Diary of a Teen Ninja

**Shinkengata** · Posted On: 7/11/2006 5:14pm

Day 150

Dear Diary,

My eye is feeling better, but i plan on keeping the patch on, because it makes me look like a complete hardass. I'm thinking about getting my older cousin, MoonStar, to put me some sweet henna tattoos on my arms and chest. She wove some hemp sandles for me before i went to bandcamp in 7th grade that were h3lla comfy. I asked Sensei today about his teacher from Japan, and he told me i wasn't worthy enough to ask him about his teacher yet. I guess im gonna have to just work harder and be more Ninja-like if im going to get the chance to talk to him about it. My girlfriend dumped me because she just couldn't handle my Ninjaness. She claims it was because i was "a delusional dipshit" but my training makes me a human lie detector, so i know its because im just a little too intense for her. No matter. A$$a$$in$ are meant to be alone anyway.

My dad sat me down today and said he was concerned about my involvement in Ninjitsu. I called him a "baka yaro" and went into my room and closed the door. Hehe....these pathetic hicks are so stupid they don't know what im saying when i cuss them out in Japanese. D1abl0 still feels bad about hitting me in the eye with the firecracker, or so he says. Personally i think he's just trying to get his belt back, cuz i stripped him of rank for being a total tool and poking my eye out.

I've just started wearing nothing but my gi pants, tabi, and a black T-shirt every day instead of normal clothing. That's right, being a Ninja is a full-time job. Plus if the sh1t ever hits the fan wherever i am, i can spring into action with the quickness.

Well, i have a class to teach. I'm gonna be teaching flying dragon kicks to the blue belts today. Its a mucho kick-ass move. Sensei says the Ninjas used it to knock holes in castle walls when they were invading an enemy Daimyo. Anyway, i'll write more later, Diary.

PS Sorry for spilling Pepsi on you today.

**kungfujew** · Posted On: 7/11/2006 5:20pm

Your stories are like crack in electronic, worded form. Give me more, sexual favors CAN be exchanged.

**TehDeadlyDimMak** · Posted On: 7/11/2006 5:51pm

I want to punch your ninja kid so bad...

you must spread more repuatation before giving it to Shinkengata...

**Backdraft** · Posted On: 7/11/2006 7:25pm

This is really funny, but something major needs to happen before it becomes stale.
That said, great job!

**Cptn._j-Rah** · Posted On: 7/11/2006 8:10pm

/applaud:ninjadanc

**kungfujew** · Posted On: 7/12/2006 12:05am

Originally Posted by Backdraft

This is really funny, but something major needs to happen before it becomes stale.
That said, great job!

You say this like this will ever become stale.

**MrMcFu** · Posted On: 7/12/2006 12:08am

Originally Posted by Shinkengata

Day 148

Dear Diary,

I won't write a whole lot right now, because i can only see out of one eye. D1abl0 and i were doing mitsubushi practice and i caught a Black Cat Whistler in the eyeball....luckily it bounced off my eyeball before it popped, but it still hurts h3lla bad. Sensei says that it was my Ninjaness that allowed me to deflect the bottle rocket with my eyeball, and that a lesser person would have been digging it out of their eye socket, so that makes me feel a little better. I do get to wear this t0tally badass eyepatch for a couple of weeks, tho.

I'll write more later after the tylenol 3 kicks in. Later Diary.

Ninja and pirate, biatch!

***jnp*** · Posted On: 7/12/2006 12:38am

All you haters need to calm the **** down. Don't pressure the man. Don't do anything to **** this up.

No...wait...scratch that diary....it was a fucking spider. OMGZ!!!

(short burst of unintelligble scribble)

I like to wear my tabi to work because they grip the greasy kitchen floor real well.

They couldn't have arrested us anyway. All we had to do was throw down our smoke bombs and teleport back to our van in the parking lot. When will these mortals learn that they can't take us?

I'm much too complicated for this world. I plan on reaching such a level of enlightenment that i can just hang out on the astral plane all day.

Well, actually it cost ME about $130 but sensei said he would pay me back when his disability check comes in.

Originally Posted by Shinkengata

PS Sorry for spilling Pepsi on you today.

It's the little details you throw in so glibly that make this thread a 9.9/10!