Diary of a Teen Ninja

**xingyifa** · Posted On: 7/11/2006 10:56am

I wonder if someone should post this over at the ashida kim forums...

**Shinkengata** · Posted On: 7/11/2006 11:53am

Day 146

Dear Diary,

I signed up for the UFC today. Assholes laughed at me when they asked what school i was with and i told them Ninjitsu. They are most definitely getting a kuji spell from me. Let's see how they like waking up with their sphincter turned inside out.
Why are Ninja so misunderstood? Once upon a time we were feared and revered. People need to re-learn why they once feared us. Somebody egged the clan van, too, and the egg dried and stripped part of our logo off, which cost Sensei about $130. Well, actually it cost ME about $130 but sensei said he would pay me back when his disability check comes in.

Sensei is teaching me some really advanced stuff lately, such as how to levitate rocks from the bottom of a stream without touching them, and how to fly and stuff. I can't do any of these things just yet, but Sensei says i just have to practice and get my chi right.

Speaking of which, i need to get to work on that and then get to bed. Later, Diary.

Day 147

Dear Diary,

I started a Ninjitsu club at my church called "Ninjas of Nazareth". It's going over pretty well. I can't really teach them all the really cool stuff because they'd call me a witch and probably kick me out of the church. I only really still go because mom and dad make me. I'll be 18 soon, and then im moving out into my own place and i don't have to do anything i don't want to anymore. I'm going to train all day and strive to reach supreme enlightenment. I bet one day i'll be even more powerful than Sensei! Man that would be cool. Some guy named Rex came by the dojo today and tried to get us to study his 8 week program, and called me "Peter Pan". I'm like WTF? So i hit him in the ass cheek with a shuriken as he was getting back in his truck. He dares disrespect Ninjas? What a dumb4$$.

I gotta get to bed early. Me and D1abl0 have some firecrackers and we're gonna go practice Mitsubushi training over in Keeling Park tommorrow morning. Later, Diary.

**kungfujew** · Posted On: 7/11/2006 12:17pm

Ninjas of the Nativity!

**Shinkengata** · Posted On: 7/11/2006 12:22pm

Originally Posted by kungfujew

Ninjas of the Nativity!

Actually that's the kid's classes.

**mrblackmagic** · Posted On: 7/11/2006 2:54pm

Ninjas of Nazareth? Pure Genius.

**Ikantski** · Posted On: 7/11/2006 3:04pm

this thread delivers!

**Shinkengata** · Posted On: 7/11/2006 3:17pm

Day 148

Dear Diary,

I won't write a whole lot right now, because i can only see out of one eye. D1abl0 and i were doing mitsubushi practice and i caught a Black Cat Whistler in the eyeball....luckily it bounced off my eyeball before it popped, but it still hurts h3lla bad. Sensei says that it was my Ninjaness that allowed me to deflect the bottle rocket with my eyeball, and that a lesser person would have been digging it out of their eye socket, so that makes me feel a little better. I do get to wear this t0tally badass eyepatch for a couple of weeks, tho.

I'll write more later after the tylenol 3 kicks in. Later Diary.

**mrblackmagic** · Posted On: 7/11/2006 3:25pm

Owned!

**datdamnmachine** · Posted On: 7/11/2006 3:26pm

Originally Posted by Shinkengata

Day 148

Dear Diary,

I won't write a whole lot right now, because i can only see out of one eye. D1abl0 and i were doing mitsubushi practice and i caught a Black Cat Whistler in the eyeball....luckily it bounced off my eyeball before it popped, but it still hurts h3lla bad. Sensei says that it was my Ninjaness that allowed me to deflect the bottle rocket with my eyeball, and that a lesser person would have been digging it out of their eye socket, so that makes me feel a little better. I do get to wear this t0tally badass eyepatch for a couple of weeks, tho.

I'll write more later after the tylenol 3 kicks in. Later Diary.

If you only knew how much you are making work go by faster!