Thread: Diary of a BJJ teen.........
7/19/2006 1:22pm, #11
At some point the kid should build an alter to Rolls Gracie as an homage to this thread. Scroll down to #17 on the first post to see what I mean.Shut the hell up and train.
7/19/2006 1:43pm, #12Originally Posted by jnp
7/19/2006 1:48pm, #13
- Join Date
- Mar 2004
- Costa Mesa, CA
I like it! This is a trend I'm starting to enjoy.
7/19/2006 1:53pm, #14
- Join Date
- Oct 2005
I demand you give me back my secret journal!
7/19/2006 2:38pm, #15
I went to Helior Graicens Brazilian Jujitsu Jiu-Jitsu Academy today. Started out pretty cool. I wore my light-blue and black stripped ATA gi and wore my tasseled black belt to show them that I was no dirty MA n00b, “respect my authorita!!!!”, ha, Cartman rules.
I was pissed from the get go when a friggen purple belt asked us to bow in to him!!!!!! Purple Belt my ass, check the deck mother-fucker, I got th3 sh0d4n…anyway, he did have more patches than me, so that was pretty cool.
There were maybe 30 guys in class, which is cool because ATA chicks piss me off with like “don’t kick me in the boobs”, “I don’t need a cup” and “guys with tassels are gay”, chicks suck……except my girlfriend, Jen, or T00H0T2001, we’re exchanging “.gifs” on Wednesday, I’m super psyched.
Anyway, we warmed up and then got paired up for “rolling” which is I guess wrestling. I refused to get paired up with anyone but the “instructor”, he’s only a purple belt after all and I don’t want to hurt any of the other guys in class.
As it turns out my gi is too thin and got shredded during “rolling”, the guy was lame though. I charged in with a flying side-kick and he jumped up and wrapped his legs around my waist and arms around my back. I landed on top of him and he started wiggling his hips under me, kind of weird , sucker!!! I just dropped all of my weight on him and refused to move. He started to complain and then I felt him grab my collar, as everything started to go black I heard someone yell “hey, its Chucky ****-for-brains”…….I woke up outside staring at the night sky with, you guessed it, **** in my pants.
I have heard that there are different BJJ styles out there. I’m hoping that the one I find will have some sweet dance moves like that dude from “Only the Strong”. I’m gonna have to do a bit more research on this BJJ crap. ****!!! I really wanted to wear my ATA Gi in the “.gif” swap with Jen.
More lates Diary,
7/19/2006 3:15pm, #16
- Join Date
- Oct 2005
Actually when I first started bjj there was a guy who would show up in his TKD green belt and talk about how deadly his tkd and hopkido was. I used to love tapping him out over and over.
Eventually the instructor started teasing him that a green belt is a color reserved for small children.
7/19/2006 3:16pm, #17
- Join Date
- Nov 2002
7/19/2006 3:30pm, #18
Day 369's entry is kind of weak.
7/19/2006 3:32pm, #19
That's so accurate that it's scary. I even wore my TKD pants the first day that i rolled. I didn't **** my pants, though.
No, I swear...
7/19/2006 4:43pm, #20
I did a bit of research on BJJ and discussed the history of the art with other martial artists on the internet and discovered that there was some sort of martial arts civil war in South America between some guy named Helio and two other guys named Sperry and Machado. Apparently Helio taught the r34l JJ, which was taught to him by Count Dracula, not the real Dracula but some Japanese guy who was exiled from his homeland for dishonoring the emperor. Apparently, Helio saved him from malaria and Montezuma’s revenge in the Brazilian rainforest on the face of Machupichu. In exchange for saving his life, the Count agreed to teach Helio his fighting style but he made Helio swear a blood oath that he would only use the deadly fighting style for the purposes of good not evil.
Helio then set out to purify martial arts in first South America, then the world. He organized underground no holds barred death matches to fight the various so-called masters of other MA styles found in the rainforests and small coastal hamlets of South America. Helio’s prowess and skill in the style he dubbed Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, as opposed to the more plebian Japanese jujitsu, spread across the land. Helio successfully converted the Capoeira, Garrote Larense, Esgrima Criolla, Tayando, and other “masters” of the local heathen bastard arts to the light of Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu. Helio was a badass crusader like in medieval times, fucking mint!!!!!
Well, anyway, apparently Sperry and Machado, Helio’s prior general’s, started to make money by entering their fighters into commercialized “no-holds-barred” matches and venues. Helio, being a martial arts socialist, clearly saw that Sperry and Machado were attempting to make a profit off of the pure art of Brazilian Jiu-Jistu; the evil of pure unabashed capitalism. In a “battle of the century” Helio sent his second captain, Royce Gracie, to battle the capitalist forces of evil at UFC 1. The result was a clear win for the forces of good and a truce between the feuding sides with a treaty signed in Rio de Janeiro, Brasil, in 1993. The treaty split Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu into two sides, Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, the side of evil, and Gracie Jiu-Jitsu, the side of good.
Damn diary, IM FUCKING PUMPED!!!!!!! Gracie Jiu-Jitsu is the way!!!!! This is the “epic battle of self discovery and resolution” that my dungeon master, Ragthinord, told me was inescapably in my future after he leveled up my Female Half-Elf Ranger/Mage last weekend.
I’m off to the yellow pages diary….lates….