Diary of a BJJ teen.........

**kung_fu_zombie** · Posted On: 7/20/2006 1:19pm

Man I think its hiliarious. I can really idenify with this not because I do Gracie Jui Jitsu but because I used to own a 1989 IROC-z and I had to get the damn red and black racing stripes redone. hahahhaha. Keep it up!!!!

**Fearless Ukemi** · Posted On: 7/20/2006 1:49pm

I've been choked unconscious twice and never shat myself. Do people actually do that? Besides Steven Seagal.

**Ronin.74** · Posted On: 7/20/2006 2:04pm

Originally Posted by Fearless Ukemi

I've been choked unconscious twice and never shat myself. Do people actually do that? Besides Steven Seagal.

Probably only the ones that freak out and panic

**Method2Madness** · Posted On: 7/20/2006 2:36pm

It's possible i guess.

**GoldenJonas** · Posted On: 7/20/2006 3:59pm

Day 380……………

Dear Diary,

Sorry D, haven’t been able to write in a few days because of my bitch mom and her mulletard husband. I’ll catch you up tho……..

I got home from my first class at Kimple’s GJJ to have my mom blow a gasket on me for something ATA sent her in the mail. Apparently, ATA is going to take her to court for refusing to pay my last six months of dues after I quit last week. She said they were going to “accelerate” the total amount due (whatever the **** that means) and sue her for lawyer fees also. I told her that I was going to join up to learn GJJ “the one and only martial art that has been proven to be effective over decades of fighting on the streets of Rio, Brasil”. I read that to her off of the brochure I got from Mr. Kimple. She screeched that if she was going to pay for ATA TKD that I damn sure was gonna go and that GJJ has not proven **** in her house!!!! She then motioned to her Mongoloid husband in the corner who stormed forward and shoved me onto the couch yelling “your gonna listen to your mother tinkerbell or you’ll have to pull your teeth out of the back of your panties!!”

Whatever, looser……”back of my panties?” WTF is he talking about? Your upance will come!!!! Stewie rules!!!!

Anyway, I just got a job at Dairy Queen, and that should pay for the GJJ and 1 coat of paint for SwEeTnEsSes racing stripe……

Yesterday was my first class where I got in the mix at Kimple’s GJJ. I had to wear my spare black and silver XMA gi. Right before class Mr. Kimple took me aside and explained some of the “rules of the school”. He said that every time you step on the mat you have to bow to the mat and bow to Helio and Rickson’s pictures. He said that my XMA gi had to be replaced by either a royal blue or white judo/jiu-jitsu gi, and my gi had to have two of his school patches on it, one on front and one on back (one is fucking HUGE like the size of a fricken manhole cover!)

I asked him how often they clean the mats due to the defecation thing. He looked at me kind of funny, shook his head, and said he would let me in on a little secret….COOL these are bonuses I was figuring I would get having a TKD Shodan and all. He said that if you feel like you are getting choked or you get put in a position where you can’t escape and it hurts, you tap the mat or the person applying the technique twice. He said that most new guys don’t know this until later on but he wanted to give me the heads up. SWEET!!!!

Class was quick. We learned a sweep called a hip heist where you open the guard thing, plant your hand, and push up through the guy between your legs to reverse him and land on top of him. It was cool, my partners had tough time doing it to me because as they would thrust with their hip I would thrust forward with my chest…COCKBLOCKED ************!!!!! Hell yeah. After a while no one wanted work with me, Respect the shodan, hells yeah. We didn’t get a chance to throw down but Mr. Kimple said we would dedicate all of next class to rolling and working on what we learned yesterday.

GJJ….shonuff,

Chuck, Jr.

**Don Gwinn** · Posted On: 7/20/2006 4:01pm

After the choke, triangle/figure four his torso a few inches above his waist and squeeeeeeeeeze.

Just kidding. I have no idea whether that would really work or not.

**Backdraft** · Posted On: 7/20/2006 5:36pm

Is'nt shitting yourself after being choked out just the result of you losing bowel control?

**FictionPimp** · Posted On: 7/20/2006 8:20pm

Just ouf of curiousity, are there actually bjj gyms out there that bow?

**MONGO** · Posted On: 7/20/2006 8:28pm

Yeah, ones in Japan. But here it is a cultural thing. We shake hands at the beginning and end of a roll and only bow out to the instructor after drill and after sparring.

**IzzyDaHedgehog** · Posted On: 7/20/2006 8:30pm

Mine does at the beginning of class. Actually, to a picture of Helio Gracie.

I'm not joking.

It would weird me out if any more attention were paid to it.