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  1. Backdraft is offline

    Senior Member

    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    Umeĺ, Sweden/ Paris, France
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    1,235

    Posted On:
    11/20/2006 5:04pm


     Style: Shootfighting

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!

    Berserker Viking Arts - New wave of bullshido? (Threads merged)

    Alright, I'm sorry if this has already been asessed before, I did'nt find anything when I searched for it here.

    www.vikingfighting.com

    Seems to me like the bullshido hive is looking for a new angle, and this time it's vikings! They even pull the deadly argument, and this gem:


    LS: Yes, OK. Speaking of beating people up – you say you can defeat anyone with BERZERKER™ Viking Fighting. Do you really think you can beat any of the professional fighters in the UFC, Pride and K1?

    SS: Yes – by Thor! Those guys are just pretty boys in spandex hot pants... They don't know anything about real combat!! In the old days, the berzerkers used to rape guys like that just for fun... I'm joking, but what I really mean is – when was the last time you were attacked by someone dressed in hot pants, wearing leather gloves? And I'm not talking about your wife here! Hahaha...

    LS: Well, it hasn't happened yet. So how would you fight a UFC fighter then?

    SS: On the street, I'd smash his head in with my warhammer. Or maybe just have my friends surround him and then windmill and stomp him to death.

    In a ring, I would cheat. You know – eye gouge, fish hook, hit the throat, bite the groin, stuff like that. A lot of people say that biting doesn't work in combat. Well, ask them again after I've bitten their nuts off! The Vikings used biting a lot – and trust me, it works!
    Pretty damn awful, and really, really sad...
  2. Bluto Blutarsky is offline

    Senior Member

    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    NYC!
    Posts
    1,244

    Posted On:
    11/20/2006 5:14pm


     Style: Mostly drinking. E-chaun

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    If berserker viking arts involve ingesting of a healthy dose of sleipnier's dung (aka PCP) then they could train them in tiddly winks and the "berserker" would still win.
  3. Axelton is offline

    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    Tucson, AZ
    Posts
    1,824

    Posted On:
    11/20/2006 5:18pm


     Style: Wing Chun, Hung Gar

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    sounds like a bunch of medieval reinactors have gotten drunk off their viking kool-aid.
  4. Backdraft is offline

    Senior Member

    Join Date
    Jun 2006
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    Umeĺ, Sweden/ Paris, France
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    Posted On:
    11/20/2006 5:22pm


     Style: Shootfighting

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Anyone calling themselves Grandmaster Sven S. Svensson cannot be taken seriously anyway.
    It Swedish for John Smith Doe...
  5. Dirty Rooster is offline

    Registered Member

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    Jan 2006
    Location
    Northumbria
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    566

    Posted On:
    11/20/2006 5:24pm


     Style: Basic Self-Defence

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    That guy sounds great! He has a real sense of humour.

    What's the problem here? (I haven't yet read the website)
  6. Backdraft is offline

    Senior Member

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    Jun 2006
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    Umeĺ, Sweden/ Paris, France
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    Posted On:
    11/20/2006 5:26pm


     Style: Shootfighting

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Well then read the damn website.

    Guys, here's a gem for you:

    I AM BEST IN WORLD!!! goto top
    Post in English >> Simple question from wich I know the dogmatic answer: Yes!

    BY THOR!!! IF YOU KNOW ANSWER THEN WHY ASK QUESTION?!!!! TOTAL PATHETIC FOOLS LIKE YOU PISS ME OFF BEYOND NO END!!!!

    IF I NOT BEST FIGHTER IN WORLD THEN WHO IS?!!! STEVEN SEGAL?!! OR MAYBE CHUCK NORIS?!! OR PERHAPS SOME PATHETIC MMA "FIGHTER" IN PINK UFC TUTU MAYBE?!!! OR WHO?!!!

