class, then tell him he's got "what it takes" to be an NHB cage fighter, and then set him up some fights!

    :happy4:

  10. #40
    Emevas's Avatar
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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    I actually like taking the reverse appraoch of a lot of folks here. When someone is going wild and spazzy, I just go limp and offer no resistance at all. They feel like total idiot as they're there wigging out on essentially a corpse, slapping on chokes, armbars, what have you, with no resistance. They eventually look at you like a jerk and go "Why aren't you resisting" and then you explain what is supposed to be happening. Whenever they push too hard, just go limp again.
    "Emevas,
    You're a scrapper, I like that."-Ronin69

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