More street sub fighting (long)

**MMA_Phil** · Posted On: 5/21/2006 3:03pm

Some of my fight stories, ON THE STREEEEEEET!

But first, consider these assumptions about any fight you get into:

1) You don't get into any legal trouble.
2) They don't pull a weapon.
3) You don't get sucker punched.
4) They don't have people that intervene on their behalf.
5) The other guy isn't a trained fighter.
6) You aren't ridiculously drunk.
7) There is always a puncher's chance (or just bad luck).

Above provided, I have to say that I think street fights are a bit of a joke compared to sparring full contact. Full contact sport fighters go harder in class than your average guy has the capacity to go in the street (see hedgehogey's story). Fighting in a competition is an ordeal (I've only done it once - and lost), fighting a guy on the street is a joke; they just don't have the same conditioning, skill, or willpower (usually, see (5)). BUT having said that, it can only ever be described as such [a joke] in hindsight and when the above conditions have been met. But they often are met, most fights on the street aren't that serious.

For the record, I'm not a big guy, I wear glasses, and I'm 6 foot 70+ kg, but pretty lean. I'm no thug or anything and I don't make a habit of getting into confrontations, but hey - **** happens and so here are some stories (of mine, obviously). I shall lay them out in reverse order of sweetness, starting from lame (and getting better).

1)
Okay, I was drunk, and my ex-girlfriend thought it would be a good idea for us to go and sit with these four guys that looked like trouble (to me). She was a stupid bitch and was trying to buy drugs off them. They buggered off somewhere, and they saw me arguing with her and could tell I wasn't best pleased. Long story short: whilst I'm talking to the guy sitting to my front right, the one right in front of me sucker punches me with a cigarette in the face. He then reached across at me (or tried to hit me - it's a blur, I was wasted) I parried into a clinch across the table and pulled him up to his feet. I was fucking raging, and so somebody came and pulled him away from me, and my assailant promptly disappeared behind a wall of do-gooders (fuckers). Not much of a victory since all I did was pull him in a circle, but I was so drunk that I just reacted and had zero game plan going on. He was bigger than me, but not as tall - I think.
Also, we got chucked out - not them. Not really surprising in hindsight; his three mates never moved from the table and he just slinked off somewhere. Meanwhile, I'm looking for blood. Still, I think the burn and the trail of ash on my face might have been some indication as to why I was pissed off, but the staff didn't care since it's easier to throw out one guy than four.

2)
Drunk again, round some random person's flat for some reason. Get into an argument with some guy, and he's like "Well, let's go outside and have a fight." I try to convince him that it's a waste of time because I'd kick his ass with very little effort, but for some reason this line of reasoning fails to defuse the situation. So I leave my glasses inside (it's best to remember to do that).
He's my height, but not too lean (not fat though) and definitely a good bit heavier than me.
We square off ON THE STREEEET! He doesn't put his hands up, and so neither do I in the hope that I can avoid boxing him; I didn't want him to get cagey and pulling a blatant fighting stance will make somebody defensive.
So, I just crash into him (not a perfect clinch entry, but I was pissed). He goes for a shitty street headlock on me, and so I get the seatbelt, move behind him and sit us both to the ground with me behind him on his back. Once on the floor, I put my hooks in, shuck my head out and sink the rear naked. I give him the general idea, and then he seemed only to happy to forget about the whole thing; he completely lost the will to carry on.

3)
Same ex-girlfriend, and I'm extremely drunk again. Not the ex's fault this time (but she's still a stupid bitch). We are round her ex-boyfriend's flat, and everything is cool and I liked the guy. He's got this barbell on the floor and I just pick it up (not sure why). He comes over and grabs hold of the middle of the bar. The next thing I know he's shoving me backwards. I fall back into the chair behind me, and he pushes through so the chair goes over backwards. Already I am so pissed off that I want to actually kill him. I shrimp out from underneath the barbell (lol), and then I (can't quite remember how, unfortunately) turned him onto his back, and I pinned him back into the chair with a knee-on-stomach. I was fuming, because I had been really worried that I was going to get a barbell dropped on my head. Anyway, after making it very clear to him that he shouldn't do that and that it wasn't cool, I get up off him.
My ex starts apologising to him on my behalf! This is the problem when you get mad - it's always the crazy person's fault. He asks me if I want to go outside and have a fight, and I am very keen. I take my glasses off again.
The guy is about my height but bigger and a few stones heavier.
Outside, on THE STREEEEEET again, we square off. I move straight in for the double-underhooks, and I only have them for a second, lol, I didn't really even get a chance to crunch - he goes straight down onto his back, and I go straight into mount. After basing, I immediately climb into high mount. He wraps his hands around my waist, and so I overhook his right elbow with my left, and pushing off his chest with my right, I fall back into an entangled armbar (one of those where you have your forearm behind their elbow). I put it on pretty slowly, and I give him the option to get out, he takes it and I let him up and forget about him; I go to get my glasses. It's at this point I realise that I am quite literally blind drunk, and I have to scrape around with my hands to find them because I cannot see.
Apparently his arm was hurting for a good few weeks after that.

