232537 Bullies, 4063 online  
  • Register
Our Sponsors:

Results 1 to 10 of 24
Page 1 of 3 1 23 LastLast
Sponsored Links Spacer Image
  1. M1K3 is offline
    M1K3's Avatar

    Senior Member

    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Location
    Southern NJ
    Posts
    2,367

    Posted On:
    11/29/2006 9:17am


     Style: submission grappling

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!

    New martial art - Yellow NinChunKiDo

    Calling all bullshidoists. Tired of rolling in glass, lave and sewage? Of having your awesome power being stifled by rules? Of having your body parts cruelly twisted and battered by SPORTS fighters? THIS IS YOUR CHANCE!!! I need help discovering a new ancient martial art.

    I am looking to develop a new martial art with an ancient linage that will be the r34l d34dly. Its name is “Yellow NinChunKiDo” !! It mixes the deadly powers of the ninja with Dim Mak, Chi Balls, Ki Blasts, Chain Wrist Locks and Camouflage Magic Pants.

    FEEL THE POWER!!!

    Multicolored extra wide Velcro belts/sashes with sparkles, stripes and Chinese looking writing!
    Official documentation of rank and awesomeness!
    Certification of mystic powers!

    I need assistance developing the many theories, principles, and other untestable concepts that will make up the core of this d34dly art.

    Due to the deadliness of this art all training must be done without sparring, or even better yet, by yourself, alone, in an empty room, in an empty house. If you live in an apartment or attached dwelling you are required by LAW to warn your neighbors so that they are not injured due to errant CHI balls or KI blasts!

    Sign up early and you will receive a FREE flat, smooth energy stone from an ancient river known for its AWESOME powers. This stone is to be held between the knees while practicing the ACIENT ‘Rabid Goat Riding Stance’.

    Please help, titles and rewards for all!
  2. OnceLost is offline
    OnceLost's Avatar

    Here's looking at you, squid.

    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    Location
    North Florida
    Posts
    2,860

    Posted On:
    11/29/2006 10:02am

    Join us... or die
     Style: Ke?po, MMA ultra-newb

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Can I be a Dancing Buddha Flower Master?

    Better yet, can we combine Yellow NinChunKiDo with the training style I developed for my own martial art, Hop-di-do? See, HDD is all about visualization techniques. In class, the instructor stands in front and performs a technique. The students then kneel and meditate on that technique, visualizing themself performing the technique in a variety of situations. Not only are the techniques too deadly to spar with AND too deadly to practice with a partner, they're ALSO too deadly to practice by yourself. That's why you have to visualize them!!

    Once you reach black belt, a process that takes at least $4,300, you can expand your visualizations by practicing them at home. You kneel, meditate, and visualize yourself driving to the school, then visualize yourself in class, than visualize the teacher, then visualize yourself visualizing the technique. The only thing that you can't visualize is the monthly payments of JUST $29.00, plus a monthly handling fee, a chi ball recovery fee, an aural realignment fee, and an extra 25% that you tithe to the Shaolin Temple. Just make your monthly checks out for $275 and remember that my friends call me "Cash."
  3. M1K3 is offline
    M1K3's Avatar

    Senior Member

    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Location
    Southern NJ
    Posts
    2,367

    Posted On:
    11/29/2006 10:11am


     Style: submission grappling

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by OnceLost
    Can I be a Dancing Buddha Flower Master?

    Better yet, can we combine Yellow NinChunKiDo with the training style I developed for my own martial art, Hop-di-do? See, HDD is all about visualization techniques. In class, the instructor stands in front and performs a technique. The students then kneel and meditate on that technique, visualizing themself performing the technique in a variety of situations. Not only are the techniques too deadly to spar with AND too deadly to practice with a partner, they're ALSO too deadly to practice by yourself. That's why you have to visualize them!!

    Once you reach black belt, a process that takes at least $4,300, you can expand your visualizations by practicing them at home. You kneel, meditate, and visualize yourself driving to the school, then visualize yourself in class, than visualize the teacher, then visualize yourself visualizing the technique. The only thing that you can't visualize is the monthly payments of JUST $29.00, plus a monthly handling fee, a chi ball recovery fee, an aural realignment fee, and an extra 25% that you tithe to the Shaolin Temple. Just make your monthly checks out for $275 and remember that my friends call me "Cash."
    You are truly wise Dancing Buddha Flower Master. Perhaps we can take this one step further and have the instructor simply visualize the technique and thru the use of MYSTIC CHI TRANSFERENCE have the student absorb the technique which is too d34dly to even show.

    I see a whole collection of MYSTIC CHI TRANSFERENCE visualization DVDs in the future.
  4. saturnjunkie is offline
    saturnjunkie's Avatar

    Registered Member

    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Location
    harrisburg
    Posts
    334

    Posted On:
    11/29/2006 10:14am


     Style: FMA & judo-ultra noob

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    You're like the L.Ron Hubbard of martial arts man!
  5. OnceLost is offline
    OnceLost's Avatar

    Here's looking at you, squid.

