Diary of a College Samurai
I just moved here into town and i must say that this place sucks. None of these people here have any honor. They're all weak. I will hereby refer to them as "peasants" because that's exactly what they are. I'm setting up my school at the local college, in hopes of making Samurai out of at least a few of the horde of weaklings that crawl about the campus like ants.
I have immediately run into a problem, as the local law enforcement seems to be adverse to me carrying my swords in my obi. I told them i was Sephiroth, a high Samurai, and asked them if their feeble minds could comprehend what i am.(actually i told them that with my spirit and intentions.) I put my swords in the trunk of my transport vessel and resumed my path. Half of my soul exists in each sword, and taking them off for long periods of time can threaten my vitality. But of course these dogs would not know anything about that. I even sleep with my sword in case of a Ninja attack.
A little bit about my sword:
It was the year 2002, and i was perusing the local village market known as "Bob's Knife and Gun Show" and i felt myself drawn to a presence in the far corner. I immediately made my way to its source, and there it lay. I immediately christened it "Demon Killer" and assimilated its powers into my spirit. For $42.66 plus tax, i was joined with my soul. Its 440(which means its folded 440 times) Stainless Steel blade, when combined with my oni powers, has cut clean through many things.....basketballs, small trees, children's bicycle tires, and soda cans.
I've been on the lookout for Ninja, because my Grandmaster's spirit has informed me that they lurk in this town. So many of this town's inhabitants have attempted to touch me by what they call "shaking hands"...at which i promptly inform them that they are lowly and not worthy to touch a samurai, and should bow to me instead. A couple of them have, but most of them disrespect me verbally like the unenlightened dogs they are. However, i have mercy on them, for i know i could slay the entire town if they invoked my wrath strongly enough. I have much unpacking to do at this point, and i fear for my Final Fantasy and Rorouni Kenshin DVD's after the box fell from the top of my transport vessel while on my journey here.
We shall meet once again when the moon has come and gone.
[Note: this is a work of fiction, any resemblance to any actual person, including self professed samurai is purely accidental.]
Last edited by Sam Browning; 8/12/2006 11:10am at .
The man is back.
Originally Posted by Shinkengata
I look forward to the mention of:
i. Kurosawa films
ii. Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance
iii. The 4 Ronin, and other tales of heroic death
iv. Homosexual bonding before battle
Martial Arts and Philosophy: Beating and Nothingness
to order on Amazon
:zicon_ram Yay! Samurai action. Shinkengata delivers again.:hello2:
Edit: Maybe some Samurai Jack references too. =)
Last edited by Rubberduck; 8/06/2006 10:03am at .
So this thread isn't clogged with a bunch of "I'm just posting so's I can subscribe" posts, there is a "subscribe to this thread" button/link near the bottom of the page. Click that.
I hope this guy's delusion is as entertaining as that guy from "Legend of Ghost Dog" or whatever that movie was called.
As an avid sword enthusiast, I got a big kick out of this part.
Originally Posted by Shinkengata
The Master of Teenage Japonophile delusions has returned!!
This deserves a mention at SFI when it's all said and done.
Shinkengata is the mega winsy coolness. 31 flavors of hells yeah!