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  1. Rhamma is offline

    Not over zealous, but just zealous enough. 病気の粗悪品

    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Location
    Texas
    Posts
    1,417

    Posted On:
    5/11/2006 7:12pm


     Style: Okinawan Karate

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    "Ever have to take a crap so bad that after you do your pants fit better?"

    ~Ron White
    People often tell me that I fail to see the gravity of the situation.
    I see the gravity, and I say...

    Step right up folks and watch me defy gravity!
  2. Shuma-Gorath is offline
    Shuma-Gorath's Avatar

    Senior Member

    Join Date
    Apr 2003
    Posts
    6,608

    Posted On:
    5/11/2006 8:04pm

    supporting member
     Style: BJJ - Homeland Security

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    I submit these archived posts so that you may channel your pain.

    Quote Originally Posted by Tossed Salad Man
    Bathroom Ninja

    Dear sir,

    I have just returned from making the most awfulest **** you could possibly imagine.

    As it began it was mostly water and pooish water rocketing in a tepid jet from my ass, as I have been sick for a few days, then I started to shoot pea sized chunks of god knows what all over the bowl, this was bad, but it was only a harbinger of the evil that would spring forth from the very depths of hell via my asshole.

    Suddenly all the poo water subsided and my innards began churning and bubbling, suddenly I was hit with an incredible pain.

    The turd which slitherd out of my ass started off with what felt like a glue like texture turning to stone, then some type of very hard metal, it was brownish green with a orangish tint to it. There was what looked like hair and or fur, there was peanuts and corn and what looked like little leggos.

    This turd sank to the bottommost depths of the bowl clogging the outlet there at the bottom. Then there was some more tar grade material to come pouring from my ass, which was full of twigs and a few berries.

    It was over, the bowl was in dissarray to say the least. I tried to flush, but the bowl could not even budge the filth with was spawned from my bowels.

    So I just left it there.

    I was not on break, I STOPPED working to do this, I didnt flush and didnt wash my hands.

    PLEASE go clean that toilet now, you syphillitic donkey fucking **** eating turd burglar of the 6th degree, I poo on YOU and all of your kind.


    K. THX. BYE.

    PS...

    Someone went in behind me and aborted a fetus into the same clogged up, **** covered toilet, yuo need to get your mad ninja skills on that bowl, buddy, its geting worse by the minute....

    I also stopped working, on the clock, to go check it out again...

    Next stop, water cooler.....

    Better get to work, there, slappy.

    ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Well, see, pal, this stomach bug I got is hell, I went to **** again, and all the bowls were full, so I **** in the urinal. This time it was mostly a sludge with bits of foam rubber and what appear to be captain crunch berries...I didnt flush that either, I think everyone in the bathroom at the time was SHITTING, this virus has gotten to everyone here....Better bring your big ninja plunger, slappy.

    Loretta the front desk receptionist, says that there is an awful poo in the ladies room, on the little couch they have in there, better get the stanley steemer while your in there, fruity.

    Ps. We are ALL on the clock.

    K. THX. BYE.

    -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    It appears as though, now, the affore mentioned **** heap/aborted fetus, has somehow combined fecal/unborn DNA and somehow formed some type of pulsing gurggling **** heap from beyond the anal realm.

    It has requested a bucket of the colonels finest extra crispy, as it needs horrible fast food to live.

    Please, Bathroom Ninja, stop by and help the poor aborted fetus **** heap monster, so it may slither off to where it is an aborted **** heap fetus may want to slither off to.

    Also, Betty from Recieving, said that Fred the Courier has **** the entire cab of his truck full, and the proceeded to cause the toilet down in recieving to implode, and there is an extra-dimensional rift where the toilet used to be.

    I know youre not the extra-dimensional rift Ninja, but it USED to be a toilet, so you know, while your at it, hop down there and see what you can do on that matter too, fruitcake.

    Boy, a Bathroom ninja must stay busy, what with all these people shitting while they are on the clock, is there a bathroom Ninja school, or was it what your guidance counselor told you, youd be good at, after he finished blowing sopooge all over your back....

    The mind absolutely fucking BOGGLES at the possibilities.

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    NOT SO FAST SPARKY.

    You failed to check BEHIND the toilet, I had some poo water blowback cover the croched rug around the toilet(my old blind granny made out of the fur of her deceased cat) and it looks like some kind of macrome' ****-nugget floor covering. Please dispatch this "**** carpet" ASAP.

