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  1. Shinkengata is offline

    Registered Member

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    Sep 2004
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    Nor Cal
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    Posted On:
    8/11/2006 12:25pm


     Style: BJJ,MT,Wrestling,Boxing

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!

    Some not so well-known observation humor of MA.

    Here are some things that i notice about MA and MAists that really crack me the **** up.


    Every Judo club has at least ONE moderately buff Christian boy who is a nice kid, but not really popular and doesn't get laid. He's usually very energetic, and an overachiever.


    9 out of 10 Maists are as pale as skim milk...the other 1% are compiled of Asians, people who are actually tan, and other naturally dark completed people.

    Many Maists, particularly TKDists and Karateka, use a very wide-legged walk that almost looks like they **** their pants and don't want anyone to know.

    Maists with the grossest feet ALWAYS show up to class wearing flipflops or sandals.

    If the instructor accidentily farts...he will act like nothing has happened....and expects you to do the same.

    Standing there clutching your belt is a sign of authority. Many instructors do this.

    If you meet another martial artist, both of you are automatically obligated to tell stories of your awesomeness, whether they be true or not. "I was sparring this guy one time, and i kicked him and he went down...the paramedics came and checked him out and said that his heart had skipped like, 6 beats."

    All practicioners of arts with high kicks wear straight leg jeans....its a fact of life. That's just in case they have to "Kick a Bitch".

    Chi-artists are constantly testing their chi in every day life. Attempting to move a pencil across the table, chi-striking a door open when no one is looking, trying to generate heat in their palms, etc.. etc...

    All Ninjers have thrown on their tabi to make a run to the store at least once...there's no denying it. Even though it takes twice as long to fasten those fuckers as it does to tie your shoes.

    That is all for now...will post more when i have time.
  2. Airman Kai is offline
    Airman Kai's Avatar

    AK: Giving new meaning to the word "Unfair."

    Join Date
    Jun 2006
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    Scott AFB, IL
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    1,536

    Posted On:
    8/11/2006 12:56pm


     Style: Out-Of-Shape MMA

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Dude, I'm so gonna piggyback on this one, just let me take care of these three tickets (actual work for once) and I swear I'll have some gems. Unless you beat me to them.
    :clock:

    Observational humor rules, btw, awesome start!



  3. Phrost is offline
    Phrost's Avatar

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    Jun 1998
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    Cow Town
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    19,115

    Posted On:
    8/11/2006 1:00pm

    Business Class Supporting Memberstaff
     Guy Who Pays the Bills and Gets the Death Threats Style: MMA (Retired)

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    YMAS forum description. Read it, love it.
  4. Airman Kai is offline
    Airman Kai's Avatar

    AK: Giving new meaning to the word "Unfair."

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    Posted On:
    8/11/2006 3:30pm


     Style: Out-Of-Shape MMA

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    4 out of 5 karate schools have a kids' curriculum that has an extremely stupid name like "little dragons," or "ninja kids"

    National Geographic Factoid: TKD is a close relative of Tennis. You might even say it's in the same genus. Notice, if you will, the sounds the TKD female in the wild makes whilst sparring, and then look at the sounds the female tennis player makes. Two sides of the same coin, I say.

    Multiple TMA'ists will begin conversations with "My skills could own 37 knife wielding attackers while simultaeneously reaching a new high score on my playstation naruto game" but will soon turn into a circle jerk where everybody agrees that all arts are equal and useful in their own right.

    Every TKD school has the upstanding and narcissistic korean-american black belt teen who absolutely SWEARS by TKD. There is an 80% probability that his girlfriend (also Korean-american) is also a black belt at the same school. There is a 100% probability that he is a virgin.

    EDIT: some of these are well known, but whatever.
    Last edited by Airman Kai; 8/11/2006 3:42pm at .



  5. MaverickZ is offline

    Heavyweight

    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Posts
    6,928

    Posted On:
    8/11/2006 3:48pm

    supporting member
     Style: white boy jiujitsu

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by airman kai
    4 out of 5 karate schools have a kids' curriculum that has an extremely stupid name like "little dragons," or "ninja kids"

    National Geographic Factoid: TKD is a close relative of Tennis. You might even say it's in the same genus. Notice, if you will, the sounds the TKD female in the wild makes whilst sparring, and then look at the sounds the female tennis player makes. Two sides of the same coin, I say.

    Multiple TMA'ists will begin conversations with "My skills could own 37 knife wielding attackers while simultaeneously reaching a new high score on my playstation naruto game" but will soon turn into a circle jerk where everybody agrees that all arts are equal and useful in their own right.

    Every TKD school has the upstanding and narcissistic korean-american black belt teen who absolutely SWEARS by TKD. There is an 80% probability that his girlfriend (also Korean-american) is also a black belt at the same school. There is a 100% probability that he is a virgin.

    EDIT: some of these are well known, but whatever.
    Homer says "Be more funny."
  6. MEGALEF is offline

    Still digging on James Brown

    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Location
    Lund, Sweden
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    1,333

    Posted On:
    8/11/2006 5:02pm


     Style: BJJ & Judo (1k)

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    To clarify; What Homer means is not "Do more of same", but rather "If you're going to do more, make it funnier".
  7. CanucKyokushin is offline

    He'll flip ya!

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    Mar 2005
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    Posted On:
    8/11/2006 5:21pm

    supporting member
     Style: Not.....working

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by Shinkengata
    If the instructor accidentily farts...he will act like nothing has happened....and expects you to do the same.
    I usually try and quielty sneak a few out.

    Quote Originally Posted by Shinkengata
    Standing there clutching your belt is a sign of authority. Many instructors do this.
    For most.It's so you don't look lazy in class.It looks better than crossing your arms.
  8. Neildo is offline
    Neildo's Avatar

    Senior Member

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    Vancouver BC
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    Posted On:
    8/11/2006 5:24pm

    Join us... or die
     Style: FBSD

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Also, my Gi pants have no pockets. What, I'm supposed to have my hands up all the time?!?!
  9. Shinkengata is offline

    Registered Member

    Join Date
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    Nor Cal
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    Posted On:
    8/11/2006 5:26pm


     Style: BJJ,MT,Wrestling,Boxing

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by Canuckyokushin

    For most.It's so you don't look lazy in class.It looks better than crossing your arms.
    Just drop the arms at the sides...holding onto the belt looks arrogant as hell.
  10. Teh El Macho is offline
    Teh El Macho's Avatar

    Senior Member

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    Porcupine/Hollywood, FL & Parmistan via Elbonia
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    Posted On:
    8/11/2006 5:32pm

    supporting member
     Style: creonte on hiatus

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by Neildo
    Also, my Gi pants have no pockets. What, I'm supposed to have my hands up all the time?!?!
    You follow the wisdom of Great Master Bundy, you fool!

    Read this for flexibility and injury prevention, this, this and this for supplementation, this on grip conditioning, and this on staph. New: On strenght standards, relationships and structural balance. Shoulder problems? Read this.

    My crapuous vlog and my blog of training, stuff and crap. NEW: Me, Mrs. Macho and our newborn baby.

    New To Weight Training? Get the StrongLifts 5x5 program and Rippetoe's "Starting Strength, 2nd Ed". Wanna build muscle/gain weight? Check this article. My review on Tactical Nutrition here.

    t-nation - Dissecting the deadlift. Anatomy and Muscle Balancing Videos.

    The street argument is retarded. BJJ is so much overkill for the street that its ridiculous. Unless you're the idiot that picks a fight with the high school wrestling team, barring knife or gun play, the opponent shouldn't make it past double leg + ground and pound - Osiris
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