So, lessons learnt by me:
1) There is no way you can box somebody when you are wasted, it's hard enough to even stumble into them, let alone line up a decent shot. Lol, I have heard that doorman see sobriety as their chief weapon.
2) Ground fighting on the street is fine. Why is it that the same people complaining MMA isn't realistic enough are the also the ones so scared of scraping their elbows and knees on the pavement?

I'm quite capable of striking btw, but I think that if you can get away without striking then I think you should: it's safer legally, for your hands, and you are less likely to get done for assault or something. Of course, you always have to adapt to the situation in hand.

Hope you all found that amusing.

**Matsufubu** · Posted On: 5/21/2006 3:21pm

Wow...you should lay off the booze, dude. Got any fights where you WEREN'T blotto?

**Odacon** · Posted On: 5/21/2006 3:26pm

Not. Roleplaying. Forum. Discuss.

**Jitsuman** · Posted On: 5/21/2006 3:37pm

You have a drinking problem.

No worries though, dont we all.

Try not to get so ****-faced though, so when you tell the stories you can remember all the funny details. (Like Omega's stories, much more fun)

"the sound of his arm snapping was like the sound of crickets chirping in the summer night"

**Hannibal** · Posted On: 5/21/2006 6:54pm

I agree in general with the points you make MMA Phil.

But you have to be careful with your assumptions. I know for a fact that there are many of brawlers out there who could put alot of martial artists to shame. I'm not glorifying the street fighter as a super human fighting machine but some of the best fighters you will ever come across have never been in a martial arts dojo.

***JohnnyCache*** · Posted On: 5/21/2006 7:45pm

MMA_Phill, this thread has caused me to re-imagine you as Spud from Trainspotting.

Also, hannibal, you know that "for a fact"

What are their names then, and what martial artists have they beaten?

Not that I don't think there a soccar hooligans out there that can beat a point fighting champion (Herb Perez Vs. Vinnie Jones would be a nice PPV card)

I just hate abuse of terms like "for a fact"

**Shuma-Gorath** · Posted On: 5/21/2006 8:00pm

Originally Posted by Hannibal

I agree in general with the points you make MMA Phil.

But you have to be careful with your assumptions. I know for a fact that there are many of brawlers out there who could put alot of martial artists to shame. I'm not glorifying the street fighter as a super human fighting machine but some of the best fighters you will ever come across have never been in a martial arts dojo.

I know you don't train, but don't pretend you measure up to a soccer hooligan. Not even the Swiss.

**Hannibal** · Posted On: 5/21/2006 8:24pm

Shuma-Gorath, shut the **** up !

Your in no position to put down anyone. Your a 68 kilogram weakling and all the gaurd passing and BJJ you do won't change that.

Johnny, you want names ? Why ? You won't know them. I'm not talking about dipshit soccer hooligans here who only have the balls to fight when they've got a hundred men behind them. No way.

I'm talking about the genuine article. As I said there are many brawlers out there that could put most martial artists to shame. Some of the one's I know are bricklayers and labourers employed by the same construction company that employees me. Hand these guys a shovel and they'll dig trenches all day long so don't hand me the conditioing line. They're rough as guts and love a good fight.

I've seen these guys in violent blues and they are animals. For them, violence is a way of life not something they experiance in a dojo. They don't have people punching or kicking them untill the instructor calls "stop". No, they're used to scumbags attacking them with bottles and car jacks. By the time these guys where 16 they've had more experiance with life and death attacks than all of us will ever know.