    Also, I have now **** IN the water cooler, there you will find a turd of extraordinary magnatude, and could you fix the hot spiggot on the cooler while youre there?

    THX. BYE.
  3. Mr. Jones is offline
    Mr. Jones's Avatar

    resident sick ****

    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Location
    Dallas
    Posts
    3,309

    Posted On:
    5/11/2006 9:50pm

    Join us... or die
     Style: Being a total psychopath

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    This thread is shitty.
  4. Poop Loops is offline
    Poop Loops's Avatar

    OOOOOOOOOOAAARRGGHH RLY?

    Join Date
    Nov 2004
    Location
    Americastan
    Posts
    10,025

    Posted On:
    5/11/2006 9:59pm

    supporting member
     Style: In Transition

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    ****. And I just changed my name, too.
  5. Mr. Mantis is offline
    Mr. Mantis's Avatar

    One Ambulance, Eleven Cops...

    Join Date
    Sep 2003
    Location
    under the sink
    Posts
    6,333

    Posted On:
    5/11/2006 10:04pm

    Join us... or die
     Style: Kung Fu

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by Yrkoon9
    How the hell does someone spray excrement with such force that it actually becomes spray? It is almost atomized the particles are so fine.
    I don't know.



    But it feels good when you're doing it.:pool:
    “We are surrounded by warships and don’t have time to talk. Please pray for us.” — One Somali Pirate.
  6. VikingPower is offline
    VikingPower's Avatar

    Yes Koto got his name changed, quit asking...

    Join Date
    Dec 2004
    Posts
    4,993

    Posted On:
    5/11/2006 11:02pm

    supporting member
     Style: Kyokushin Karate

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    He lines the seat too. What a pansy.
  7. Mr. Mantis is offline
    Mr. Mantis's Avatar

    One Ambulance, Eleven Cops...

    Join Date
    Sep 2003
    Location
    under the sink
    Posts
    6,333

    Posted On:
    5/11/2006 11:06pm

    Join us... or die
     Style: Kung Fu

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by Koto_Ryu
    He lines the seat too. What a pansy.
    Seriously. Anyone who thinks a flimsy layer of tp is going to save their ass from some germ or critter, is sadly mistaken.
    “We are surrounded by warships and don’t have time to talk. Please pray for us.” — One Somali Pirate.
  8. Neildo is offline
    Neildo's Avatar

    Senior Member

    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Location
    Vancouver BC
    Posts
    6,045

    Posted On:
    5/11/2006 11:10pm

    Join us... or die
     Style: FBSD

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Then am i just a paranoid germaphobe for cleaning public toilet seats before i use them?

    Because I do. Some people are nasty motherfuckers. NASTY.

    HOW DO YOU DISGUSTING PEOPLE LIVE LIKE THAT???? HOW I ASK YOU????
    :new_all_c
  9. Mr. Mantis is offline
    Mr. Mantis's Avatar

    One Ambulance, Eleven Cops...

    Join Date
    Sep 2003
    Location
    under the sink
    Posts
    6,333

    Posted On:
    5/11/2006 11:13pm

    Join us... or die
     Style: Kung Fu

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    Quote Originally Posted by Neildo
    Then am i just a paranoid germaphobe for cleaning public toilet seats before i use them?

    Because I do. Some people are nasty motherfuckers. NASTY.

    HOW DO YOU DISGUSTING PEOPLE LIVE LIKE THAT???? HOW I ASK YOU????
    No. I think it's a good idea to wipe the piss and butt sweat off the toilet before you mount it. But! lining it with tp and hovering over it is something only girls do.
    “We are surrounded by warships and don’t have time to talk. Please pray for us.” — One Somali Pirate.
  10. Neildo is offline
    Neildo's Avatar

    Senior Member

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    Mar 2005
    Location
    Vancouver BC
    Posts
    6,045

    Posted On:
    5/11/2006 11:15pm

    Join us... or die
     Style: FBSD

    --
    Hell yeah! Hell no!
    In the Philippines, you have little choice but to squat and hover.

    Most public washrooms (called the CR, for comfort room) don't have seats. Just a bowl.

    There's a website that documents public toilets around the world, Though i can't recall the address and don't feel like looking for it.
    :new_all_c
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