Thread: The hilarious thread!
1/12/2007 5:09am, #131
- Join Date
- Feb 2006
What do you call nuts on the wall?
What do you call nuts on your chest?
What do you call nuts on your chin? (highlight below for answer)
1/12/2007 10:58am, #132
Superman is superhorny, so he approached Wonderwoman and requests a little horizontal tango. She gives him the cold shoulder and leaves. But later that day, Superman is flying over a field and sees Wonderwoman laying in the grass, spread eagle and naked with her eyes closed. He figures she changed her mind, so he swoops down, hammers the **** out of her, finishes in less than 3 seconds, and flies away. Wonderwoman opens her eyes and says, "What the **** was that?"
"I'm not sure," says the Invisble Man, "But my ass hurts...""Reason is a choice. Wishes and whims are not facts, nor are they a means to discovering them. Reason is our only way to grasping reality -- it's our basic tool of survival. We are free to evade the effort of thinking, to reject reason, but we are not free to avoid the penalty of the abyss we refuse to see."
- Terry Goodkind, "Faith of the Fallen"
1/12/2007 11:06am, #133
- Join Date
- Jan 2007
Three guys were working at the construction site. Each of them were tired of getting the same lunch over and over again. So they made a pact that they would kill themselves if they were given the same lunch again.
So the next day came and the first guy saw the same lunch and jumped off the high frame of the building. The second guy saw the same lunch and jumped off too. The third guy sighed and saw the same lunch and jumped off too killing himself.
At the funeral the wives were crying except for the third guy's wife who was laughing. The two wives go up to her asking why she was laughing...The third guy's wife replies "I'm laughing because he makes his own lunch!"
1/12/2007 11:09am, #134
Sky has just won the rights to screen the All Japan National Origami Challenge.
Unfortunatley it's only going to be available on paper view.
1/13/2007 2:59am, #135
Did you hear? Wing Chun was found to be the oldest martial art in the world. It's so old they don't have lineage scrolls, they've got lineage stone tablets.
1/13/2007 12:25pm, #136
An old woman goes to the store to buy some dog food for her dog. The girl at the register tells her, "I'm sorry, ma'am, but I can't sell you dog food unless you can prove you have a dog. We've had complaints of older people buying dog food to eat it themselves."
The old woman grumbles, goes home to pick up the dog, and brings it back to the store so she can buy dog food.
The next week, the old returns to buy cat food for her cat and she is given the same line. Muttering, she goes home, picks up the cat, and brings it to the store so she can buy cat food.
The following week, the old woman arrives at the store with a small box with a hole in the lid. She walks right up to the cashier and says, "You guys want proof of everything, so stick your finger in here."
The cashier nervously sticks her finger in the box and moves it around. She takes it out and, at the old woman's request, smells it. "Gross," she yells, "That smells like ****."
The old woman nods, "It is. Now can I buy some toilet paper?""Reason is a choice. Wishes and whims are not facts, nor are they a means to discovering them. Reason is our only way to grasping reality -- it's our basic tool of survival. We are free to evade the effort of thinking, to reject reason, but we are not free to avoid the penalty of the abyss we refuse to see."
- Terry Goodkind, "Faith of the Fallen"
1/13/2007 2:07pm, #137
a guy dies and goes to hell.
when he arrives he is met by satan himeslf. satan explains that he has a choice of where to spend eternity. they come to a hallway with three doors. behind the first door, is a few guys sitting in a room full of every insect imaginable, crawling all over the guys in the room. the man declines. in the next room, another bunch of guys are sitting in a room full of snakes, slithering around the floor and all over the guys in the room. the man declines. in the last room, the is a few guys sitting in a room knee deep in **** while drinking coffee. the man decides that's not as bad as the first two rooms, and agrees. he enters the room and pulls up a chair, and as soon as he sits down satan says:
okay guys, coffee break's over. Back on your heads.
1/13/2007 2:08pm, #138
have we done blonde jokes yet?
why did the blonde **** the mexican guy?
her teacher told her to do an essay.
1/14/2007 1:51am, #139
I don't think you guys understand the point of this thread.Captain's Log: Just a little update for all my TRUE and HONEST friends out there:
1) I am STRAIGHT! I am STRAIGHT! Get it through your thick skulls, numbskulls!
2) My name is not Ian Brandon Something.
3) Kacey is coming with me now. I have stolen her from the other Christian Weston Chandler.
REMINDER: I am still the one and only true creator of sonichu and rosechu electric hedgehog pokemon
1/14/2007 1:54am, #140
If there ever were a thread that deserved to stay on topic, it was this one. Why do you all hate America so much?"No. Listen to me because I know what I'm talking about here." -- Hannibal