Mostly, I just sit here. Mostly.
Posted On:5/22/2006 8:35pm
I debated on whether to put this in the combat sports forum or not, but seeing as it's not a story about any of the fights that actually happened- well, that and I just hate white back grounds.
So last week my room mate, Edro, says "Hey, Chris, what are you doing Saturday? Cause I just got a job as the announcer and commentator for an MMA event in Ardmore!" He said he was offered $300 for the gig and it was hinted that they may want him to do some radio spots for future events.
Thing is, he's never announced anything before. Apparently, the scheduled man fell through, so the promoter turned to one of our associates over at Uncooked Fights who in turn asked our coach if he had any guys who could pull it off.
I'm gonna say this right now and be done with it cause otherwise I'd just let it fester and be an embittered asshole- I COULD'VE DONE IT TOO >_< Why didn't coach pick me?!
There, I swear I won't be a prick again in this post.
As it stands, I was given the position of "cage operator"- I'm the rubber glove wearing monkey who bolted the cage shut and gave the ref, doctors, and officials towels, buckets, stools, etc. So ring side seating next to the ring girls- pretty much pays for itself right there.
Anywho, so Ardmore is like 3 hours drive from here, on the border with Texas. Edro's brother comes over in a rental and we hit the road around 1, get there at about 4 and hang out for a few as we watch things come together.
Edro immediately asked to see the card so he could get it down on these little palm sized flash cards he brought and they were like "uh, I don't have it, he does." Naturally, when we went to "him" the response was "nah dude, I swear he has it!" It became evident that this was the promoter's first show, which it was, and that rather surprised us.
See, Edro was offered the job by our coach on behalf of the guy who owns Uncooked Fights, only it turns out this wasn't one of his events, he was just renting out his cage for Rod someone or other of Caveman Jujitsu. So right about here a little niggling monkey popped into my head and I ask Edro about the specifics of the job offer; "well, he says $150 minimum and $300 depending upon how well I do." Great, so first thing that pops into m head is he'll be lucky to get like $50 because absolutely none of this is written down anywhere.
So the fighters start showing up and weighing in and Edro calls them all over to him after the weigh into to talk to 'em all, gets the proper pronunciation of their names, where they train, nicknames, and anything else they want announced. Some folks backstage who weren't even fighters got in line because everything was that confused and hectic.
Boxing commission shows up about 6ish and things are starting to look a bit more ready, the stage is set, the strobes, the smoke machines, the lights, the cage- it's all ready to go.
The arena packs up pretty quickly, it's a nice little community theater sort of building built probably around the 50's, very classic cinema feel to it. The lights go down, and Edro walks into the cage and calls every one to attention for the national anthem. He was really quiet, so I figured the levels were off, but he'd never actually even tested the mic and he was a little nervous so it turns out the drop in volume was his voice going in and out.
The recording of the national anthem they played was one of the worst I'd ever heard- like a horrible mixture of 30's marching band and MIDI.
I guess his stage fright passed quick, cause after that he was fine. Clear and in command of everything he said, didn't stumble over ****, and unlike some of the announcers we've had at local shows he wasn't some drunk old ass hat who couldn't tell an arm bar from the beer in his hand.
There was also a local radio station host there, some guy named Big Dave or Fat Dave, something like that. Standard radio voice, could fill the silence which was at points needed, but god damn was he annoying during the fights; someone would have mount and he'd be like "come on people, you gotta tell 'em what you want to see! If you want em to kick, yell kick!" And everything on the ground was "a vicious hold", though half way through the show he started turning to Edro to ask what particular moves and positions were.
Edro let Fat Dave talk during the fights, but he announced all the results and entrances and kept people going in between. I knew he had a personality and loved the sport and all, but I was really surprised he was as comfortable up there as he was.
Anyway, enough about him, what about my glorious job?!
First of all, the ring girls were considerably more attractive than those at previous engagements; these girls weren't from the local strip joint. All blondes, all tan, all silky smooth and smiley. I even managed to say whole sentences to them without making a complete ass of myself, oh whoopdy doo.
The job was naturally easy, though I did **** up at one point and leave the cage unbolted during one of the exhibition kick boxing matches- caught it before anyone really noticed and had it locked up a few seconds into the match. Yes, I fucked up a job that a trained monkey can do.
At one point, one of the fighters got cut rather badly, his corner for some reason didn't have a towel and as it was still early on in the night- at least that's the excuse-, there were no towels ringside. Now, I had worn my freshly laundered Bullshido white t-shirt to the event but had taken it off in favor of a staff shirt once I got there. So my BS shirt was just sitting ring side all crumpled up. Ref came over and grabbed it up and I said "hey that's my shirt!" He looked at me in disgust for a second, threw it back at me and demanded a towel. Dejectedly I looked around, there were none, so I just handed it back to him, now my shirt looks like this.
