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  1. #1

    Join Date
    Jun 2005
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    468
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    Hell yeah! Hell no!

    John LaTourette is a Slapster

    I've hear a lot of things about how fast this dude is and I'm sure many of you have heard the claims about this speedman who can hit 16+ times per second.

    I've been curious about this guy for quite some time, so I began looking into how exactly one could possibly sprike so quickly. Finally I found a website (http://home.att.net/~erik.mann/jlat.htm) that reviews some of LaTourette's expensive home videos, and come to find out, he is in fact a slapster. Apparently LaTourette's speed strikes consist of "alternate going back and forth in a slapping motion with both hands VERY RAPIDLY, criss cross both hands as you do this, making sure you slap with the palm side and backside of each hand". You know, kinda like The Three Stooges.

    I guess since strike number is so important and actually hurting your opponent with said strikes doesn't seem to be a factor, you might as well wiggle your fingers with each blow while you're at it and count each fingertip contact as a strike too...

    Also, LaTourette's official website (http://www.thespeedman.com/) is kinda funny. Especially the credentials section where he seems to pull many of his Dans and promotions out of nowhere.

  2. #2
    Grashnak's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
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    Ottawa
    Posts
    1,055
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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Founded Tae San Ninjutsu Association, Founders' Rank
    Despite having no Ninjutsu in his previous credentials (which he has meticulously listed up to and including boxing at Kiwanis).

    Defensive Combative Trainer for Detached Special Forces Unit, Pueblo Colorado
    ooooo, t3h d34dly special forces!

    American International Karate Kung-Fu Schools of Self-Defense, 10th Dan
    OMG, is this the greatest series of ridiculous claims ever???? 10th Dan in American International Karate Kung-fu. I personally favour Lithuanian Domestic Yoga TaeBo, but to each his own.


    Interesting how he has apparently never actually continued to study any art, just mystically mastering different ones at various high Dan levels seemingly at random...
    Jesus loves you. I think you're an asshole.

  3. #3
    Gezere's Avatar
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    Jul 2002
    Location
    Rhineland Pfalz, Der Vaderland
    Posts
    10,579
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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Me and a couple of buddies both his tapes back in 97 we were set to get all DEADLY and stuff. I only watched the first tape. It was disappointing. My bud who desperately wanted to find SOME redeeming value watched all of them and read over the literature. Finding none we sent the tapes back and got a refund.
    ______
    Xiao Ao Jiang Hu Zhi Dong Fang Bu Bai (Laughing Proud Warrior Invincible Asia) Dark Emperor of Baji!!!

    RIP SOLDIER

    Didn't anyone ever tell him a fat man could never be a ninja
    -Gene, GODHAND

    You can't practice Judo just to win a Judo Match! You practice so that no matter what happens, you can win using Judo!
    The key to fighting two men at once is to be much tougher than both of them.
    -Daniel Tosh

  4. #4

    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Posts
    1,952
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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Wel, at least you got your money back.

  5. #5
    Teh El Macho's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    Porcupine/Hollywood, FL & Parmistan via Elbonia
    Posts
    11,746
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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by Grashnak
    OMG, is this the greatest series of ridiculous claims ever???? 10th Dan in American International Karate Kung-fu. I personally favour Lithuanian Domestic Yoga TaeBo, but to each his own.
    Hmmmm, American... International... Karate... Kung-Fu... ****, I have to said aloud and slowly over and over. The craptacular abomination of it is taking a while to sink in my skull. If I try to rush it, it will turn my brain into regurgitated brie cheese or something.

    American... International... Karate... Kung-Fu... American... International... Karate... Kung-Fu... American... International... Karate... Kung-Fu...American... International... Karate... Kung-Fu...

    I mean, what the ****? Why not Brazilian Tibetan KamaSutra Origami?
    Read this for flexibility and injury prevention, this, this and this for supplementation, this on grip conditioning, and this on staph. New: On strenght standards, relationships and structural balance. Shoulder problems? Read this.

    My crapuous vlog and my blog of training, stuff and crap. NEW: Me, Mrs. Macho and our newborn baby.

    New To Weight Training? Get the StrongLifts 5x5 program and Rippetoe's "Starting Strength, 2nd Ed". Wanna build muscle/gain weight? Check this article. My review on Tactical Nutrition here.

    t-nation - Dissecting the deadlift. Anatomy and Muscle Balancing Videos.

    The street argument is retarded. BJJ is so much overkill for the street that its ridiculous. Unless you're the idiot that picks a fight with the high school wrestling team, barring knife or gun play, the opponent shouldn't make it past double leg + ground and pound - Osiris

  6. #6
    Poop Loops's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2004
    Location
    Americastan
    Posts
    10,025
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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Isolated Universal Up-style Down-style.

  7. #7

    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    Western NY
    Posts
    84
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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Multicultural explosive Muay Thai Golf (full contact)

  8. #8

    Join Date
    Apr 2006
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    104
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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    What the hell is Karate Kung Fu? Is that like Frisbee Golf?

  9. #9
    <plasma>'s Avatar
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    Jul 2005
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    7,583
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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Super British Ninja Shaolin LongBow Master.

  10. #10
    Chuan's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2004
    Location
    Spartanburg ,SC
    Posts
    944
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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by Copperpot
    What the hell is Karate Kung Fu? Is that like Frisbee Golf?
    I've seen a few American Kenpo schools use this term, mostly Tracy Kenpo.

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