Jalon Anderson AKA Happah: delusional pseudo scientist

**BSDaemon** · Posted On: 1/05/2007 5:39pm

Jalon Anderson AKA Happah

There has been mention of this person on Bullshido in the past, but it dates back years ago and the madness continues so I think its time a proper investigation is done on this individual.

In a nutshell, Jalon Anderson is a homophobic dragonball z chi-master, 3d-artist, and blogger that focuses on deep meanings contained within images, icons, photographs. He finds asymmetry in images to be deeply disturbing. He is also obsessed with using very simplified abstractions to explain biological processes, without having a shred of medical knowledge to back it up. He uses a twisted logic to provide simple explanations to prove his crackpot theories.

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Jalon Anderson has self published the following books: (emphasis mine)

Happeh Theory - A Linear Approach

"Happeh Theory is a combination of theoretical constructions and real life facts about the structure and function of the human body. The goal of Happeh Theory is to provide people with facts and ideas that should reassure them that if they practice martial arts or something similar, they will, without a doubt, change their bodies far beyond teaching it to fight or making it very healthy.

Happeh Theory is designed to be taught in a seemingly chaotic manner. Happeh Theory provides the reader with ideas and tells the reader they are connected. The learning process is not necessarily the ideas from Happeh Theory. The learning process is from the reader making the connections between the ideas.

While attempting to teach Happeh Theory, I have encountered students who are unable to think in this manner. They would like to have things spelled out for them in a logical way. This book is an attempt to reach people who think in this way."

Masturbation will make you blind and crippled.

Masturbation will make you blind and crippled as well as causing many other health problems. This book is a simple introduction to why this happens. Various ways of viewing the body are presented with illustrative drawings or pictures. The explanations try, in a simple and familiar way, to describe why and how the body is damaged by masturabtion. The same symptoms are associated with excessive sex or with gay people. This simple book focuses on masturbation. The book includes a self examination for the reader to perform on themselves. This self examination should provide the reader with a "I saw it with my own eyes, I felt it with my own hands" reason to accept the theoretical explanations presented in the book.

PDF sample from the book

A Primer on how the Human Body works

This book was written for people involved in martial arts, yoga, pilates or some other body changing exercise that is designed to uplift the person to a higher level of existence. This book is meant to provide ways of understanding the changes that those practices enact on the body. The book is also a conversation piece. There are 3 or 4 ideas within the book that, if taken to heart, will change anyone's worldview.

PDF sample from the book

A Primer on how the Human Body works - Book II

This book provides various unique ways of viewing the body that can be useful to regular people. The book is geared towards people who are interested in self improvement of the mind and body. People interested in martial arts, yoga, etc. This book is a continuation of the first Primer on how the Human Body works.

PDF sample from the book

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Jalon Anderson is responsible for the following websites:

http://www.angrypenis.org/ - This is Jalon andersons main site

http://www.happeh.com/ - The Happeh theory website

blogs:

http://happehsecretsoflife.blogspot.com/ Here he explains that women are succubus that suck the energy out of men with sex.

http://masterofbation.blogspot.com/ Here he explains the evil effect masturbation has on the body. He finds pictures of guys giving the thumbs up then draws penises in their hands to show how they got stuck like that permanently because they masturbate too much. Example:

http://evilplots.blogspot.com/ - he rants about "Evil Plots", mostly about how horribly evil modern medicine is.

http://humanpyramids.blogspot.com/ - Wave theory? I can't even begin to read all this.

http://cyclopeaneye.blogspot.com/ - More insanity

http://dbzreallife.blogspot.com/ - Here he explains how dragon ball Z applies to real life.

http://youareabigpenis.blogspot.com/ - Aparently, we are big penises

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Happah Fu
Here you can find Jalon Anderson's "Kung Fu" blogs. Aparently he is writing a book on martial arts.

He thinks that he can move things with his mind.

Here he explains how you can see energy around people

He explains how to strengthen the butt muscles by putting a drum stick or book in your butt crack.

His High Level Martial Arts Theory is full of philosophical claptrap and he seems to consider real martial arts to be above fighting.

Mental Kung Fu

Many people think kung fu is punching and kicking. That is all it is for many people. That is enough for many people. Some people need or want more. For those people, kung fu principles also apply to daily life. Every interaction with another person, every action in your daily life can be done according to kung fu principles. Awareness, deceit, aggressivenss, passiveness, retreat, patience, practice.....all of these things apply to daily life.

So much BS... Head hurting. This man can explain everything with nothing.

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Jalon anderson has 20 videos on youtube

Hear the voice of madness...

