10/11/2006 1:28am, #1
The Martial Arts Zombie Survival Thread (56k no)
With Halloween fast approaching, I will endeavor to condense my vast zombie knowledge into a single thread about how best to defend yourself against zombies in an unarmed situation. Lets face the facts, when the zombies raise will you be ready? If you plan to survive, you must be prepared to fight the undead in unarmed combat.
So, what is a zombie? A zombie is a reanimated corpse that seeks to feed on the living. They attack for one reason…food! Contrary to recent “Hollywood” movies zombies are not incredibly fast nor are they incredibly slow. It all depends on what stage of decomposition they are in. That being said, most zombies are slow, but do not let this deceive you, they are very deadly and the quickest way end up on the diner plate is to be unprepared.
Lets take a look at the enemy…
As individuals, they are not too dangerous unless you get cornered. For the most part, you can just run away. However, in groups they are quite formidable.
When picking a zombie savvy martial art, you must keep in mind the nature of the enemy. You can only kill a zombie by destroying the brain or severing the head from the body. Therefore, most unarmed martial arts cannot help you in killing a zombie. A neck crank might work in a pinch but grappling a zombie on the ground is a terrible idea (more on this in a moment). So, what martial art will work against zombies?
Before I answer that question you must know a few things. The advice I give in this thread is meant for a real life encounter with the undead, it is not meant for fighting in a cage against another human with rules and referees. You are fighting for your life and no rules apply. Zombies have one goal and that is to kill you and everyone you love!
Lets get to it…
What works and what does not and what your goal should be:
Plain and simple your goal is to escape, to live! You want to avoid the mouth at all costs, knock the zombie back or throw him down and move on. If a large crowd of zombies attacks you, you want to escape and not be bogged down in fighting a group of zombies, as they will surround you, pull you down and eat you.
From best to worst….
Aikido is a devastating effective martial art against zombies. Zombies attack with both arms outstretched and have slow reflexes. Therefore, the wristlocks and flowing motions of Aikido allow you to toss aside a zombie attacker while staying safe.
Wing Chun is almost as useful as Aikido when dealing with the undead. The rapid and powerful chain punches can knock a zombie back while avoiding the mouth.
TKD is useful in that its kicks to the upper body can knock a zombie down while exposing you to minimal threat of being bitten.
Karate, much like TKD, Karate’s use of push kicks and avoidance of punches to the face make it an excellent anti-zombie martial art.
And now for martial arts that you should avoid.
Brazilian Jiu Jitsu will get you killed. Do not go to the ground with a zombie ever! One bite and you are dead. Completely disregard this style.
Judo has some uses as breaking a grip might come in handy. However, a failed hip throw is a good way of being bitten.
Sambo: ankle locks do not work on zombies!
Boxing: if you strike a zombie in the mouth and the zombie’s teeth break your skin you are infected. Boxing is a horrible anti-zombie martial art.
However when choosing an anti-zombie martial art keep in mind the nature of the enemy. You can only kill a zombie by severing the head or destroying the brain. Therefore whatever martial art you choose should be focused on escaping the threat while avoiding being bitten.
Stay informed and stay safe!
10/11/2006 1:55am, #2
As with all martial arts, however, you have to be realistic about where you get your training. For example, some McDojos don't take into account that the degree of putrefecation of a given zombie has a great impact on the techniques and style you can safely use against it.
See http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MfkHkdu5IEI for an object lesson. As recommended, the defender uses a skilful combination of Aikido and Tae Kwon Do to fight two zombies at once. He starts out well and is able to twist and kick the zombie's limbs off quite effectively, but then makes two classic blunders and pays the ultimate price.
10/11/2006 1:57am, #3
How do you practice aliveness with...deadness?When You absolutely have to hide a body...try Alaska.
10/11/2006 2:03am, #4
10/11/2006 2:05am, #5Originally Posted by wagamichi
10/11/2006 3:16am, #6
I am so screwed.
I would however suggest that Muay Thai may be an effective solution to zombies. While I'm not suggesting that one clinch with a zombie, I thinkthe solid, shin to thigh/knee leg icks and perhaps even good thai kicks to the ribs would be extremely effective against zombies. In that clip alone, from Peter Jackson's documentary "Dead Alive", we see that chabered karate/tkd style kicks are enough to dissmember zombies, I imagine a strong thai kick could well cleave one in two.
10/11/2006 3:20am, #7
A good war hammer is all you need. Bust up the brain pan. hahahahahaha
When You absolutely have to hide a body...try Alaska.
10/11/2006 3:23am, #8Originally Posted by Olorin
Wing krave chun maga for t3h win!!!!When You absolutely have to hide a body...try Alaska.
10/11/2006 3:29am, #9Originally Posted by wagamichi
10/11/2006 3:36am, #10Originally Posted by Dai Tenshi
I have several good war hammers. I keep the cold steel war hammer in the trunk of my squad car just in case the zombies rise. (I am not kidding.)When You absolutely have to hide a body...try Alaska.