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  1. #521
    Nihonto's Avatar
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    Atlanta, GA
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    281
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    BJJ
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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    The biggest true story martial arts masterpiece since Bloodsport !
    I laughed! I Cried!
    I wanted to choke the Chi out of Lorhax! ...


    Seriously that was fantastic. Waiting for the sequel. Been a while sice I laughed that hard about something I read. Thank you for this ...

  2. #522
    JingMerchant!'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
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    North Blighty.
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    Judo, baby! Yeah!
    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    This was absolutely belting!! Just read the whole thing in one sitting rather than sleep tonight!!

    GJJ- Because sleep is for pussies!!!

  3. #523

    Join Date
    Dec 2007
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    Chitown Representin Bizzles!!
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    TKDer turned Judo/BJJer
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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    This isnt an onscure Michael "Peaches" Pietro reference is it? If so, I can attest to the fact that Pietro is a bad man. If not, bizarre coincidence. Great writing BTW.

  4. #524

    Join Date
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    TKDer turned Judo/BJJer
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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    GJJ = GoldenJonasJiujitsu? Have we all been trolled??? J/K Man. Excellent and entertaining story. Well done. If I had one point of contention it would be that Joe Rogan should have been with Eddie...or was he and I forgot? F*ckin Stoners!

  5. #525

    Join Date
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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Glad you enjoyed it.

  6. #526
    JingMerchant!'s Avatar
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    Judo, baby! Yeah!
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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    So, the burning question now Jonas, is whats next? Maybe you, Running Dog and Shinkengata coulds collaborate on the diary of awesomeness!!!

    'Diary of a Bullshido Noob' or something.....

  7. #527

    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Location
    London
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    Trad Ju Jitsu
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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Absolutely fantastic. Some great references and loved the humour. Full of nice, thoughtful touches and allusions. "The Chinese Connection" quest (pun intended) made me laugh especially as in the UK it's known as "Way of the Dragon" and ends as everyone knows with Bruce laying the Gi top on the deceased Chuck. Excellent way to finish.

    Many thanks for all your efforts, I read it in 3 sittings in the office.

    Thanks again.

  8. #528

    Join Date
    May 2008
    Location
    Perth, Aus
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    294
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    Jiu Jits, MT
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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    I signed up to say that was the most beautiful thing ive ever read, lol keep at it man

  9. #529

    Join Date
    Jan 2008
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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by GoldenJonas
    given the pure unadulterated awesomeness of Shinkengata's "Diary of a Teen Ninja" thread, and the requests to start a similar BJJ thread, I decided to make a go of it...here are the first three entries, if it is crap tell me to stop, if you want to see it continue let me know.


    Day 366……..

    Dear Diary,

    ****!!!! My mom said that she is not gonna help me pay for my ATA Bushido Masters Training Festival, I told her than I needed an attendance ticket from the festival so that I can enroll in the accelerated nidan course. Having just received shodan, my instructor is strongly recommending me for the nidan course. The “X-nidan” course is fucking mint!!! For only $2,500 I get an introduction into the secret Shaolin-jumping-shadow-kicking-techniques from the scrolls written by Eternal Grand Master Haeng Ung Lee, plus a shodan rank in Hapkido, this combined with the badass XMA training are well worth it. The festival only costs $4,000 and I will get a certificate of attendance signed by Master Richard Reed, a new ATA Bushido Master patch, authority to have World Champion embroidered on the back of my gi, and four colored tassels to match the multi-colored shodan stripe on my black belt.

    She mentioned some bullshit line about “spending good money after bad” and my asshole step-dad and his drinking buddies said that I couldn’t fight my way out of gay bar with a extra large cucumber and asked me if I was gonna wear my gi in the next pride parade….what? pride parade? Whatever idiot, Pride is in Japan.

    Anyway, got to head to school. I’m a bit nervous because Jack Nelson is still riding my ass about how his Jujitsu is better than my TKD. I’m gonna where my loose fit American Flag weight-lifting pants to school today, I’m sick of his ****, can you say roundhouse ************!!!!!!

    XMAlways,

    Chuck, Jr.

    wow. I wish he was my dad.

  10. #530

    Join Date
    Aug 2008
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    bjj / kempo jujitsu / mma
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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by GoldenJonas
    Day 388…………


    My ATA instructor was at class (he’s a 7th dan), he was not very happy with my choice of gi but honestly, after what I did, **** ‘EM. Check this **** out…..we lined up for our compliant one step drills and I got paired up with Emmily, little friggen emo black belt chick. She was bitching to me before class about how the rise of jujitsu has generally placed an abysmal black cloud over the budo of martial arts and that Brazilian woman are starting to go sterile due to Helio’s influence on the flow of positive chi, she then started to cry and ran off into the changing room…….psycho. I’ll show her chi disruption……

    So, I’m paired up with emo-lly and she steps in as the attacker with a high roundhouse kick……HA, before that bitches leg got off of the ground I executed a perfect single leg take down and drove her emo ass into the floor…she started to scream but I think the ground impact knocked the wind out of her because I just heard her gasping and whimpering after she hit the ground. I immediately got side mount and started to sandpaper her face. It was AWESOME, she started to whale, her face was bright red and all scratched up and her black eye crap had run down her face and to her neck….HA she’ll probably kill herself tonight…..insulting Helio that way, serves her right.

    I think I peed a little when I read this

    Dude this story Is some funny ****.

    Why no sequel? or did I just miss it?

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