Black Belt in a Box... lol

**Steve** · Posted On: 9/30/2006 4:17pm

Did a quick search and didn't find anything on this (I'll emphasize the 'quick search')...

[MEDIA]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-QA4ObbhPHs[/MEDIA]

YouTube link.

http://www.blackbeltinabox.com/

BLACK BELT IN A BOX

This is the Most comprehensive
Martial Arts Training Program in the World.
34 Complete Books on CD, 5 Hours Video Training on DVD.

Dr. Gambordella's Books and Videos sell for up to $79 for ONE Book, and $79 for ONE Video. For less than the Cost of One Book you can have 34, and 5 hrs of video training.

$39.95Over $500 in Value

Sale this month ONLY $ 24.95

LOL!!!

**Doctor X** · Posted On: 9/30/2006 4:29pm

Oh . . . teh d34dly mind control!!!

Black Belt in a Box

On nights like this
when the world's a bit amiss
and the lights go down
across the trailer park
I get down
I feel had
I feel on the verge of going mad
and then it's time to punch the clock

I put on some make-up
and turn up the tape deck
and pull the belt across my gut
suddenly I'm Dr Midwest
Karate LARPing King
until I head home
and put myself to bed

I look back on where I'm from
look at the whore I've become
and the strangest things
seem suddenly routine
I look up from my Vermouth on the rocks
a gift-wrapped belt still in the box
of towering velveteen.

I put on some make-up
and some LaVern Baker
and pull the belt down from the shelf
Suddenly I'm Bruce Lee of 1963
Until I wake up
And turn back to myself

Some boy they have natural ease
they wear it any way they please
with their gold braid stripes
and Black Belt magazines
Wear it up
Let it down
This is the best way that I've found
to hock more crap you've ever seen

I put on some make-up
and turn up the eight-track
I'm pulling the belt down from the shelf
Suddenly I'm Walker, Texas Ranger
from TV
until I wake up
and turn back to myself

Karate, Jiu Jitsu
And horrible Kung-Fu,
Ninja tricks and mind control
I'll sell it all to you
With your fat LARPing fantasy,
Star Wars geekdom, too
Raking in your cash,
It's all because of you
It's all because of you
It's all because of you

I put on some make-up
turn up the eight-track
I'm pulling the belt down from the shelf
Suddenly I'm this chopsoki star
of stage and screen
and I ain't never
I'm never turning back

--from "Wig in a Box," Hedwig and the Angry Inch

Not . . . that there is anything wrong with that. . . .

--J.D.

**TKD Black Belt** · Posted On: 9/30/2006 5:32pm

F*ck you're just jealous that I've already started my 5 hours of video training towards my Black Belt in Aerobic Workout!

TKD BB (soon to be AW BB!)

**HANKtheTANK** · Posted On: 9/30/2006 6:55pm

wow, ya think i can apply for the blackbelt in weight training specifically?
screw all the PT certificates that are out there....they're no good....not compared to THIS!!!

I bet, sooner or later....SOMEONE will spot a dude in a weight training gym wear this ****....probably the gay tae bo instructor/personal trainer of your local weight gym?

**Doctor X** · Posted On: 9/30/2006 6:57pm

Bah! I hear you can just buy a 10th dan. . . .

--J.D.

**Nathan McScary** · Posted On: 10/01/2006 5:11pm

Originally Posted by Doctor X

Oh . . . teh d34dly mind control!!!

Black Belt in a Box

On nights like this
when the world's a bit amiss
and the lights go down
across the trailer park
I get down
I feel had
I feel on the verge of going mad
and then it's time to punch the clock

I put on some make-up
and turn up the tape deck
and pull the belt across my gut
suddenly I'm Dr Midwest
Karate LARPing King
until I head home
and put myself to bed

I look back on where I'm from
look at the whore I've become
and the strangest things
seem suddenly routine
I look up from my Vermouth on the rocks
a gift-wrapped belt still in the box
of towering velveteen.

I put on some make-up
and some LaVern Baker
and pull the belt down from the shelf
Suddenly I'm Bruce Lee of 1963
Until I wake up
And turn back to myself

Some boy they have natural ease
they wear it any way they please
with their gold braid stripes
and Black Belt magazines
Wear it up
Let it down
This is the best way that I've found
to hock more crap you've ever seen

I put on some make-up
and turn up the eight-track
I'm pulling the belt down from the shelf
Suddenly I'm Walker, Texas Ranger
from TV
until I wake up
and turn back to myself

Karate, Jiu Jitsu
And horrible Kung-Fu,
Ninja tricks and mind control
I'll sell it all to you
With your fat LARPing fantasy,
Star Wars geekdom, too
Raking in your cash,
It's all because of you
It's all because of you
It's all because of you

I put on some make-up
turn up the eight-track
I'm pulling the belt down from the shelf
Suddenly I'm this chopsoki star
of stage and screen
and I ain't never
I'm never turning back

--from "Wig in a Box," Hedwig and the Angry Inch

Not . . . that there is anything wrong with that. . . .

--J.D.

Damn dude! Being a big fan of Hedwig, that made my day. Excellent parody.

**Lucid1014** · Posted On: 10/01/2006 5:22pm

Haha the dudes voice at the end of the commercial was tooo funny.

**oldman34** · Posted On: 10/01/2006 5:56pm

The website says he welcomes my comments.

I seriously doubt he would.

By the way...I see that he has a link to his new Realty Agency.
It says they sell hard to find property like,

Arizona Ocean View Properties
Golden Gate Bridge
Manhattan Island

All at reasonable rates.

**Steve** · Posted On: 10/01/2006 8:42pm

Be sure to check out the Click to see Dr. Ted Amazing Video link on the left side of the website...

Has all the classic tricks: unbendable arm, punch to the gut, bending a knife by stabbing yourself in the throat etc... Lovely.

Aw, hell. Here's the link. Wouldn't want you to have to look at the horrible web design more than you have to.

**Doctor X** · Posted On: 10/01/2006 8:44pm

Originally Posted by Nathan McScary

Damn dude! Being a big fan of Hedwig, that made my day. Excellent parody.

Thanks! It is one of my favorite movies . . . not that there is anything wrong with that. . . .

If I had the time, I suppose I could Photoshop a "Hedwig" on this grand master.

--J.D.