    I HAVE BEATEN AND HUMILIATE AND SENT TO HOSPITAL EMERGENCY WARD WITH BRAIN DAMAGE EVERY PATHETIC AND WEAK AND SCRAWNY LOSER WHO CHALLENGE AND FOUGHT ME!!! NO ONE HAVE EVER BEATEN ME EVER!!! NO ONE!!!!! EXCEPT MY FATHER BERZERKER SUPREME GRANDMASTER AND BREAKER OF BONES THOR SVENSSON!!!!

    BY THOR MY FIGHT RECORD IS 499 WINS AND ONE DRAW AND ONLY TWO LOSSES!!!!

    ONE LOSS WAS AGAINST FATHER THOR AND ONE LOSS WAS DISQUALIFICATION BECAUSE I DIDN'T NOT UNDERSTAND PATHETIC RUSSIA CAGE FIGHT RULES PROPERLY ENOUGH!! NO THROAT STRIKE OR BITING TO GROIN ALLOWED!!! RIDICULOUS!!! SO I LOST FIGHT BECAUSE OF PATHETIC RULE AND NOT BECAUSE BAD FIGHTING!!!! BUT RUSSIAN OPPONENT LOST HIS NUT AND GOT MUCH MUTILATED SCROTUM SO IN STREETFIGHT I WOULD BE WINNER FOR SURE!!!!!

    IF YOU DONT BELIEVE I AM BEST FIGHTER IN WORLD THEN COME TO SWEDEN AND SEE FOR YOURSELF!!! BY THOR I WILL SMASH YOUR UGLY FACE IN WITH MY WARHAMMER!!!! OR MAYBE JUST KILL YOU WITH A SPOON JUST FOR EXTRA HUMILATION!!!!

    HAIL THOR!!!

    GRANDMASTER SVEN S. SVENSSON
    http://www.vikingfighting.com/ForumT...?tid=247&ps=25


    To much berserker mushroom is not good mojo... And these dipshits have a school in the states!

    http://www.vikingfighting.com/Schools.aspx

    By Jesus! What the ****!?
  7. Backdraft is offline

    Senior Member

    Join Date
    Jun 2006
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    Umeĺ, Sweden/ Paris, France
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    Posted On:
    11/20/2006 5:26pm


     Style: Shootfighting

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    I'm sorry for the double post, computer problems.
    Last edited by Backdraft; 11/20/2006 5:30pm at .
  8. Dirty Rooster is offline

    Registered Member

    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    Northumbria
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    566

    Posted On:
    11/20/2006 5:29pm


     Style: Basic Self-Defence

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    ""Vikings stand and fight because if you run, you'll only die tired"
    -- Old viking saying"

    From the webpage : proof this is just a mickeytake, and a rather good one.

    Let's book grandmaster sven and his warhammer ... only $4000 plus expenses.

    "ADVANCED BERZERKER™ 1: Viking Anger Management - How to Build Up a Berzerker Frenzy ($69.95)"

    This is great, and it gets better ;

    -Defeating punchers, kickers and grapplers

    -Defeating men, women, children and old people

    -Defeating animals

    -Defeating other Vikings

    -Defeating the ones who defeat other Vikings

    I taste Monty Python ...
    Last edited by Dirty Rooster; 11/20/2006 5:32pm at .
  9. Epicurus is offline

    I'm grindin' 'till I'm tired...

    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    Location
    Ontario, Canada
    Posts
    1,492

    Posted On:
    11/20/2006 5:32pm


     Style: Judo. Some BJJ/Kickboxing

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    This site is great comedy, but it shames me to see Vikings associated with this junk. Yet another fighter who thinks that nut-biting and fishhooking will beat a trained fighter in the street...

    P.S: Vikings are awesome.
  10. Virus is offline
    Virus's Avatar

    Senior Member

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    Aug 2005
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    Australia
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    Posted On:
    11/20/2006 5:32pm

    Join us... or die
     Style: Judo

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Sounds like something one of us would write for fun. I like it.
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