Page 1 of 22 1234511 ... Last
  1. #1
    Fantasy Warrior's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2004
    Location
    USA
    Posts
    2,707
    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!

    Things that must change!


    A Draft Manifesto for the Movement Against Silliness in Martial Arts



    There is too much stupidity in martial Arts today, something must be done about. If, nay, when, we achieve power, we must institute the following rules ASAP:

    1. Silly uniforms. People wearing silk pajamas, Hakama, non-functional gis or any other form of silly clothing whilst doing what is essentially a sport activity will be shot on site.

    2. Kempo Barnet rule. All instructors of Kenpo, Kempo, American Kempo, Shaolin Kempo, Lima Lama, Kajukenbo and all other Kempo derived arts must wear a 1980s style mullet or similar comedy cut. Dillman comb-overs are also acceptable. This will reduce the risk of the general populace taking anything a Kempo instructor says too seriously.

    3. Aliveness to be taught in all schools. The old religions, many dating back before the time of the prophet Kano, still predominate. This is unacceptable and must stop at once. Shaolin-creationism must not be taught, and the Flat Earth and All Styles Are Equal myths must be done away with. Heretics will be burnt.

    4. Wing Chun to be banned. However it’s spelt, it is still just too silly. After years of asking the age old question “what is it supposed to actually do?” it has become painfully obvious that whatever it is, it isn’t very important anyway else someone would have found it by now. It’s therefore superfluous and only serves as a soapbox for deluded geeks who think wearing black tracksuit pants makes them look harder.

    5. RBSD gone. Reality based Self-Defence is an unnecessary and increasingly misused term. Instead it shall now be known as either “self-defence” for anything that actually works and “bollocks for everything else. Misrepresenting the latter for the former will be punishable by being made to try to use your bollocks moves for real.

    6. LARPer tolerance. Contrary to popular perception, we are tolerant on Martial LARPing. If you accept that you are role-playing at being a martial artist, then we are happy to accept the same. But if you continue to live in the delusion that LARPing is for real, we will be forced to throw tennis balls at you whilst shouting “lighting bolt!”.

    7. Tax on kiddy black belts. The parents and instructors of all black belts under the age of 16 will be taxed $300 for every year under the 16y.o. threshold for which the kid has the grade. A special rate of $400 per sub-16 year will apply to Tae Kwon Do.

    I’m sure there’s more things that will need to change.
    You are a total Douchbag. Train more, post nevermore.
    FickleFingerOfFate -08-21-2007 08:59 AM

    just die already.
    Plasma - 08-20-2007 11:45 PM


    Aikidokkkkakkakakakaaaaa
    Best MA website ever!!!!!: http://www.dogjudo.co.uk/

  2. #2
    ARGUMENTUM AD LATINUM DICTIONAIRUM Bullshido Newbie
    Doctor X's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Posts
    4,380
    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Bows in Humble Admiration

    Heck . . . there must be a smiley . . .

    :bowdown:

    --J.D.

  3. #3

    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    VA
    Posts
    860
    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    One of the arguments I have heard for hakama is that it is to hide the footwork in kendo.

    This does seem somewhat persuasive as an argument, as with them on it is difficult to correct beginers footwork if you can't see their feet.

  4. #4
    hapkido_keith's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Location
    California
    Posts
    1,300
    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by hl1978
    One of the arguments I have heard for hakama is that it is to hide the footwork in kendo.

    This does seem somewhat persuasive as an argument, as with them on it is difficult to correct beginers footwork if you can't see their feet.
    Errrr. Noone purpuosely went into battle wearing one.

  5. #5
    Tangerine's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    THE Island
    Posts
    216
    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by kickcatcher

    Silly uniforms. People wearing silk pajamas, Hakama, non-functional gis or any other form of silly clothing whilst doing what is essentially a sport activity will be shot on site.

    Ummm...There not silly if you really use them as pajamas...

  6. #6
    mrblackmagic's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    right behind you.
    Posts
    3,404
    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Can Jeet Kune Do get in on that Kempo Barnet rule?

  7. #7
    Tangerine's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    THE Island
    Posts
    216
    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by mrblackmagic
    Can Jeet Kune Do get in on that Kempo Barnet rule?
    Only if taught by Professor Hargrave.

  8. #8
    TehDeadlyDimMak's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Location
    Boston
    Posts
    2,198
    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Personally I would prefer sending kiddy black belts to forced labor camps, but your way works too... I guess.

  9. #9
    mrblackmagic's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    right behind you.
    Posts
    3,404
    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Ouch.

    Can we also force the founders of new styles to fight in a round robin tournament to prove the its effectiveness and prevent their gym from being burned down?

  10. #10
    Tangerine's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    THE Island
    Posts
    216
    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by TehDeadlyDimMak
    Personally I would prefer sending kiddy black belts to forced labor camps, but your way works too... I guess.


    If we could devise a way to use their roundhouse kicks to power useful machines....

Page 1 of 22 1234511 ... Last

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  

Log in

Log in
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO