Posted On:7/19/2006 5:09pm
decent writing so far... though I like that teen ninja better cuz he's funnier.
But i cannot judge this yet cuz its only started. I'll wait and see.
SO PLEASE CONTINUE!!!!!!!! Thanks.
Jiu Jitsu - Sometimes passing just isn't an option.
Posted On:7/19/2006 5:51pm
Style: BJJ, Unauthorized Judo
Originally Posted by GoldenJonas
I did a bit of research on BJJ and discussed the history of the art with other martial artists on the internet and discovered that there was some sort of martial arts civil war in South America between some guy named Helio and two other guys named Sperry and Machado. Apparently Helio taught the r34l JJ, which was taught to him by Count Dracula, not the real Dracula but some Japanese guy who was exiled from his homeland for dishonoring the emperor. Apparently, Helio saved him from malaria and Montezuma’s revenge in the Brazilian rainforest on the face of Machupichu. In exchange for saving his life, the Count agreed to teach Helio his fighting style but he made Helio swear a blood oath that he would only use the deadly fighting style for the purposes of good not evil.
Helio then set out to purify martial arts in first South America, then the world. He organized underground no holds barred death matches to fight the various so-called masters of other MA styles found in the rainforests and small coastal hamlets of South America. Helio’s prowess and skill in the style he dubbed Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, as opposed to the more plebian Japanese jujitsu, spread across the land. Helio successfully converted the Capoeira, Garrote Larense, Esgrima Criolla, Tayando, and other “masters” of the local heathen bastard arts to the light of Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu. Helio was a badass crusader like in medieval times, fucking mint!!!!!
Well, anyway, apparently Sperry and Machado, Helio’s prior general’s, started to make money by entering their fighters into commercialized “no-holds-barred” matches and venues. Helio, being a martial arts socialist, clearly saw that Sperry and Machado were attempting to make a profit off of the pure art of Brazilian Jiu-Jistu; the evil of pure unabashed capitalism. In a “battle of the century” Helio sent his second captain, Royce Gracie, to battle the capitalist forces of evil at UFC 1. The result was a clear win for the forces of good and a truce between the feuding sides with a treaty signed in Rio de Janeiro, Brasil, in 1993. The treaty split Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu into two sides, Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, the side of evil, and Gracie Jiu-Jitsu, the side of good.
Damn diary, IM FUCKING PUMPED!!!!!!! Gracie Jiu-Jitsu is the way!!!!! This is the “epic battle of self discovery and resolution” that my dungeon master, Ragthinord, told me was inescapably in my future after he leveled up my Female Half-Elf Ranger/Mage last weekend.
I’m off to the yellow pages diary….lates….
The very sad thing about this is that it's in a way true. When doing my research on brazilian jiu-jitsu and after reading all the "Gracie" propraganda I was about ready to take a trip down to Torrence and the Gracie Academy. I thought, "Why learn Brazilian, when you can lean Gracie..." Now I just want to lean Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu from Dean Lister, Judo from Karo Parysian and hook up with Kyra Gracie for a date...but then again, don't we all!!!
Posted On:7/19/2006 6:02pm
Flesh the character out a bit more, the D n' D type thing sounds too close to to our ninja friend..
What about starting him out as more of the XMA type, athletic and goodlooking if just a slight bit geeky, but sheltered and misguided, who ends up seeing the light of the BJJ goodness to become the ultimate nutriding dork?
Posted On:7/19/2006 6:12pm
wait for it, wait for it.....he ain't gonna be a goth emo kid, I promise.
Posted On:7/19/2006 6:48pm
Awesome...the whole internet girlfriend, magic the gathering type deal just seemed a little bit too reminiscent of ninja-boy. Keep it up, though, it looks promising.
Posted On:7/19/2006 9:02pm
Style: Sub-wrestling, mostly...
Thr price of the seminars go just outside the realm of realism and really spoils it for me.
