Diary of a Teen Ninja

***jnp*** · Posted On: 7/10/2006 11:38am

7.5/10

Could go higher though, we'll have to wait for the next installment of As the Ninja Churns.

**datdamnmachine** · Posted On: 7/10/2006 11:55am

I'm just posting so that I can get the email update about this thread. Hopefully we'll get an update on this soon, it would make my work day go by faster.

**Rubberduck** · Posted On: 7/10/2006 12:08pm

Originally Posted by kungfujew

What's wrong with HIM?

Oh.

FYI Ville Valo´s younger brother Jesse is succesful MT fighter, and his father sponsors tournaments here.:icon_chee

http://images.google.fi/imgres?imgur...lr%3D%26sa%3DX

**kungfujew** · Posted On: 7/10/2006 12:11pm

Originally Posted by Rubberduck

FYI Ville Valo´s younger brother is succesful MT fighter, and his father sponsors tournaments here.:icon_chee

That's awesome. I gotta admit, sometimes you're just in the mood for gothic schlock rock.

**Shinkengata** · Posted On: 7/10/2006 1:35pm

Day 41

Dear Diary,

I started teaching d1abl0 Ninjitsu today. Sensei says i was ready to teach since i've reached Camouflage belt. Vamp1refr34k doesn't hang out with us anymore becuz his dad runs the Judo gym, and sensei says he's our enemy now. He tried to tell me that sensei got his ass kicked at the challenge. Pssh...yeah right. He's just trying to make his dad look good. Any id1ot could look and see that those bruises came from practicing dive rolls down stairs.

Now that we have enuff students, Sensei's gonna take us on a Ninja camping trip. It's gonna be totally sweet. We're gonna learn how to sneak through the woods, climb trees and make fire with our chi. I hope Sensei makes us full-fledged Ninjas then.

I've got some packing to do. Stay tuned, Diary.

Day 46

Dear Diary,

I'm sitting here in my tent using my chi for light so i can see to write. Haha...just kidding. It's my dad's flashlight. There are a lot of bugs out here. Sensei says picking ticks off our scrotums was good practice for the deadly "ant bite" technique. It's this really painful way to pinch pressure points with the very tips of your fingers. Gawd im gonna be totally badass because i picked all the ones off of mine without hurting myself. Even the small ones. How's that for accuracy? Only a Ninja!!! We practiced throwing chi balls at rabbits tonight for dinner. We would have gotten it too if one of the students hadn't pulled out his BB gun and shot it. That's not very ninja. It was still pretty good to eat though. My head hurts right now though because my mom kept calling my cell phone while we were doing meditation up on the high rocks and sensei slapped me in the back of the head. I think he might have used some chi too, because i have this tingly feeling in the back of my head...............

No...wait...scratch that diary....it was a fucking spider. OMGZ!!!

(short burst of unintelligble scribble)

Day 47

Dear Diary,

I just got home from the hospital. The doctors shaved my head and gave me a shot of "antivenom" or something. I've been sick most of the day. Sensei cast a healing chi bubble over me, and sometimes i can feel it working. I tried practicing my unarmed stuff, but i started moving a little too much, i guess, and i puked on the dog. He deserved it anyway. I'm still pissed that they cut my hair at the hospital. IT took me forever to get it to look like the singer's hair from AFI. That dude's a total fr34k. I bet he's a Ninja too.

Sensei's making me come to class tommorrow even tho im sick. Its not easy being a Ninja, ya know? People just don't understand. I'm gonna continue building my chi to force the poison out of my body. Catch ya later, Diary.

PS My nuts still have a lot of red spots on em. I'll have to put off taking pics to send to my girlfriend until they go away. hehe.

**kungfujew** · Posted On: 7/10/2006 1:44pm

Ninja lyme disease paralysis GO!

**mrblackmagic** · Posted On: 7/10/2006 1:53pm

Well done. Golf clap.

**CaliKyle** · Posted On: 7/10/2006 2:00pm

Seriously, these are way funny.

**Shinkengata** · Posted On: 7/10/2006 2:02pm

Day 72

Dear Diary. It's been awhile since i've written, so i'll just catch you up on what's been going on.

I got my black belt a month ago. w00t! I am officially a true Ninja. I know what you're thinking, i can't be a black belt at 17 right? There were ninjas younger than me in Japan. When i walk down the street during the day, people get out of my way. It's like their instinctive mind tells them "hey...this guy is a Ninja...make way."
Sensei lets me teach 3 times a week. I also have a girlfriend now. She's a Kunoichi (Female Ninja). Sensei said he had to test her out to make sure she was girfriend material before he'd let me date her. I'm not sure what that means, but it was probably a top secret test, because he took her up to the lookout point and was there all night testing her. She's hott too. Oh man....she does the most amazing thing with the handle of my Ninja sword. I can't even talk about it here. Sensei says she's good with a Naginata too. I dunno what he means, because we were practicing Naginata in class the other day and she didn't seem that good with it.

I got a new car too, until Sensei made me crash it into a ditch. He said we could collect the insurance money and he'd buy me a better car. He hasn't done it yet, but im sure that's just because he's still looking for the perfect Ninja car. Maybe a black Mitsubishi Lancer. That would be hella badass.

Until next time, Diary.