That fucker bled a lot.
The fights were good, only one went to decision and only one other to the second round. The fights may have been quick but they were action packed, no 7 second knock outs.
I got to talk with the various boxing commissioners and the ringside physician, and several times through the evening the commented that they were amazed this was Edro's first time as an announcer.
I noticed too that several times Edro was standing in between the head commissioner and the fight promoter and re-arranging the card. It turns out that the official state of Oklahoma card had peoples names spelled wrong, their schools and home towns switched up, and in a few places had the wrong match ups; Edro ended up correcting a lot of it on the fly.
Even better than that, when a fight ended by submission I watched the commissioners look puzzled for a second at their cards, wait for Edro to announce "tap out due to arm bar/triangle/guillotine choke/bicep cutter/etc" and THEN they would nod and write down the results. At first I wasn't sure of what I was seeing, but one of them turned to me and said "I'm glad he knows what that was, cause I sure don't."
So the event ends, I'm helping take down the cage and clean up and it's time for Edro to go get his pay. Dillon, the owner of the cage who offered Edro the job, said it should pay $350, and to go talk to Rod for payment. So Edro goes, quotes $350, and Rod says "make it $400, and we want you back for the next one of these I put on."
He got a fucking bonus and an offer to do it again.
But the fun doesn't stop there. He told Dillon and asked about what needed to be done to do those radio commercials, it was then that Edro was told he'd also be doing voice overs for TV spots and that he had the job of announcing the next Uncooked Event if he wants it.
Then the head boxing commissioner comes over, gives him his card, says "that's honestly the first time I've ever worked with an announcer that had his act that together", and told him to call about getting announcing gigs for boxing events around the state.
So basically Edro just got his ass a new source of income.
Oh, and he never once said that anyone got rocked.
My photos of DC area MMA events.
**** you math class
Posted On:5/22/2006 8:41pm
Style: TKD, Ballet, Archery
So my BS shirt was just sitting ring side all crumpled up. Ref came over and grabbed it up and I said "hey that's my shirt!" He looked at me in disgust for a second, threw it back at me and demanded a towel.
So you blew up his car right? Who the hell tries to use something of yours as a tissue, then is angry when you don't let them? Fucking cock.
This game is really hard and GIJoe6186 is a ******.
Color photos of the late Tsarist Russia.
Posted On:5/22/2006 8:46pm
To be fair, my shirt was crumpled up next to the box of rubber gloves and the bucket.
Refs can be pricks, and we had to find something. Told one of the promoters, he went "wait, we don't have any-" then he ran and got some. That mess is one person's face, and there's more on the back. It was apparently that refs like first or second time- he only got the exhibitions and one or two of the pro boughts after some words from the ref from the commission.
I sure hope that kid didn't have AIDs.
Posted On:5/22/2006 8:51pm
It's not the fact that he thought your shirt was a towel or anything, it's that he was disgusted with you for not letting him use it. **** that asshole, it's your shirt, it's your choice what happens to it.
I don't like people touching my stuff or coming into my room without my permission, much less getting angry at me when I tell them to put it the **** down.
Posted On:5/22/2006 8:55pm
I don't think he was so much mad at me for sticking up for my shirt, just that there weren't any towels. He'd already asked both corners for a towel and neither of those schmucks had brought one, and to top it off the doctor was AWOL- getting food for his kids IIRC, apparently no one told him when it started.
The gift that keeps on giving
Posted On:5/22/2006 9:34pm
Style: On hiatus
Props to your roommate.
It's cool when life deals ya one of those "I love it when a plan comes together" moments.
Posted On:5/22/2006 10:10pm
Great story! Sorry I missed the event. I think that Edro should get a new “professional announcer/color man” tag next to his amateur fighter tag. Tell him I said congratulations!
Maybe if he would post more than once every two months....
Founder/GrandSensei of Joint British / Papua New Guinean Non-contact Lawn Bowls Jiu Jitsu Committee
Posted On:5/22/2006 11:18pm
Who the hell are you, "THe Hero"?
7,000 posts? Did you change your name or something?
Great story, BTW. I'm insanely jealous of anyone who has conquered their fear of public speaking.
Imports from Japan, Shipping Worldwide! Art Junkie, Scramble, BJJ Spirits, Reversal...
Posted On:5/22/2006 11:24pm
He's Dai Tenshi. Or that's what I thought, before I found out what a servile ***** he is. Now, I don't know who he is.
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