Posted On:7/19/2006 9:44pm
Style: BJJ and MMA
This is a pretty good thread. He goes from TKD to Gracie Jiujitsu freak.
Bjjcurious..thats a great line.
Posted On:7/20/2006 11:05am
I finally found a Gracie Jiu-Jitsu school but it is two hour drive from home. Hopefully SwEeTnEsS can hold up for the trips. Damn IROC is a fucking pain in the ass but it’s a mint chick magnet, at least that’s what Mack’s bro told me when he sold it to me. He said I may have to get the two tone racing stripe redone and see if I can find a passenger side T-top at the junk yard. He scrapped the racing stripe off of the driver side while on a high speed chase with the North Dakota State Police after he robbed a liqueur store and had to toss the T-top from the passenger side to get away with the 4 kegs of Old Milwaukee. Fucking SwEeTnEsS was on “COP’s” man!!!!!! I got it for a fucking steal though, apparently Mack’s bro has to pay some “initiation fee” to some one in the pen so he had to sell it, it was cool talking through the bulletproof glass at the state penn. That car’s bad ass, although my chick count is still zero.
Soooo, I drove 2 hours to Cankleville to check out Lenny Kimple’s Gracie Jiu-Jitsu Academy. The dojo is friggen sweet, wall to wall mats and a 4’x4’ gold framed picture of Helio “Holy Crusader” Gracie. Helio’s picture is surrounded by nine other pictures, like the friggen solar system and Helio’s the sun, damn straight!!!! The other pics are Mr. Kimple’s instructor, a guy by the name of John Finkle, a guy named Bill Hord, who gave Finkle his brown belt, a guy named Ricardo Jimenez, III, who gave Hord his black belt, Mike Fairchild, who gave Jiminez his black belt, Kerry Dugan, who gave Fairchild his black belt, Carlos Chavez, who gave Dugan his black belt, Donny Domingez, who gave Chavez his black belt, Joe “Bag-o-Donuts” Smith, who gave Domingez his black belt, and Rickson Gracie, who gave “Bag-o-Donuts” a black belt. Mr. Kimple is a GJJ purple belt. The next closest school is Mr. Finkle’s school almost 6 hours away; there is no way SwEeTnEsS is making that hike. So I will have to be satisfied learning from a friggen purple belt. It’s OK though, given my extensive MA experience I imagine I’ll pass him up pretty quick. Roundhouse ************!!!!!!!
I decided to watch this class rather than “roll”. After about a half hour of bowing in to the various pictures on the wall they started to warm up and then proceeded to work on something called “the guard”. That’s the position that Royce guy was in most of the time I saw him in the UFC on TV. My step-dink and his buds kept yelling at the TV calling jujitsu “queer eye for the fighting guy” but I just kept my mouth shut….oh yes, he will **** himself, SOON!!!!
No one shat themselves or passed out during the class I watched but the wrestling seemed pretty sweet. Everyone there was pretty cool and friendly, they talked openly about the benefits of Gracie Jiu-Jitsu, and about how there are no true counters both physically and spiritually to Gracie Jiu-Jitsu techniques when done properly. This is apparently true regardless of whether fighting on the street or in the local Gracie Jiu-Jitsu tournaments. After class everyone gathered in a circle to discuss the benefits of GJJ and share some grape fruit punch. The fruit punch bit was kind of strange but it was oddly comforting…..and I didn’t **** my self this time.
I’m gonna ask Mr. Kimple about the defecating thing next time……
GJJ Up In Y’all,
BJJ wins again!
Posted On:7/20/2006 11:15am
Meh. . . . it's kind of hard to decide if this is mocking BJJ or not. You almost slip back into the nut-riding with him getting destroyed by the purple, thinking his ATA stuff is great, etc.
However, your version of BJJ history rivals Milton's Paradise Lost, so keep going and let's see what happens.
Sexiest Punching Bag Alive
Posted On:7/20/2006 12:03pm
Again, I'm going to ask you one more time. Give me back my journel!!!
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