Posted On:1/13/2007 6:39pm
Style: Muay Thai
following the tradition of stealing shitty ideas from homeland security, this is the gimmick striking thread. for sharing tales around the campfire of funny things you have done to noobs that dont involve putting your hand in their crotch and wrapping your balls around their face like those filth wrestlers.
note- i might come across as an asshole in these but i am 99% of the time a pretty relaxed sparrer. i just get real fucked off when someone thinks because im small they can push me around.
this guy i train with has real heavy hands when it coes to padwork. like hes trying to destroy them or something with every hit. and he always, and i mean constantly, is correcting me on **** despite being a noob and being wrong most of the time. so when this guy finally joined the sparring class i almost wet my pants with anticipation- first i spent a round beating his ass with my jab. second round it was all about the left roundhouse. poor bastard didnt know what the **** was happening, all he could do was try and fail to take my head off with ugly haymakers. last round i just clinched and threw him on the floor about 8 times. he hasnt been to sparring class much since then...
another time i was doing some basic clinch sparring with a new guy about my size but younger. this poor guy was grunting and almost fuckin shouting with all the effort he was putting in. always funny watching people try and muscle the clinch, particularly when they are weaker than you anyway. i got bored finally and just clamped round the back of his head and crushed him into the ground. guy gets up, looks at me with the saddest expression on his face and says "you werent even trying were you?" i almost laughed in his face, but the best thing about that was he came right back at me and kept trying. i admire his balls, although he could barely keep his head straight by the end.
ok final one- this guy, pretty big maori dude about my height but 20-30 pounds heavier just joined the sparring class. i dont know whether it was a noob mistake or a malicious attempt but we were doing round robin sparring (where you have one guy in the middle continually fighting against 3 guys who swap out every minute. that **** kills you)
anyway, i twisted my knee pretty bad and had to sit out one round. hobbled back and said guys dont kick my leg, none of them did except this noob, first thing he did when his turn was up was kick me square in the knee. at this stage i could hardly move forward cos it fucking hurt so bad, but it didnt hurt much to just stand on my injured leg and throw with the other. so i spent one minute giving this guy the worst fucking hiding of his life, with one leg. my coach would have been pissed at me if he wasnt laughing his ass off at a skinny little angry white kid with one leg chasing/limping after a big maori guy round the gym. finally cornered him in between a bag and a pillar and went vitor belfort in his ass. he has been much cooler since then.
Posted On:1/13/2007 6:59pm
The only thing I really do to take advantage of beginners is parry+counter absolutely every punch they throw, because they're usually the only people I can do that reliably on. Just pisses them off like nothing else until they stop throwing punches completely or rush me with punches, which you duck under and take them down without getting touched.
Tough is not how you act, tough is how you train.
Posted On:1/13/2007 7:13pm
Style: Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu
We are not amused.
"No. Listen to me because I know what I'm talking about here." -- Hannibal
Posted On:1/13/2007 7:37pm
Style: krav maga
Unlike sport striking schools, in krav people come in who just want to defend themselves, and don't know what it will take to do so, so we wait uintil intermediate level classes to spar, but yes we go hard once we get there. Alex, I figure everone wanting to thai box is pretty game so I included this faggoty little disclaimer.
However we do drills where one person attacks and the other defends then switch,all hands, just to show that you gotta swing back or get swarmed on, very frustrating, gets the aggression up when its your turn to swing. they also help to start getting an eye.
So the noobs come at me just throwing slappy sloppy garbage, real fast, but none of it would be anything to worry about getting hit with, but they feel good. I hate to correct them and go "stop throwing garbage", they think I'm just slowing them down, bitching my way out of being embarassed rather than taking care of it like a senior student should.
I've been at this a while, am pretty big even if a lot of it is dead weight, and manually dig and jackhammer for a living. So I crack 'em wrist to wrist to slow them down. really takes the piss out of 'em, stops 'em swing so fast and sloppy, and feeling superior while doing it.
The other good gimmicks that actually help teach 'em to keep their heads covered and not slap block low after garbage are some simple two punch combos on the same side:
-low left jab to the belly I'd never really use, then left hook or smack to head.
-double left hook one low, then one high.
It's fun to make 'em drop their hands SOOO far and leave the head wide open.
