Posted On:9/21/2006 7:37am
That's what is weird...I am normally above normal when it come to 'getting' this type of thing. Most Americans would just watch one of those episodes and say, "What are they saying?...I don't understand their accent...Why don't they speak English."
I have heard family members say all three of these...seriously.
Posted On:9/21/2006 5:12pm
Style: currently xingyi
Originally Posted by chris_ketchens
My signature move is very complicated and requires alot of preparation:
THis technique is called, "An aristocrat drinks a scottish coffee"
First, I put on a school girl's pleated skirt and insist it is a kilt for 3 or 4 hours while smoking and drinking heavily in a public area where it is forbidden to do so. Then, I fantasize about making love to a gorilla while shaving my pubes and repeating the phrase "I'm sorry I pooped in your tiramisu Mr. Farnsworth" over and over again at the top of my lungs until I reach climax. Then I ejaculate into a paper cup while an angry onlooker flog's me with a rolled up newspaper.
Then, I give myself a coffee enema using coffee grounds and my own boiling feces. I read the aforementioned newspaper in the horizontal supine position and attempt to herniate my blistered rectum with a violent bowel movement. The force and sound of the bowel movement is usually enough to cause any one looking to go temporary blind from 2nd degree chemical burns to the eyes; this is good becase at this point I'm totally defenseless, though some people say that this part of the technique is unnecessarily esoteric; however, as i learned this technique, this part is necessary to harness my chi (by chi I mean "scrotum" and by harness I mean "genital cuff".)
At this point I scrape the remaining human effluence from my rectum with a 4 year old Bic disposable razor I keep in my back pocket. The 300 degree droppings, blood, and exfoliated skin from the blisters on my anus are placed in my bonnet and promptly forced into my mouth by way of my nasal cavity with a turkey baster in preparation for the final stage of the attack.
This is where things get tricky: from here I gargle the national anthem, while deranged suicidal midget's with down's syndrome attempt to tear off my testicles with vice grips after setting my pleated skirt ablaze. By the time I make it the the second verse one of my testes will have ruptured resulting in a violent catastrophic shock to my nervous system. My spasming limbs will shoot out in all direction at the same time with such force that both midgets will be killed instantly, their mangled, though finally at peace, bodies will fly at unheard of speed toward my opponent; who, will likely die of sheer terror long before the midget's reach him.
I stand by my training.
You are not supposed to give away the punch line before the joke.
Posted On:9/23/2006 11:02pm
Style: Muay Thai, RBSD Concepts
signature attack: eye gouge and throat bite.It has killed many ninja's.
and I love Red Dwarf. I liked the episode where the cat guy scored with a mermaid, she was half women/half fish. The funny thing was that she was like a fish head with human legs, the opposite of what we expect. anyway, I laughed.
Posted On:9/23/2006 11:04pm
The rear naked choke is my signature move.
Last edited by chaosexmachina; 9/23/2006 11:24pm at .
"The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I'll never be as good as a wall." - Mitch Hedberg
El Guapo says dance!
Posted On:9/25/2006 6:25am
Style: The Gentle Way
Originally Posted by Carrera26
I insist that we fight in a local park so that my "chi can flow freely with nature". Then I wait in the parking lot till you show up and run you over with my car.
Sorry but my MA is too dangerous to be used in public, my Kiai will make your car explode :(
Posted On:9/25/2006 4:13pm
Realistically, I would say the hit to the throat. Be it a chop or impact grab, or an elbow to the face.
Posted On:9/27/2006 5:22am
Style: Taijutsu, Army Combatives
The lunge punch.
I'm sorry, but it's just funny after the discussion that's going on in this post: http://www.bullshido.net/forums/showthread.php?t=46437
Seriously, I did have somewhat of a signature movi in boxing. It required that you had gained the aggressive position in the ring, and had your opponent on the defensive. It's also useful because my stance is more squared off. I would throw a fake cross (just take the step and set teh shoulder in motion), but it was looked like it would be an overly telegraphed punch, with everything that I had going behind it. When they put their guard up, I would actually be setting up for a hook, which i had extra time to power into, since they now limited their view and were expecting something to hit their gloves. As their hands came back to normal position, the hook would be on the verge of landing on the side of their head.
The only time it didn't work for me was against a guy that I sparred with a lot. He was the only guy that I knew that could fight either right handed or south paw, trained with me that way in the class, and had grown up fighting with his older brothers. My punch landed, but instead of dazing him, he got this angry look in his eyes, took the offensive, moved me backwards and against the rope, and proceeded to hit me with a combination of 8-12 unanswered shots that alternated between my head and my body. All I could do was cover up, and somehow, I found a hole that let me slip out from against the ropes.
Posted On:9/27/2006 7:21pm
Style: Beating Children
My sig would be getting beat all bloody and then telling whoever is kicking the **** out of me I have the HIV. Hope you don't have any open cuts bitches!
Posted On:9/28/2006 8:41pm
Style: Judo, Sambo, Boxing
My personal favorite is the "evil stare", taught to me under the karate master Dillman. I can k.o. you from 15 feet away before you chi balls come near me..
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