    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    Location
    North Florida
    Posts
    2,860

    Posted On:
    11/29/2006 10:20am

    Join us... or die
     Style: Ke?po, MMA ultra-newb

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Yes, there will be clinics about purging yourself of the other martial arts, which are obviously inferior because they can be practiced...if something is REALLY TRULY effective, it can not be practiced at all!
  6. M1K3 is offline
    M1K3's Avatar

    Senior Member

    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Location
    Southern NJ
    Posts
    2,367

    Posted On:
    11/29/2006 6:54pm


     Style: submission grappling

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by OnceLost
    Yes, there will be clinics about purging yourself of the other martial arts, which are obviously inferior because they can be practiced...if something is REALLY TRULY effective, it can not be practiced at all!
    There can also be study at home dvds for martial arts purging, and a MYSTIC KI ENIMA formula to complete the purge and purify martial visualization artist (MVA):qgreenjum :qgreenjum ... all for a small fee.
  7. TKD Black Belt is offline
    TKD Black Belt's Avatar

    Keeeeee-Yeah!

    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Location
    In a van down by the river.
    Posts
    2,230

    Posted On:
    11/29/2006 7:07pm


     Style: Whoo-Hoo-Fu!

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by M1K3
    You are truly wise Dancing Buddha Flower Master. Perhaps we can take this one step further and have the instructor simply visualize the technique and thru the use of MYSTIC CHI TRANSFERENCE have the student absorb the technique which is too d34dly to even show.

    I see a whole collection of MYSTIC CHI TRANSFERENCE visualization DVDs in the future.
    * the humble student approaches and bows, passes wind ever so gently and blames it on the person next to him *

    A whole series of seminars can be brought into play wherein we help people who have failed to receive the mystic transfer of the techniques and are lacking in the general flow of the art. Additional seminars can be created at each Sash so that the student is not visualizing too hard for fear of eventually exploding their heads with too much Cheese power!

    TKD

    THIS IS NOT AN EXIT


    "Ladies and gentlemen, the pilot has instructed everyone to sit the **** down and shut the **** up." Henry Rollins
  8. justabill is offline
    justabill's Avatar

    Registered Member

    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    My Couch
    Posts
    253

    Posted On:
    11/29/2006 7:11pm


     Style: not training/injured

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by M1K3
    Calling all bullshidoists. Tired of rolling in glass, lave and sewage? Of having your awesome power being stifled by rules? Of having your body parts cruelly twisted and battered by SPORTS fighters? THIS IS YOUR CHANCE!!! I need help discovering a new ancient martial art.

    I am looking to develop a new martial art with an ancient linage that will be the r34l d34dly. Its name is “Yellow NinChunKiDo” !! It mixes the deadly powers of the ninja with Dim Mak, Chi Balls, Ki Blasts, Chain Wrist Locks and Camouflage Magic Pants.

    FEEL THE POWER!!!

    Multicolored extra wide Velcro belts/sashes with sparkles, stripes and Chinese looking writing!
    Official documentation of rank and awesomeness!
    Certification of mystic powers!

    I need assistance developing the many theories, principles, and other untestable concepts that will make up the core of this d34dly art.

    Due to the deadliness of this art all training must be done without sparring, or even better yet, by yourself, alone, in an empty room, in an empty house. If you live in an apartment or attached dwelling you are required by LAW to warn your neighbors so that they are not injured due to errant CHI balls or KI blasts!

    Sign up early and you will receive a FREE flat, smooth energy stone from an ancient river known for its AWESOME powers. This stone is to be held between the knees while practicing the ACIENT ‘Rabid Goat Riding Stance’.

    Please help, titles and rewards for all!
    Can we use the mystical runes of Stav too please?
  9. OnceLost is offline
    OnceLost's Avatar

    Here's looking at you, squid.

    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    Location
    North Florida
    Posts
    2,860

    Posted On:
    11/29/2006 7:54pm

    Join us... or die
     Style: Ke?po, MMA ultra-newb

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    We can do a couple of videos involving group fighting AND no touch knockouts - there can be a crowd of people and when the instructor walks through the crowd waving his hands, the people just begin to drop without even being touched! Oh wait...systema covered that one.
    Damn.
  10. Epicurus is offline

    I'm grindin' 'till I'm tired...

    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    Location
    Ontario, Canada
    Posts
    1,492

    Posted On:
    11/29/2006 9:07pm


     Style: Judo. Some BJJ/Kickboxing

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Don't forget to promote yourself to 10th Dan and charge people lots of money to work their way up the ladder. Once someone else is 9th dan but still wants to keep shelling out cash to rise in rank, add five or six more black belt dans and promote yourself to 15th so that you can keep moving people up while remaining the undisputed best.
Page 1 of 3 1 23 LastLast

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  

Powered by vBulletin™© contact@vbulletin.com vBulletin Solutions, Inc. 2011 All rights reserved.