Posted On:1/13/2007 7:47pm
****, I'm a post whore.
Forgot the okey-doke:
stick your hand way out to the side like you're gonna swing in with a slap or haymaker, or like your pointing, or it's fun to snap your fingers, then straight punch with the opposite hand.
It's brother the dokey-oke:
when they get wise to this, flag your hand out to the side like yor're faking, when they ignore it to watch the other hand, slap them with the obviously faking hand.
they freak out, lotsa "eh! stop it!"s
It's good for the noobs, it loostens them up, gets them bouncing and breathing, and being okay with getting hit a little.
Posted On:1/13/2007 8:44pm
I have a big, lanky teenager on my fight team. He is 18 years old, 6'4", and weighs about 185 lbs. He has a tendency to get too big for his britches. He doesn't seem to realize that many of the more advanced students and coaches hold back when sparring him because despite his size, he's still just a kid and despite having fought, he's a n00b compared to many of us.
I promoted one of our guys to assistant coach of our fight team. The guy had really put in the work to deserve it, despite having only been with our team for less than a year. He came to us from having trained in Japan (Okinawa) at the same gym as Andy Hug and he really was doing a lot to help assist with the fight team and class, so he truly deserved the promotion. Well, the teenage kid simply didn't comprehend it and was kind of disrespectful to him. Kind of had the attitude of "Why should I listen to you?"
So, I decided to spar with him. Boxing only. My legs were jacked up at the time and I could not kick. I totally fucking clowned him. I was in this kids face, making him miss. I'm not sure he landed a single clean shot. Meanwhile, I was all over him. I was hitting him with stupid **** too.... I backhanded him a couple of times. Not a backfist, but a straight up bitch-slap....
It got him back in line for awhile... LOL
Posted On:1/13/2007 9:16pm
Style: FMA, CMA, & more
Had a student many years back that had had a very small amount of training in another style. No big deal, really, but he also had a little too much pride.
So we're working a simple takedown combination - dude grabs your shirtfront as if to push you up to the wall, you slap the piss out of him, and employ an armbar to take him down. The drill is more about body manipulation and how the joints articulate than it is about the techniques involved.
Anyway, Students A and B are working it, but Student A (the guy mentioned above) just isn't doing things quite right. B isn't having a problem, and A is getting pissed off about the whole thing. So I step in, execute the drill, and A ends up sucking floor as a result. I show him the holes in what he's doing, and allow him to execute the drill on me. He's pissed, and decides he's going to show me just what for, and uses WAY too much power, hyperextending my elbow in the process (hurt for nearly a week after that...).
No problem. Though he'd gotten it mostly right, he'd flubbed a few minor nuances, so I had him grab me again. I executed the slap, literally taking his feet out from under him in the process, and after executing the arm bar, I knelt on both his shoulder and his elbow, pinning him down rather painfully... :spanky:
I told him to tone it down next time, and that I was the teacher, and he was the student, for a reason... He managed to get his ego under control after that, and he and I became good friends...
Posted On:1/13/2007 9:50pm
Originally Posted by Rigel
Unlike sport striking schools, in krav people come in who just want to defend themselves, and don't know what it will take to do so, so we wait uintil intermediate level classes to spar, .
"The only important elements in any society
are the artistic and the criminal,
because they alone, by questioning the society's values,
can force it to change."-Samuel R. Delany
RENDERING GELATINOUS WINDMILL OF DICKS
THIS IS GOING TO BE THE BEST NON-EUCLIDIAN SPLATTERJOUST EVER
It seems that the only people who support anarchy are faggots, who want their pathetic immoral lifestyle accepted by the mainstream society. It wont be so they try to create their own.-Oldman34, friend to all children
Posted On:1/13/2007 9:53pm
how's this thread working out for you?
most of these are just newb beat downs nothing too gimmicky, right?
and the last one sounded like a vanilla newbie slappin' that ended in some grappling anyway.
more gimmicks please.
Posted On:1/13/2007 10:06pm
ok and this goes particularly for that last one- this is a GIMMICK thread. not a "this is how i wasted a newb" thread. just beating on a newb in a non humorous fashion is not what this thread is intended for. there needs to be lol factor- beating them with a ridiculous move or in a ridiculous fashion.
i dont even know what the **** that last story was about, and dude what the **** werent you wearing wraps for. that **** is yuck, you bleed on the bags at our gym you fucking carry it home, disinfect it, then carry it back to the gym.
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