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  1. Ted Deadly is offline
    Ted Deadly's Avatar

    WTF???

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    Feb 2005
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    206

    Posted On:
    5/25/2006 4:35pm

    supporting member
     Style: BJJ LARPing

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!

    How to win a Grapple easily!

    I’m not really sure if this is supposed to be a joke or not, but this website is full of articles like this. It looks like the warnings part was written by someone else. “This article will get you beaten very badly in a real fight.”
    Laughing out loud!

    http://www.wikihow.com/Win-a-Grapple-Easily

    How to Win a Grapple Easily
    If you do end up having to defend yourself in a fight (or in a wrestling match), grappling is a good way of getting your opponent into a vulnerable position on the ground. Follow these steps and you'll have a better chance of coming out on top.
    Steps
    1. If the person is bigger than you, use a kind of rugby tackle to take him. Don't try to use headlocks or armlocks unless you are familiar with them. Aim to pull your opponent's legs away from him. If he doesn't have legs to stand on, he can't stand, can he?
    2. Once you have your opponent on the ground (assuming you are on your feet), either run or kick him in the upper body and chest.
    3. If you have fallen to the ground on top of the opponent, and you don't want to risk trying to get up, put your full body weight on your opponent's shoulders. This makes it harder for him to get to his feet. If you are on hard ground such as concrete or wood, hit his head back into it -- not too hard though, as there is a risk of death.

    Tips
    • If you are fighting more than one opponent, pick one and concentrate on him first, then pick another and so on.
    • If you happen to find yourself on the ground during a fight, cover your head with your hands and kick out with your feet until you get an opportunity to get to your feet

    Warnings
    • Don't fight unless you have to.
    • This article will get you beaten very badly in a real fight. If you place all of your weight on the opponent's shoulders, it will be easy for them to roll you over them because your weight is not equally distributed.
    • Also note that trying to take a slightly experienced wrestler or grappler to the ground in the manner described by the author will result in them gaining control of the situation and putting you in a very vulnerable position.
    • Taking a wrestler or grappler, with minimal experience, to the ground in a fight is probably the worst move you could attempt to make. If you're not more experienced than your opponent on the ground, don't attempt to take them there. For that matter, just walk away if possible.
    Mauro: Coming into the ring now is Giant Silva. 7 foot 2, 385 lbs, making his debut in Pride.
    Bas: Wow, that is one big guy!
    Mauro: He must have an enormous Johnson!
    Bas: Ur…I suppose.
    Mauro: What are his keys to victory here in the Pride ring tonight?
    Bas: Well I think he needs to use his reach, avoid Heaths takedowns, and try to use his size to overpower him.
    Mauro: I mean, imagine the size of that thing!
    Bas: Now Heath is coming into the ring…
    Mauro: Do women really like them that big? Doesn’t it hurt?
    Bas: I really wouldn’t know.
    Mauro: I’m starting to feel a little insecure.
    Bas: Let’s just talk about the fight.
    Mauro: You’re right, el Basito. What are Heaths keys to winning here tonight. What does he have to do? What are his strategies for emerging victorious here in the Saitama Super Arena tonight?
    Bas: Well, the first thing…
    Mauro: My wife says she doesn’t like them too big, that it’s all about how you use it.
    Bas: That’s not what she told me.
  2. rino86 is offline

    Lightweight

    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Location
    Dallas Tx
    Posts
    151

    Posted On:
    5/25/2006 4:59pm

    supporting member
     Style: Bjj/Machado/Pittman

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    the article represents the universe, with one half negating the other. When you understand this, you defeat your opponent before stepping onto the mat my young padawan learner.
  3. Matsufubu is offline
    Matsufubu's Avatar

    To the Bat Pole!

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    Apr 2004
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    UK
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    Posted On:
    5/25/2006 5:21pm

    Join us... or die
     Style: Judo

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    "If you are fighting more than one opponent, pick one and concentrate on him first, then pick another and so on."

    Yes, they'll just stand around waiting for the rugby tackle. Speaking of which, how many rugby tackles allow you to stay on your feet?

    Retarded. Get it out of my sight.
    Mr Politically Correct GIJoe6186:
    Fat people disgust me in every way imaginable. I was at Freindly's with my girl tonight and saw a bunch of fat fuckers. I felt sorry for the pavement they were killing and the people who had to see them. .
  4. Yrkoon9 is offline
    Yrkoon9's Avatar

    Brock Sampson

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    Jun 2004
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    Land of the Living
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    Posted On:
    5/25/2006 6:37pm

    supporting member
     Style: 5.56

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    This revolutionary thinking has caused me to re-evaluate all these years of training. Clearly I need a tank. With spikes on it.
  5. Jitsuman is offline

    Registered Member

    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    NY
    Posts
    556

    Posted On:
    5/25/2006 8:19pm


     Style: BJJ, TKD, Boxing

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by Matsufubu
    "If you are fighting more than one opponent, pick one and concentrate on him first, then pick another and so on."

    Yes, they'll just stand around waiting for the rugby tackle. Speaking of which, how many rugby tackles allow you to stay on your feet?

    Retarded. Get it out of my sight.
    yeah.

    I call this the "double dragon" form.

    Attack one and the other guys just stand there waiting to get beat up.
  6. Poop Loops is offline
    Poop Loops's Avatar

    OOOOOOOOOOAAARRGGHH RLY?

    Join Date
    Nov 2004
    Location
    Americastan
    Posts
    10,026

    Posted On:
    5/26/2006 12:19am

    supporting member
     Style: In Transition

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Did any of you even read the "warnings"? This is obviously a joke.
  7. BSDaemon is offline
    BSDaemon's Avatar

    Being Sublime Daily

    Join Date
    Nov 2004
    Location
    Boulder
    Posts
    2,024

    Posted On:
    5/26/2006 12:58am

    supporting member
     Style: BJJ/MT

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
  8. Leon S Kennedy is offline

    Registered Member

    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    133

    Posted On:
    5/26/2006 2:56am


     Style: Muay Thai, CSW

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by Jitsuman
    yeah.

    I call this the "double dragon" form.

    Attack one and the other guys just stand there waiting to get beat up.
    haha! that's exactly what i was thinking. but i think in double dragon 2 they didn't wait around as much.

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