Thread: RMA Blast from the past
8/04/2003 4:56am, #1
For all you old time internet hogs who used to read Rec.Martial-Arts I've found an old copy of the interview with the man who tamed GiChoke.
Greeting, fellow martial artist.
Please allow me introducing myself. I am Dr. Yang Sze, EVIL MASTER OF
Allow me relate you this story young man who visit my kwoon.
He come my kwoon wear Brazil jiujitsu t-shirt and he say his name
Gichoke. He asking me I teaching grappling technique. I say no, young
Blowchunk, I teaching taichi chuan. He getting mad and say my name
Gichoke not Blowchunk, then he disrespectful taichi chuan. He say
taichi for old man like me, then say his Brazil jiujitsu technique
beat my technique. I say young Fudgepoke, you make me laughing,
So he again getting mad and say my name Gichoke not Fudgepoke and
challenge me to fighting. I say you silly little high school boy, go
back rolling around on floor with other boy. MWAHAHAHA!!!!
My evil-style taichi chuan is most best combat system, if proper
technique no can defend! Only practicing chi powers making TRUE
MARTIAL ARTIST and you young Sheeppoke are weak in ways of chi! But
silly little boy insist so we go into my training room. He ask where
mat for floor because my kwoon floor hard wood. I say no mat for
evil-style taichi young Gijoke! MWAHAHAHA!!!!
Now he getting afraid but he too stupid to leave. So I say you
attacking me now, young Gispunk! And he try to shoot under my arms and
taking me to floor, but I using internal strength technique from
evil-style taichi and bitchslapping Gichunk into wall! MWAHAHAHA!!!!
Many time he attacking and many time I bitch-slapping silly boy. But
silly boy still attacking so I change to deadly dimmak technique. Only
using one finger striking and only touching Gichoad now, but every
time he attacking and every time he falling to floor scream in pain
and silly boy crying about hard wooden floor! MWAHAHAHA!!!!
So now I using deadly pressure-point chinna grappling technique and
flipping silly boy into air and landing on hard floor. I say now I
demonstrating more weakness Brazil jiujitsu system. I say now I
demonstrating Chinese animal style kung fu, and my style is dog-style
kung fu. So I blow whistle and my attack dog Fang coming into kwoon!
Fang attacking young Gichimp and Fang biting silly boys arms and face.
I say Brazil jiujitsu not complete martial art, can no defend against
But stupid boy saying screw you, so I kicking silly boy in head while
he wrestling Fang. So I say see young Gipoke Brazil jiujitsu technique
no can defend multiple attackers! MWAHAHAHA!!!!
After silly boy bleeding long time I tell Fang go away. So I asking
young Gipuke you believing in chi powers now? He say no, so I say I
now using ancient Chinese secret art of feng-shui against him. Stupid
boy asking what is feng-shui? So I say feng-shui most ancient art of
manipulate chi power by rearrange furniture. Very powerful system, can
no defend! So silly boy laughing and say you will defeat me using
interior decoration? Then he disrespectful feng-shui so I
demonstrating. I kicking coffee table into silly boys knee, then I
move chair behind silly boy, then kicking Gijoke against chair. Silly
boy head is flying into desk corner and cracking head open. So I say
see silly boy this furniture position much worse for your chi!
But STILL stupid boy no give up, so now I using most deadly technique
of no touching chi power KONG JING!!!! So I saying you call your name
Gichoke so now I showing you CHI CHOKE! MWAHAHAHA!!!!
So I standing across kwoon from silly boy but I using kong jing power
and choking stupid young Gispunk. After silly boy waking up I asking
now you believing chi powers? Gichunk get down on hands and knees and
begging forgiveness, asking please me teaching him secrets of
evil-style taichi. He finally learning that Brazil jiujitsu technique
no can defend against chi powers!!! So I saying young Gipunk, you are
weak in ways of chi but you have demonstrating much willpower in our
combat. So I teaching you evil-style taichi!!!
EMBRACE DARK SIDE OF CHI, AND WE CAN RULING WORLD TOGETHER AS FATHER
AND SON!!!! MWAHAHAHA!!!!
So Gispunk becoming Dr. Yang Sze first American student and giving up
silly Brazil jiujitsu! But I no am teaching Gichoad true secret of
evil-style taichi! When silly boy knocked out from hitting desk, I
using ancient Chinese secret. No Dr. Yang not using Calgon!
I using hypnosis on silly boy so when I doing phoney kong jing
technique silly boy thinking he choking! Now I renaming Gichoke as new
name Chijoke, and he serving Dr. Yang as personal slave! MWAHAHAHA!!!!
I teaching Chijoke fen shou technique, making silly boy to cleaning my
toilet with bare hands! MWAHAHAHA!!!! And in return I teaching Chijoke
phoney taichi techniques I learn from David Carradine video tapes and
exercise I saying is chi kung really from Richard Simmons "Sweating To
The Oldies" videos! MWAHAHAHA!!!! And Chijoke paying dollar every
month for phoney taichi, and if silly boy asking about technique not
effective I say take twenty year to master.
And if young Chijoke doubt power then he remembering back to him
choking with kong jing power!!! Silly boy mind very weak easy to
So you maybe asking why I doing terrible mean things to young Chijoke?
Because I am Dr. Yang Sze, EVIL MASTER OF CHI!!!
MWAHAHAHA!!!! MWAHAHAHA!!!! MWAHAHAHATaking responsibility for my actions since 1989