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  1. #1
    Northeast Anti-Silliness Department Inc. supporting member
    Ke?poFist's Avatar
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    Hell yeah! Hell no!

    Funny thing happened the other day...

    I had decided to go to a seminar hosted by this local BBT guy. I've seen plenty of about the ninjas here so I wanted to see what they had to offer first hand. At first it seemed cool, everyone made their introductions and went over the basic theory of off-balancing, and how to gain control of an opponent. I had decided to represent BJJ at this event, so I wore my judo gi and belt, so right away I got stares from the crowd with their tabi boots btw ;)

    Anyway, I believe it was the wife of the guy running the seminar that decided to work with me. She came up and seemed nice enough, and began showing me this technique where she catches my punch (lunge punch mind you) she kicks my shin, and then wristlocks me to the ground. She tried it a few times, and I just stood there not letting it work. She seemed to get a bit upset, and I told her that I respectfully felt that the technique wouldn't work, and that she could do it as hard as she wants to prove me wrong. So she tried again, and told ME that I wasn't getting it. Finally she tried one more time, and this time I stepped forward, grabbed her and took her down into side control. After I gained control, and positioned myself for an americana I felt the side of something metal on my neck. The bitch pulled a knife on me! She had this stupid smirk on her face, and I just got up and went to the bathroom to calm down before I did something brash to that stupid bitch.

    Anyway I came back and finished the seminar. She kept giving me these cocky little glances from time to time, and her husband seemed quite amused himself. Cocky bastards seem to think that carrying a knife on them somehow proves that their stupid wristlock takedowns are better than what I do.

    So after the seminar was over and they were packing up I found them in the parking lot. First thing I did was grab the wife from behind and slam her onto the pavement. She went to reach for her knife, and I took her outstretched arm and figure-4'd it till it broke. While I was down there, this guy....Dill...or Dale I think his name was started wailing on the back of my head with his fists, and kicking me while I was on the ground. I finally turned, and grabbed his leg and single-legged him to the ground. I got the mount and he went to stick his fingers in my eyes. I shifted back, slapped his hands away and punched him square in the nose. I then slowly positioned myself and pulled off every lock and choke I know from side control/mount/north south position I could think of, all the while he tried to grab my groin/throat/eyes (while tapping here and there mind you...I didn't know they actually knew HOW to tap). Finally I got bored, and punched him in the jaw knocking him out, took his money, his wife's purse and went back to my BJJ class where they teach us to be brute thugs that like to mug people on teh street....I honestly don't know where these guys get that impression from. :)

    I sure do love my anecdotes.

  2. #2
    GranoblasticMan's Avatar
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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    HEY, your story sounds really familiar... Déjà vu?

  3. #3

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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Animal :P

  4. #4
    It is Fake's Avatar
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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by KempoFist
    I sure do love my anecdotes.
    I'm glad someone enjoys them, Ha Ha Ha.

    Video please.

    :icon_wink

  5. #5

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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Yeah we know ninjas are gay...but you are a fucktard. Rewriting a bullshit story about ninjitsu only proves that Brazillians reinvented Jiujitsu to miinimize punches to the face while getting boned in the ass!!!

  6. #6

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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by Armed&Hammered
    Yeah we know ninjas are gay...but you are a fucktard. Rewriting a bullshit story about ninjitsu only proves that Brazillians reinvented Jiujitsu to miinimize punches to the face while getting boned in the ass!!!

    Harsh

  7. #7
    JonK's Avatar
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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by Armed&Hammered
    Yeah we know ninjas are gay...but you are a fucktard. Rewriting a bullshit story about ninjitsu only proves that Brazillians reinvented Jiujitsu to miinimize punches to the face while getting boned in the ass!!!
    As opposed to aikijujutsu, which focuses more intensely on the ass-fuckery part.

  8. #8
    Northeast Anti-Silliness Department Inc. supporting member
    Ke?poFist's Avatar
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    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Hey I was bored, and had a few minutes before class. Re-reading it now, I see I could have worded it a bit better, and put some more effort into the plot. But hey I hope Dale learns a lesson about anecdotes from this :XXfish:

  9. #9
    JohnnyCache's Avatar
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    man

    I'm getting the impression this isn't true and you posted it to make some kind of point

    That's a damn shame as it would have been hilarious if true.


  10. #10

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    I'm confused.

    What is the point of this story, and what is it in reference to?

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