Here he examines gay porn for asymmetry:
[media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tsXMszBtzuk[/media]

Here he explains what makes a person a "TightAss"... anal penetration!
[media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tsXMszBtzuk[/media]

How human energy fields repel eachother
[media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wv0VGvHPNr8[/media]

Here he explains kung fu "Grounding" and how improper martial arts training is like being high on drugs:
[media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oOro59LRdBc[/media]

Theres just too much madness here.... I can't catalog it all in one post, my head is about to explode.

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Who is Jalon Anderson?

# whois angrypenis.org

jalon anderson
Deadly Dood Inc
1546 29th Ave
San Francisco, CA 94122

VIEW WITH GOOGLE MAPS

Phone: +1.14152421452
E-mail: jalonzini@yahoo.com

He must be seething with anger (not to mention self loathing) having to live in the gay capital of the USA.

Hope you've enjoyed this glimpse into the mind of a madman... I'm scared.

**datdamnmachine** · Posted On: 1/05/2007 5:49pm

Originally Posted by Bud Shi Dist

http://happehsecretsoflife.blogspot.com/ Here he explains that women are succubus that suck the energy out of men with sex.

...but isn't that actually true?

Well, if by energy you mean sperm...

**Odacon** · Posted On: 1/05/2007 5:50pm

I thought I saw some junk in my time, but this takes several cakes and a pork pie.

**Shawarma** · Posted On: 1/05/2007 5:52pm

Guy's been around for ages. He's insane. Not a mcdojoist, he's insane.

**ironlurker** · Posted On: 1/05/2007 5:54pm

I googled his name and the first link started off "Jalon Anderson. Masturbation will make you blind and crippled as well as causing many other health problems."
Did you see his T-shirts?
http://www.zazzle.com/Happpeh/produc...42814566132551

**BSDaemon** · Posted On: 1/05/2007 6:03pm

Yes he is quite nuts

http://happehsecretsoflife.blogspot....67530200075061

So we are standing there watching and a mexican guy walks up. He positions himself at the feet end of the black man. He is standing maybe 10 or 20 feet away. He is not right next to the black man like the paramedics were. Then the mexican man raised both of his hands up in the air with both of them bent at the elbow so his upper arms were parallel to the ground and his hands pointed to the sky. He stood with his left foot locked straight and his right foot outwards.

I bet you think I said all that for nothing right? People stand the way they do and that is all there is to it. Right? That is what you guys try to tell me. A person's posture means nothing. Right?

I watch the mexican guy for a few minutes. I knew exactly what he was doing. He was putting energy on the black man to try and bring him back to life. I turned to the guy I was standing next to and I said "Look. That mexican guy is trying to bring that man back to life with spiritual stuff". The man just kind of nodded his head. I don't know if he believed me or not. Where I live, people are polite. They also know that there are strange things in the world. No matter what kind of weird stuff they might hear, they nod their heads and smile politely. They are trained to learn from the weird things in the world.

We stand there some more and the man walks off to talk to someone else. I watch the mexican man some more doing his thing. He keeps doing what he is doing. Some stupid policeman who does not understand what is going on begins edging himself in between the mexican guy and the guy on the ground. Like he thought the mexican man needed to be stopped. I nudged the cop so he stayed away from the mexican man. I did it from 10 feet away. I bet you don't believe that either. The cop moved whether you believe it or not.

I gave up. The black guy had been on the ground for almost 10 minutes by now. They were doing everything to him and nothing was changing. Even the black people had started to walk. I turned around and left.

I got up to the street and then I hear this cheering. I thought to myself "No Fucking Way!" I turned around and rushed back to the beach. The drowned guy was alive! And guess what? The mexican guy was exactly where I left him. Standing towards the feet of the black man.

That mexican man brought the black man back to life by putting energy on him.

**BSDaemon** · Posted On: 1/05/2007 6:34pm

I found one more of his blogs
http://mrgyinfubagua.blogspot.com/

This blog is a personal memory collection area. There are no kung fu tips, kung fu fighting tips, kung fu training tips, nothing of interest to anyone involved in fighting or using martial arts. This is for people that have moved past that.

Aparently, he is a practitioner of Yin Fu Ba Gua trained for 3 years under a "Michael Guen"

Here an article on Michael Guen.

Martial arts are nowadays often referred to as a sport. would you agree with this definition?

I share the same view as Gong Baozai that there is a marked distinction between sport martial arts and orthodox martial arts. Martial arts can be used as a sport; I was a full contact competitor in my twenties; the experience was invaluable. But the sport mentality is limited. As a life practice, I do not advocate the sport mentality. Gong Baozai taught that authentic martial arts absolutely cannot be used to compete, because the original techniques and philosophy are designed for life and death survival.

I.E. The old too deadly to spar

In his blog Happeh talks of being treated like an outcast in the class but it sounds like this kung fu is really helping to foster his particular kind of insanity.